Once a man learns that Family Court is not his friend, the sooner he will learn to prepare for his Divorce. Most men heading into the Divorce environment have no clue about what is coming or what the rules are. I can say that and I have a damn law license. Most men do not go into marriage even thinking about divorce. Women are the opposite. Whether it be on their own or through the help of other women, women know the important divorce laws inside and out. They want to marry successful men for a reason. If they don't get their way during the marriage and it ends, they get paid. Men learn this too late but men who have been through it need to start teaching other men how all of this works.
One common issue I see is the vindictiveness of women even if the divorce is on their terms. They want you punished in every way possible and it goes beyond getting more than her share of the financial resources. One thing most of them do is once the divorce becomes inevitable is they start to remove your personal items from your home. Stuff that matter to you most, which has no value, starts to disappear. While you as a man are aware of your stuff and what matters, you don't do a daily check in to make sure it is where you keep it. Whether you have it on display or in a drawer, your not thinking about it every day. Your wife is. She knows exactly what matters to you most personally and even if it has no monetary value, it has value to you and she is going to steal it. The things my wife made disappear were some of the most important things that mattered to me. You might ask why I didn't notice? When you are under the stress of a divorce and likely having to leave your marital home, you want to get your stuff packed up and out of there as quickly as possible. If you have lots of stuff, you are not going to miss things immediately but once you are out of the house and you can do inventory, you suddenly realize what was taken. You cant get back into the house you left and your wife is going to deny all accusations you make about what she took. The items that she stole that had value that you can replace you forget those and just rebuy them but the personal stuff you owned cannot be replaced. Once I saw the things that were taken from me, I felt rage and heartbreak all at the same time. The denials made it even worse. The positive I took out of all of it was that in my quest for trying to find a reason for why I might have doubted leaving my wife was the right decision, the only thing I could find were more and more reasons it was the smart decision. As a married man I was pretty blue pilled. I did all that I was supposed to do and what I thought men were supposed to do. Once I took the red pill and started asking questions, the divorce came because she now knew you were on to her and her bad character that she was hiding didn't have to be hidden any more. Its a real awakening and while it seems to be more and more popular to discuss this from a mans point of view and give advice, it was so obvious what was going on that even a simp like me many years ago could spot it. Despite what I was seeing I never thought someone who I provided a great life for and allowed to be a stay at home mom would steal my personal things because we were getting divorced.
Family courts will not help you guys. If you go in there saying she stole x y and z, she will deny it and the Judge will dismiss you. They simply don't have time to fight over little things that may not have much value but have personal value. Your soon to be ex wife has that list so the best thing to do is get your mindset straight before you divorce. Men need to know where there stuff is and take anything personal out of the house the minute the divorce becomes an option. It will save a lot of heartache. Men dont steal like this from women as even the worst man is rarely going to take personal things from an ex unless the plan is to convert it to money. Men and women both steal for a variety of reasons but only women make it personal no matter how good you were to them in marriage and no matter how much money they get in the divorce despite contributing nothing.
In todays world men must be prepared for the divorce battle long before it gets to that point. It is a sad world we live in where women now more than ever control the relationship narrative. If you are an alpha successful man you might get lots of women, but while you are walking around proud of your beautiful giant breasted wife and all your achievements, she is likely planning how to maximize her recovery should you want a divorce or she simply decides she wants to be a single mom because she wants to date new men or simply get away from you while she lives the single life you are paying for. No man is immune to the behavior of these women who get away with it because looks are the prize for men when it comes to women. If you are the average guy with an average job who just wants to have a family and live like your parents did with a couple of kids, you are facing a battle today to where even getting your average woman to be your wife and have kids with you is near impossible. Without the right attitude and support, while you may not get divorced raped like the typical alpha guy does, you end up alone playing video games and drinking real quick.
