Husband - In many ways you are a one man team because you likely have the most to lose in terms of custody and money. Going in to the case, it is assumed the ex wife is going to get atleast equal custody and half the marital assets without having to show little or anything to the court. You on the other hand, atleast in terms of your kids, will likely have to sway a Judge that you are worthy of equal custody. Your mental health and attitude are already being threatened before the game begins. Even the most supportive friends and family members are not going to be able to do anything of significance to help you and they even feel bad once they recognize they can do little to help you. You likely fall into one of two camps in terms of what type of wife you have to face in a divorce and custody proceeding.
If you have a stay at home wife or one that has not worked anything other than a part time at her convenience, the money she makes goes into her own account for her enjoyment(remember the old saying "what you earn is yours and hers and what she earns is only hers") you are likely the biggest uninformed chump in the whole process and have no idea what is coming. You are smart and successful In your career. You take care of your family. You save your money. You are home every night. You take pride in providing for a family and are involved in the community volunteering your expertise and time. You think you are going to walk into court and feel nothing but love from a Judge and system that is finally seeing a man do everything right as a man and father. You will likely lose most of what you have worked for and end up with high child support payments. If you want equal custody of your children, you better have the goods on your perfect soccer mom wife or you will be seeing your kids every other weekend. Your belief in who you are and confidence to be opinionated about the obvious financial and custodial injustice only makes it easier for the Judge to take everything from you without regard for how you carried yourself as a man. You are likely that guy who dictates terms in your life but you are now facing the sad reality that no matter who you are, you are nothing special in family court no matter how poorly your wife behaved during the marriage. You will now be told what you can keep from your years of work and when you can see your kids.
You may be one of those men who is married to a woman with a full time job or even a career as successful as yours. Maybe you do or don’t make as much or more than a man with a stay at home wife. Maybe your belief system is the same as the man with the Stay at Home Wife. Maybe your wife works because she actually wants to earn, contribute or grow herself rather than just sit at home and live off you or wait on the divorce payday. The fact your wife works will help you financially when it comes time to determine support amounts, but her approach to child custody as with a stay at home wife man is to get you to allow her to have primary custody using babysitters while you see your kids every other weekend. Don’t be shamed into not fighting for equal custody of your kids and minimizing your child support.
IF YOU ARE UNWILLING TO FIGHT FOR EQUAL CUSTODY OF YOUR KIDS, YOU SHOULD JUST FORFEIT THE GAME!!
While working and life itself can be time consuming and financially difficult, especially after a divorce, every man needs to make every effort to have custody 50% of the time. Not 25%. Not just weekends and summers. 50%. If you are unwilling to fight for this time, your kids will suffer later way too often. Without it, you will not see them grow the way you should. You can justify it all you want that a schedule with less time is better, but over time, you create problems for yourself mentally and the long term relationship with your kids is will suffer. This failure to get equal custody also gives the wife an advantage if she decides to move for a job, or get remarried. As your kids age they will have more of a say where they want to live but until then it is vital as a man and a father that you do all you can to see your kids as much as their mother does.
If you have a stay at home wife or one that has not worked anything other than a part time at her convenience, the money she makes goes into her own account for her enjoyment(remember the old saying "what you earn is yours and hers and what she earns is only hers") you are likely the biggest uninformed chump in the whole process and have no idea what is coming. You are smart and successful In your career. You take care of your family. You save your money. You are home every night. You take pride in providing for a family and are involved in the community volunteering your expertise and time. You think you are going to walk into court and feel nothing but love from a Judge and system that is finally seeing a man do everything right as a man and father. You will likely lose most of what you have worked for and end up with high child support payments. If you want equal custody of your children, you better have the goods on your perfect soccer mom wife or you will be seeing your kids every other weekend. Your belief in who you are and confidence to be opinionated about the obvious financial and custodial injustice only makes it easier for the Judge to take everything from you without regard for how you carried yourself as a man. You are likely that guy who dictates terms in your life but you are now facing the sad reality that no matter who you are, you are nothing special in family court no matter how poorly your wife behaved during the marriage. You will now be told what you can keep from your years of work and when you can see your kids.
You may be one of those men who is married to a woman with a full time job or even a career as successful as yours. Maybe you do or don’t make as much or more than a man with a stay at home wife. Maybe your belief system is the same as the man with the Stay at Home Wife. Maybe your wife works because she actually wants to earn, contribute or grow herself rather than just sit at home and live off you or wait on the divorce payday. The fact your wife works will help you financially when it comes time to determine support amounts, but her approach to child custody as with a stay at home wife man is to get you to allow her to have primary custody using babysitters while you see your kids every other weekend. Don’t be shamed into not fighting for equal custody of your kids and minimizing your child support.
IF YOU ARE UNWILLING TO FIGHT FOR EQUAL CUSTODY OF YOUR KIDS, YOU SHOULD JUST FORFEIT THE GAME!!
While working and life itself can be time consuming and financially difficult, especially after a divorce, every man needs to make every effort to have custody 50% of the time. Not 25%. Not just weekends and summers. 50%. If you are unwilling to fight for this time, your kids will suffer later way too often. Without it, you will not see them grow the way you should. You can justify it all you want that a schedule with less time is better, but over time, you create problems for yourself mentally and the long term relationship with your kids is will suffer. This failure to get equal custody also gives the wife an advantage if she decides to move for a job, or get remarried. As your kids age they will have more of a say where they want to live but until then it is vital as a man and a father that you do all you can to see your kids as much as their mother does.
