I remember the time I spent dating my wife and all the way through my wedding day. I was happy and upbeat looking forward to the married life I had hoped for but had not found until I was 35 years old. I had no idea that being married to someone who treated me poorly or took advantage of me would cause my personality to change giving my eventual ex wife to have an excuse to shame or blame me for the end of the marriage.
There are many people who are naturally unhappy. They can get married and they don't suddenly become happy. That is for another conversation. What men fail to see however is that they would be considered happy or at the very least not miserable or defeatist, but once they get married their personality slowly changes to one of anger or silence because they are manipulated by their wife to the point where the happy man who got married is now showing signs of unhappiness with a gruff personality with so clue how to fix his situation. Divorce is the last thing on his mind and women know it.
If you are a man who got married and was happy but after so much time being married yet neglected and demeaned causing your personality to change, whose fault is that? Is it your wife's for her day to day behavior that causes you to just not be happy like you were before you met her? Is it yours for not following the mantra to act happy no matter how upset you are at your marriage situation? The end result is that when the marriage ends, your ex wife has something to blame for why the marriage ended. He was silent or a grouch. How do you defend these accusations when you see yourself as happy. Once you see your upbeat or positive personality start to erode, it is time for you to evaluate you life and the marriage because we cannot go through life pissed off or uncooperative which is only going to get worse.
When I decided to leave my wife, I certainly wasn't as happy as I was when we married, but after I found the secrets of fan fiction porn addiction, drinking, and black guy fetishes, over and above the blatant disrespect, laziness, and lack of sex, I certainly became mad and decided to leave the marriage. For all of the things I had to justify leaving, her simple response to this day as to why things went bad was that I was just a grouch and unhappy. She certainly could fake what she needed to, but I could not.
If you are naturally depressed or always angry, your marriage is not going to last no matter how nice your wife is day to day. The angrier and meaner you are, the sooner she is likely to be looking for your replacement and will try to time it when it benefits her monetarily. People know when you are mean and grouchy and if you are naturally this way you better fix it or your wife will leave you for a happier man at some point. This is where men have to be better.
However, if you have gotten married and watched your happy positive personality slowly morph to silence or indifference because of how your wife treated you, it is time for you to leave your wife. You do not deserve to live in a marriage where you are silent or just not happy like you were before. Even if you dont act mad and keep everything inside, your wifes most common claim as to why they leave you ie that you are grouchy, seems to be a catch all description that justified them ending the marriage or asking you to leave. This inaccurate reason she gives to anyone who listens, including your children, does not overcome her porn addiction, alcoholism, fetishes for black guys, and overall difference to your presence as the reason the marriage ended. No man, no matter how happy he is, can be asked to survive life with a woman when her habits are beyond the fact you have gone silence.
If you are naturally a grouch or angry person you will never see your wife preparing to leave you. If you ae not like that but have morphed into one, you hopefully see the change in yourself as the reason to file for divorce and make it on your narrative. This can rarely be fixed in a marriage so its time to move on without hesitation. If you do this, she will use the term grouch to describe you to anyone who listens. It may be somewhat accurate as you go through the divorce process because she has beaten you down so much over a certain period of time. You dont want your good personality to be permanently destroyed by a woman who showed you no love and respect during a marriage.
As your marriage deteriorates and you are hearing your wife call you angry or grouchy more often while she parades around living the way she wants while planning to divorce you, you need to take action because even if you have not realized it, you likely are angry and grouchy because you are married to a horrible woman who does not care about you. It was hard for me to accept the fact that my frustration with how I was treated despite being a great husband, father, and provider caused me to shut down and go silent. Once I decided to walk out on her, my personality came back. I was back to my happy self and most importantly my children do not think I am angry or grouchy.
Think about where you are in your marriage and how your personality has evolved. If you became a father, made more money, and had mostly good things happen post marriage yet your personality went from good to slient or grouchy, ask yourself why this is happening. If you wake up and accept the fact your wife is treating you horribly causing this personality shift, then it is time to leave. Its hard to do but as I tell everyone I help who is at this stage, it is not going to get any better and one day she will leave you. That day is coming soon and you need to beat her to the punch and do it on your terms.
My ex wife still drinks too much and I have no doubt she continues to write volumes of porn fan fiction while living on the computer. She can fake being happy all she wants but her problems are all the same no matter how much money I have to give her each month despite having equal custody of the kids. She cant be fixed even if she gets rid of a man she did not want by behaving so poorly. The difference is that once I went from married and happy to married and beat down and silent ie grouchy, once I left and started to rebuild my life, I got my happy personality back. It happened naturally and isnt fake. Is there some anger still left after how I was treated by the wife and family court? Sure. However, my day to day actions are better in that I dont act like I have a cloud of defeat hanging over me that just exhuded misery. I can be happy around my kids without being accused of being fake.
If this all sounds familiar and you want the full guide on how to walk away from your wife, we are still here helping more and more men than ever.
The Red Devil