Stealing is just an example of why men need to get their mindset about women and marriage straight long before they deal with it. We all hope to be married for life, but odds are we wont even if we do get married and are lucky enough to have a family. Therefore men must continue to educate themselves on the ways of women and the court system so they can control the narrative a bit better when the divorce hits. It is never good advice to avoid the marriage game if you want kids, but if you are going to play know what you are going up against so you don't lose your personal items from someone who is simply going to hurt you out of spite like mine did by amongst other things, taking what was the most valuable to me and making it disappear. It has happened to many others and will to you as well if you don't prepare. If you don't think it matters, take something small like a watch or other momento that your father gave you and just throw it in the trash and then you will understand that this is just another issue men deal with in silence because no one really cares, especially the person you married who stole it from you.
Sperm Donor, Retirement Plan, or Both?
In order to be the best man you can you need to understand when to get married and why you are doing it. If you are a man that does not want children, under no circumstances should you get married. Repeat this to yourself 100 times and tattoo it on your chest if necessary.
If you are like most men who want a family and children, in today's world more than ever you have to understand when and how to get married because you are likely to get divorced and the only person that benefits from the divorce is the woman. There is no way around it and women show their understanding of divorce law by their behavior toward you once married. They likely have the divorce planned before they marry you and build their case from the day you get married to make leaving easier and more profitable or to damage you should you one day get some balls and walk out on her as I did my wife. As long as you do what she says while married, you may never see the case she is building for the lawyer she has not yet hired. Unless you were lucky and got the rare sensational, family oriented, loyal woman who knows what it means to be a wife and partner, the older you are when you marry, the more likely it is the woman married you because she wants your sperm so she can get the kids that will get her more money when you divorce or she knows she will never be able to earn enough with her own talent to live the lifestyle she wants. She is going to hitch herself onto your success so she can live well while married and live even better once you divorce. This is what happened to me as I was simply a sperm donor and a retirement plan for a woman who faked what she needed to get her financial goals met because she knew she would live a low end financial life without the right man. Looking back all I can do is kick myself for allowing it to happen but delaying marriage until later in life combined with being blind to the nature of a beautiful woman only made me the ultimate mark and she played it well to get what she wanted. I don't want that to happen to any man.
I am ultimately at fault for the financial raping and parental alienation I had to deal with once I decided to end my marriage because I failed to make the right decisions at the right time earlier in life. My goal now is to teach as many men how to spot these women, avoid getting hitched to them at the wrong time no matter how pretty they are, and still build a life that involves marriage and a family with minimal loss when you likely end up divorced or are forced to make a decision to stay in a bad marriage or leave. If you are a man facing divorce and the potential problems that come with it, this post is not really for you. The issues that you are going to face are long and difficult to fix or minimize the damage. This is discussed elsewhere. If you are a younger man who saw his parents have a marriage that made you want to marry and have kids as they did, then you need to start planning early and make it happen even if means giving up sleeping with a bunch of young women when they are the easiest to bed.
There is not a better time in life than college years for most men. You are young and likely in the best shape of your life. Beautiful girls are everywhere and have still not fully developed or been exposed to the mindset of using a man for sperm or money or both. They love like they never will in their life again. The games they play with your heart and mind still exist but its no different than games the women in their 30s play other than if you are still single at that age, experience makes it a little less emotional for you. If your goal is to get married and have kids, you need to be trained to look for a quality woman who is marriage and family minded so you can get married young. If a woman is going to be like this in a sincere way, it is when she is young. If you are trying to do this after college age it gets harder to find. Once a woman gets out of college, if she is not in a serious soon to be married relationship she is more likely lose her ability to love, cheat on the man she is with, and her hypergamous nature begins to show itself. If she is pretty everything is amplified. As you get older and you see more divorced women, you wil learn that these women simply have no ability to feel like they did when younger. Men are simply a need to and end.
I know what you are thinking. Why would a man in his prime youth with more females available than any time in his life make a commitment to one woman and get married. You give up all the women, you likely are not established financially, and kids are only going to make day to day life tougher and more stressful. All that is true but life is about choices. Its the rare person who can get what he wants without having to give something up. The richer your family is or the more exposure you have socially to women after you leave school the better your odds are at meeting a certain type of top notch woman. For the average guy who might even be hard working and social, as you age your exposure to available quality women decreases. Who wants their first marriage to be to a divorcee or a single mom? When you are in your 30s and trying to get a wife and kids, you will be glad if the woman you meet does not have a kid by another man. Shes likely divorced and that makes her even more likely to see you and your Im going to wait until I have a career and some money before i marry mindset as the perfect victim to get what she wants. Her giant breasts and your receding hairline only make you more susceptible to these type of women. It is what is out there guys and delaying something like a wife and family is only going to cause you more heartache and financial destruction.
Once you have the mindset to marry young and not just have sex with every young lady you meet, you have the best chance to find a nice girl who wants kids and family. She will be immature but you will know if she cares for you. You will be broke and worried about how to pay for things but dont let others tell you to wait. If you are going to a professional school or still unsure about anything in terms of career do not let that stop you from getting this part of your life going. If you have your kids young you arent as likely to be able to provide for them or give them as many things, but your family is likely to be a happier environment and the kids have better odds at mom and dad being together when they are finishing high school. Even if you divorce and it goes wrong, you have your kids and the money you pay out for child support will likely be less than a man who waited to marry when he had the nice income. You will also be old enough to rebuild and enjoy the company of many new women while you are a still young. While divorce sucks, it is easier to handle the younger you are because the loss is less and the opportunity to date and enjoy new women is higher. Getting divorced in your 40s with young kids after you built a career with no help from a woman you married late because she spent her 20s riding the cock carousel is the worst outcome. Delaying marriage and family means you are less likely to get a quality woman who has the ability to actually care about you versus what you can provide for her because she could not find a man while young or she got divorced from her college sweetheart.
There is nothing worse than being used by a woman who takes a marriage vow and chooses to have kids with you for money. Its a reflection on her character but also your own lack of knowledge for allowing it to happen. Younger women will certainly change as they age and there is still atleast a 50% chance you will divorce, but if you are aware of how great a family unit can be, these negative statistics should not keep you from getting married.
I know many men who think getting married young is foolish yet they all want kids. When our college girlfriends left or cheated on us because we wouldn't push for marriage or we allowed ourselves to pick one who had no value beyond their looks, we left school with an uncertain or delayed career path and less women around that might allow us to meet a wife. You hit 30 real quick and you are still looking for a wife. You hear about the woman who you thought was awesome marry young and she now has kids and what seems like a good relationship. If she breaks up with her husband he has his kids, a fresh start, and got the best years of his wife. If they stay together, they are likely bonded in a way that only marrying young allows. You still have nothing and your looks are going down no matter how much you try to stay in shape. If you turn into a sloth youre chances at a decent woman is pretty much zero. On the other side of 30 your options are more and more single moms and divorces with the occasional unmarried unattractive woman crossing your path. There is nothing positive here at all and with rare exception does a man who does not run in significant social circles find a decent woman to marry after age 30 who has no baggage and the ability to feel.
If you are that guy like I was who was not married in his early to mid 30s after building your career and getting a real financial foothold in life, you are now a sperm donor or retirement plan to most women. You may get lots of sex and women who see you as a catch. However, they have no interest in you as a person. If you think you can marry a woman 10 years younger while it might be good on paper, if she is picking you it is simply for money because she does not want to build it with a guy her age. If you marry a woman who is near your age then she is likely divorced or not attractive. She sees you as a sperm donor because her biological clock is ticking and you were Mr Right Now who just happened to be the guy she was dating at the time she realized she better have her kids. If she isnt emotionally dead because her first marriage didnt work, then she spent her 20s having more sex than you will ever know and she is marrying you for your ability to provide. She cant pair bond with you either way. Like most men, when you are 35 and frustrated you couldnt find a wife and you want kids, your standards go down and your character radar are shut off. This leads to bad decisions, a loveless marriage, and divorce rape. If you have the ability to see this and can walk away from a bad woman in your mid 30s, you are likely able to accept that you are not going to have kids. I know many men who are now well into their 40s who never got married and never had kids because they think they are going to meet this perfect woman that will love him and pay attention to him like that college girl did back when women were at an age when they could feel something for a man. These women arent showing up guys and unless you want to marry a younger woman who wants your money in exchange for kids knowing she isnt with you for you, then keep doing what you are doing while you read about all the guys you knew when you were younger posting things on Facebook about their kids getting married etc.
Life is about choices. If you were raised in a good family environment and value a life with a good woman and kids then you need to get a mindset as a young man and work toward finding a way. This may require some monogamy and you are likely to have sex with fewer beautiful girls while you are in the physical prime of your life, but the reward is so much more and if and when your marriage goes bad, the financial and child custody issues, while still stressful, are less of a destruction to you than if you wait until your 30s or later to marry.
Dont make the mistake I made guys which was not getting married until my mid 30s. Delaying marriage only increases the likelihood you will end up with a woman who simply has no ability or desire to enuinley love or bond with you but who knows all the tricks to get you locked in to a marriage contract to get her financial or biological needs met. There is not a worse feeling in the world than either continuing to increase the odds you don't get married and have no kids because you are still waiting for this perfect match to show up, or that you end up a Sperm Donor and a Retirement Plan for a woman because you wanted kids and didnt make it happen for yourself as a younger man and are now choosing poorly to get things that you should have tried to make happen as a younger man.
When a man hits 40-45, that is the age a divorce is most likely to happen. The reasons are endless, but this is also the age where a man can go downhill fast physically, mentally, or economically divorce or not. A divorce only speeds up these changes that are basically his mid life crisis. Ultimately its his mindset and response to what has happened that will determine how he enjoys the rest of his life. Life should get better as we age, but if the hurdle of divorce faces you, the after effects need to be managed and handled or you will die slowly and younger than you should.
When I advise other men, I try to look at myself as the benchmark so this helps me give real advice and not just a list of cookie cutter dos or don'ts to help move forward with life. I was always in decent shape and athletic since I was a young boy. I was good at sports and played on teams all the way through college. I wasn't super in shape but I wasn't the guy sitting on my couch playing video games and eating cheetos well into my 30s. Could I have exercised more? Yes. Did I continue to be active up until I got divorced? Yes. Was I that guy who worked out 3-5 times a week who lived at the gym and went running all the time? No. I was the guy who was barely hanging on to my athleticism and doing everything I could to keep from getting noticeably fat or lethargic. At age 40, unless you are making it a priority to stay in super shape, your body is going to show real signs of age and it gets harder to fend it off. I never saw myself as depressed and certainly didn't sit at home on the couch in order to advance my age faster, but I was more aware of my age than at any other time in life. Sadly many men let things go often enabled by bad habits to numb themselves from the hurdles of life they could not climb. Add a failed marriage or no ability to get women and too many men realize their best years are behind them. Fighting off age is a battle we all face, but we want to do it on our terms. Adding negativity can push a man the wrong way to utter destruction and at this time in life, self awareness and discipline are the two most important traits a man must have to fight the battles you did not plan to face alone.
I was 40 when my marriage was noticeably an issue for me and by 44 I was divorced. At that time in life, I was not the runner constant exercise guy nor was I the guy who lived on the couch drinking myself into depression and a sloth appearance. My wife didn't physically or emotionally abandon me because of who I was or how I appeared physically. I was still a strong, athletic, high libido man who needed to exercise a bit more but I was not 25 or even 30. Even though I was the one who left my wife and filed for divorce, it was still a traumatic experience. I walked out on someone I loved and as a pro marriage and family guy, it was heartbreaking to know that no matter what I did, how much I earned, or how quality of a man I was, there was nothing I could do to make my wife treat me like I thought a wife should or to keep her from zeroing me out. I meant nothing to her other than the financial protection I provided. For as bad as that was, many women are much more open in their deception. They will flat out leave you, empty the house of all the stuff, keep your kids from you, and flash a new boyfriend within minutes of leaving you. All of your worst fears are right in your face. If you are a normal man, this destroys you emotionally and can cause you to make decisions that will harm you way more than getting a way from a horrible woman who you thought was your world.
If you are sitting in this position as a man who was just left or is thinking of leaving his wife because of what you see, but maybe wont admit, as a complete lack of a marriage, you need to have significant discipline and self awareness moving forward. Even if you can save your financial resources and can get a custody order in place with 50/50 custody of your kids, you are still losing a big part of your life. While you may not realize it at the moment you are likely better off and have an opportunity to live a life for you around new women who value you, you are still going through a change in life that can and has destroyed many men even to the point of suicide. Even if you save your money and get to see your kids, it does not matter if you begin to destroy yourself post divorce with bad decisions.
As a 40-45 year old man, divorce or not, you need to do things to allow you to enjoy the last part of your life on your terms. You cant stop age, but you can still have fun. It is important you do things gradually and slowly to give yourself the best chance at a positive life. Here are 5 things to consider which I discuss with all my clients and give real advice about with pretty much everyone in depth and an in detail so they can move forward with life and get away from what is likely a nasty or manipulative woman:
1. Understand the concept of no contact and live by it. Do not contact your ex ever kids or not unless it involves kids health or education. If this becomes necessary do it only by email. Never talk to your ex again. This is not easy and will likely require some nasty emails or even phone conversations post split if she refuses to cooperate over custody. Once things are in place, be the best dad you can and eliminate her from your life. She has eliminated you but will be glad to talk to you if she is getting things. Once she realizes she cant manipulate you any longer, she wont speak to you again. You now know that she never loved you and you were only relevant to what you could do for her.
2. Eliminate all the bad habits you can. I have never smoked and don't drink. I am not anti alcohol but it is very destructive. If you smoke do all you can to quit. If you do any type of drug stop and go to rehab if you cant. Marijuana is terrible and should never be a part of your life. I don't care if you are thin and exercise like a fiend. Eliminate it from your life. Stop drinking all alcohol. Stop drinking all soda. Reduce Sugar intake. As someone who was fatter than I wanted as I hit 40 because I like cheeseburgers and pizza, I would just say still enjoy the foods you like but cut back on the portions. This can be tough but start gradually eliminate what you can. While loved ice cream, I could give that up. What you put in your body after age 40 will have dramatic affects on you way more than it did when you were young. If you use drugs or alcohol or over eat to ease the pain of divorce, you are hurting yourself and setting a bad example for your kids. You are also letting your ex know that she may have been right in forcing a divorce. You cant beat middle age, but you can still look good and be attractive to women.
3. Exercise rationally. If you are the guy that has stayed fit and exercises all the time well into your 40s and beyond, good for you. It may make things easier for you post divorce. For the other 95% of you who are either fat slobs and have no interest in exercising or those who move a bit but aren't big exercisers, take baby steps. Get a gym membership and pay for one that has a pool and a sauna. Walking in a pool or sitting in a steam room will make you feel good which helps when you aren't to the point of throwing around weights. Its a start. It may also get you motivated to lift weights. It is easy to say hit the gym and start lifting but the key is change your life in a way that gradually leads to real improvement and not massive changes that aren't as likely to last. Get in the habit of doing things. Be outside more. Join a bowling or tennis group. Walking and bike riding are great. Start slow and build up as your mental strength improves.
4. Minimize porn. While I am pretty conservative, porn has its place especially in today's dating world. If you watch porn or like many women write porn fiction every day, especially for hours, it is destructive. Go to rehab and get help. It is a hard habit to break for many men who lived in sexless marriages who later got divorced and don't want or don't have the ability to date women. When you would rather watch porn and touch yourself than try to figure out how to have a good sex life with your spouse, it is time to divorce or for you to check yourself. I was married to someone who spent hours on the computer writing stories about Harry Potter characters having sex with each other and hogwarts etc. When I found out I was shocked but it was clearly an addiction. I couldnt get her to be interested in me and I was not going to cheat. It was divorce time. While knowing the mother of your kids wasn't what I thought she was, it made me feel that it wasn't my physical appearance or me that was the total cause for being in a sexless marriage. Either way being addicted to porn and choosing it over your spouse is pretty hurtful so dont do that to your spouse. That being said, sexual release is vital and healthy. Once you are divorced, porn can keep you from doing things in real life you might regret. Unwanted pregnancies, STDs, and the shame you feel after being with the wrong person physically are worse than the occasional porn date with just yourself. There is nothing worse than dating a woman you wouldn't talk to otherwise just because you haven't had sex in awhile. Women hate desperate men and having this option versus never watching or not touching yourself will allow you to make smart decisions with your dating life going on.
5. Intermittent fasting. This is probably the best thing any man can do post divorce to increase his overall health. In addition to giving up things like sugar and alcohol, one thing that should be mandatory is intermittent fasting. Going 20-24 hours between meals with one day for eating how you want will cause weight loss and overall better feeling. Your body will adjust pretty quick, you wont be hungry, and you will find eliminating things like candy and chocolate etc will be easier if you do it with an intermittent fasting lifestyle. Try taking 3-4 weeks and eat one meal a day between 4-6 pm. You can eat almost anything you want. Do not eat again for another 20-24 hours. Drink unsweet tea or water all you want and if you get hungry at night, have a cup of hot chocolate made with water. The weight will come off fast and you can still enjoy foods you like. This is easier than going on a diet of regular eating giving up things you still want. I can go 20-24 hours without eating if know I am going to have some nachos on occasion. I encourage every man to do this. Your energy, sleep habits, and overall mindset will improve. The discipline you show will improve in other areas of your life as well.
5. Depression medication is a no no in almost all circumstances. Women love medication. More than you think are on some form of it. Following a marriage split, they will get medicated or medicate themselves even more. The worst women want their kids to suffer along with them and will take their kids for counseling and to a doctor who will prescribe any kid medication because mom asked using her trauma of divorce as a reason the kids need help when they dont. These medications can have long lasting effects and are often the cause of destruction of a marriage. If your married someone without asking her if she is or was on some form of mind altering drug for depression or anxiety before marrying her, then you made a mistake. I did that and post divorce had to watch my normal children be carried from counselor to counselor and ultimately prescribed medication when there was nothing wrong with them. Courts will support this behavior and will also do anything to support a woman's attempt to sabatoge their own kids education. When I tell people my ex got a court order to keep our kids in a low level public school despite the chance to go to a top notch local charter school they think I made it up. The Judge supports these women. While there are cases where medication is necessary, it is rare and its over use and easily obtained prescriptions are a big reason for the issues between men and women and the suffering of their kids.
Do not get on that train. Men who are able to get real advice from other men do not need medication to deal with divorce. Men who don't have real friends who have been through similar experiences or who are counseled about things like marriage by a catholic priest instead of a man who has been through the battles are not getting help but medication is not the answer. Men are stronger than women when it comes to the battles of life because we have to be but do not ever allow yourself to get on medication for emotional issues. The side affects can involve weight can or even impotence. Its hard enough to be a man but these drugs do not help you. Find a man who can talk to you based on life experience, not some theory from a book he got with his fancy degree.
As men we need be aware of how we evolve as we age. We need to understand the nature of women so we can enjoy them on our terms and navigate marriage if we decide we want kids. When things go wrong, and there is an 80% chance your marriage will fail even if you don't get divorced, if you cannot rebuild and adapt, you will end up a big fat slob with lots of addictions. You know what these men look and act like and you do not want to be one of them. Think about your kids and think about the piece of garbage woman you are getting away from. The best revenge is a life well lived while being desirable to new women who you can walk away from the minute they start behaving badly.
The Transition of Generations
One of the people i admired most in life was my father. He didn't have the best childhood and dealt with parents who were divorced. He didn't go to college. He survived a tour in Vietnam and managed to carve out a career working with the same company for 40 years. He was lucky to marry my mother who came from the same type of background. They stayed married for 40 years until his death at age 62 from a horrible cancer that resulted from years of hiding his life's pain and tragedy in food and a sedentary life. I never really knew about any of it because he and my mother made sure my sister and I had all the opportunities they could afford and then some. I had an ideal childhood with strict but fair parents and had no idea they were barely making ends meet.
Despite all the hardships of life my parents got married and stayed together. There was no social media or even an internet. They didn't tell total strangers every time they washed their car or went to a concert yet they socialized with people. They were in a bowling league and one of the highlights of my week would be able to go with them, see the other kids, and play pinball machines and video games from the late 70s and early 80s. The lived a normal life and the priority was family and helping others. We even went to church every Sunday and I watched my dad place an envelope in the plate not knowing he could have used that money to help pay a bill that was likely overdue. Was he happy? I think he was. Was my mother happy? I think she was also. Their lives were like most peoples of the time and probably similar to their parents but with cable TV and an extra car. The kids even talked to each other face to face and made dates and really got to know each other beyond how they looked. Today people don't meet, look at a picture, and don't really connect. Men are soon going to show women nothing but their bank accounts and property the way women post their boobs and ass. How can that possibly lead to anything meaningful and it is going to be up to men to change the way we date.
Relationships have always evolved throughout time. While it would be foolish to think people were not unfaithful and there was not physical or mental abuse in marriages, other peoples lives were rarely in your face. This would give most people the chance to create a family life with respectful children who hopefully longed for the same things when they became adults. You would learn how to treat people based on how you were raised and what you saw. Every new generation becomes exposed to more and we look at past generations for their good but also their boredom and simplicity. There is a reason people are always inventing things. We want more opportunities, exposure, and overall enjoyment of life. The technology that exists now is not based on how to get somewhere faster like a car, but to advertise ourselves as individuals as who and what we are. Our character seems to matter a lot less than it did and it shows in our leaders and mentors. It had also devalued the individual and greatly reduced women's ability to pair bond with another man.
At what point do we ask ourselves how the evolution of technology and human behavior causes problems that will take generations to fix? Most generations evolution is slower. Was there that much of a difference between a generation that grew up in say 1850 versus 1880. Most of the day to day values were the same and while there were inventions that made life easier, these changes were minimal compared to 20th century generations. If we fast forward and look at say kids from the 1920s versus the 1950s were there more differences? There definitely was but family values were still very similar in our country. At some point there are changes that effect human behavior. The telephone is one example. The internet is another. These major inventions were improved after they were created.
What is my point you ask? My point is that were are now in a time where major inventions have drastically changed how people meet and date and most men, while fully participating in it, still think they can meet a woman, date conventionally, and find a quality wife to have a family. It simply cannot be done but until men learn the new rules of dating and marriage, we will continue to run over by women both emotionally and financially. If men continue to believe they can create these perfect families with loyal women, they are going to end up alone and childless. Wanting a family and kids is not something that men are going to give up on, but they are unable to achieve it because they do not know how to manage women while also having the confidence to walk away from women who have become so addicted to attention and social media platforms such as Facebook and Instagram.
Generation Xers are probably the last generation to live in a world where they saw their parents live like the Cleavers and many of us had a Wally and Beaver or Fathers know best lifestyle. We were getting lessons to get a college degree and get educated before marriage. We found ourselves even if everything went right getting married and trying to build a family just as internet dating was coming out. Once we were married and more social media platforms arrived, we saw what our wives or girlfriends truly were as people. While alcoholism might have destroyed many marriages in years past, the new drug and alcohol was the internet and bored women not getting enough attention from their husbands. Matters were made worse by a complete and total unawareness of the family court system and the advantage women had over men who now more then ever were becoming successful. The epidemic of divorce rape and parental alienation by women is now common place to the point it has made men doubt who they are and in some cultures completely disappear from trying to date or have kids. This will be downfall of the western world unless we fix it and start holding women to better standards by displaying confidence that so many of us lacked because we were desperate to be married and have a family.
Instead of trying to be what our parents were, we need to educate ourselves and train our behavior as men so women will value us. Every young man should have a mentor, hopefully his father, who has been through a bad marriage and financial rape, to teach him how to handle women. My father was a great man but he had nothing to teach me about women as he got married young and had a good family. Women today are not like my mother yet we as men are still like our fathers. What caused women to be this way is for another discussion but they have used the internet and social media to teach each other how to use men for financial gain and attention. The State supports this behavior so it is up to men to correct our behavior so women either fall in line or end up alone or as single mothers. While being divorced is not a stain on a woman like it used to be 50 years ago, there is something wrong when beautiful women are walking around today having been married twice, have kids where the dad does not even speak to or wants no part of them, and are still posting stuff all over Facebook about their dating and parental lives like it is a success to be where they are in life. The men who were involved in them are filled with anger and sit in silence because they see being divorced and isolated from their kids while having their hard earned money taken from them by the State as an embarrassment even if they did nothing to cause the divorce.
I will never be an advocate of not dating or getting married because I am worried the women might be a horrible person. That is the easy way out. I know many MGTOW guys who while perfectly capable of meeting and dating women who simply avoid them at all costs. I understand. There are more men who simply do not know how to meet or date a woman because they have not learned on how to be with women on their terms. Women should be a compliment to a mans life not his priority. He needs to be able to take or leave any woman. If the woman treats you with respect and admiration then she deserves your attention. If she behaves like she only cares about what you can do for her financially, then you get away from her as fast as possible. That is what I did. I walked away from a beautiful woman who I had two young kids with because despite wanting to be like my father in terms of how I provided for my family, I was not going to be used by someone who clearly cared nothing for me and only saw me as a wallet and a sperm donor for her kids because I was the guy who was around when she was ready to do what she had to do to get her kids and secure her financial future through my hard work. I still thank God for giving me the courage to do this because this was before the information men are now teaching each other was available in the massive amounts it is today. Most men faced with the situation I was in stayed in their marriage and years later they are even more miserable or now that they are seeing the light, the wife has already or is in the process of raping them for even more money in divorce court.
If you are a father with a son and have been through the divorce and child custody wars it is your duty to teach your son how to manage women and still have kids and maybe even a family. This starts with modern day dating techniques that involve making your son be a better and more dominant man. If you are a man who does not have a mentor to teach you these things, find one. The money I save men and the lessons I teach are worth the time and investment. Having knowledge about your enemy is the biggest boost of confidence heading in to battle. Despite my experiences with women I still want to spend time with them. Had I known what I know now when I was 20, my dating and married life would have been totally different. The mistakes I made when dating as a young man make me cringe and these mistakes lead me to make bad decisions in later relationships that caused financial and mental hardship that no good man deserved. What I learned from these experiences need to be shared with other men as we are in the process or transitioning from a generation of men who see family like the Cleavers on one level to a new set of men who dont know how to manage dating and women and are going to get buried. The end result if we do not help each other with these changes is going to be a culture of Americans, and you know who I am talking about, who will shun family and shun kids for a life of porn and video games. We cant fix women as they are only destroying themselves with all this social media, but we can still manage them to our advantage. If we dont do it, the USA will die off more so than it already has because of how the modern day female. Without family, children raised in a two parent home, and church, the culture will die off.
Time to wake up men and start learning how to be men so the bad or damaged women can be avoided no matter how pretty they are. Once we get ourselves straight, the women who value what our parents did will fall in line and we can build families were women's hypergamy is kept in check.
The Red Devil