Infidelity is never a good thing. If you are a man cheating on your wife, I am no fan of yours and it is going to be hard for me to represent you in a divorce unless you have kids that the wife is using as her revenge for your behavior. Even if you are cheating you should not be denied access to your kids and should have equal custody other issues not withstanding. Your children and your conscience will punish you later for your behavior. Don't let your guilt dictate the time you accept for custody.
I don't care what the statistics are, women cheat way more than men. Ask a divorce lawyer or a private investigator who cheats more and they will all say women unless the lawyer who is a raging feminist who does not care about truth and only wants a transfer of wealth. The liberal newspaper taking a survey about relationships does not mean a thing when it comes to statistics. Its like getting CNN to take a poll on Trump's job performance. Men have consciences and are less likely to cheat on their partners especially when there are young kids in the marriage. Women are always looking for better no matter how new your marriage is or how young the kids are. They have no conscience and will do what they want without concern for their spouse especially if he is a guy who is devoted to his family, secure with himself, and focused on work. Strong alpha men are often too unaware or too idiotic to think their wife would cheat on them so their wives actually cheat much easier than the insecure loser man who accuses his wife of cheating every possible minute because he knows he is a failed man and wants to control his wife.
Ask the man whose wife had just given birth to their second daughter and 4 days later there is proof of her on a website looking at african american men where people buy each other and take each other as pets. Her vagina is barely starting to stretch back and she is on the computer looking at a fantasy that she was likely enjoying while she was pregnant and probably long before her husband probably ever met her. This wasn't trolling a website out of curiosity like we all do, but someone who had been on it regularly and had more points from buying and selling then Sanford and Son in a junkyard back in the 70s. The man was probably lucky his daughter was white.
But I digress.....
Women are smart because they have to be when it comes to infidelity. When divorce happens it isn't the wife paying the husband alimony is it? Men who cheat don't have to pay less to their spouse in alimony so they aren't as aware because they don't have to be because the woman is getting paid. Where women have to be careful is when they might do something that could cost them their alimony. In North Carolina, if a spouse can prove his her partner has cheated, the cheating partner is not eligible for alimony. Infidelity can be a costly mistake for women so they do all they can to preserve their innocence and play victim to maximize their alimony award from a Judge. One year of alimony for every two years of marriage can be a nice chunk of change especially when the husband is a high earner and the woman is a stay at home wife with lots of time to cheat on her husband with men she meets online or at the gym she might go to impress the men she wants to hang out with because you now bore her and your mundane home life just isn't enough for her.
When a man cheats and divorce is on the horizon he has likely moved on with a new woman and has accepted his fate. He is a cad and the woman deserves to be paid. His wife may be up to no good also but men who behave this way are often not going to investigate their wife's behavior because he has been bad himself. He certainly could avoid alimony because she has likely cheated just like he has but he fails to protect himself because he just wants to move on.
Women are different. Their victim veil cannot come off under any circumstance. She knows all the tricks and has evolved along with modern social media and forms of communication. Her phone might as well be between her legs when she is around you because that is how important it is to her and the one place you have not been allowed to go for some time. She does not want you to have access to her phone and may even have a second burner phone. Shes smart and underhand no matter how much her voice sounds like a ditzy Marilyn Monroe and we all know how big of a slut Marilyn was. She might know you are unhappy and want a divorce or she is planning her own escape. Either way, she isn't losing her alimony or her ability to play victim in front of a judge who could care less about the truth because they are so tired of day after day hearing men complain about female behavior in court. Even if you know what to look for your wife is likely a step ahead of you in preventing her infidelity from being found out.
One of the things a woman will do is accuse a man of doing exactly what she is doing. Shes cheating on you and you want a divorce? She going to accuse you of cheating and she will take all measures to prove it even if she knows you aren't cheating and never have at any point in the marriage. The private investigators she hires and the recording devices she places in your home and car are designed simply to burn your money and justify her victim status. Ask a PI when a woman hires him to get dirt on her husband what the result was after all the money is spent. 75% of time the man was never cheating. The women who hired a PI to find the cheating man are probably cheating themselves 50% of the time. Ask a PI when a man hires him to get dirt of his wife how it turns out and 95% of the time, the wife was cheating. The suspicions were justifiable. That is all you need to know. You have a better chance of catching her the earlier you change your mindset about what your wife can and will do for money and sympathy.
As you go over all these websites and interview lawyers, ask yourself how well do you know your wife? A good lawyer is going to be more than someone who takes a retainer and adds up your assets while telling you how screwed you are monetarily. Your lawyer should help you look for the signs and not just tell you to ignore them while accepting every other weekend custody of your kids. Maybe you can catch her and save yourself some money. Alimony paid to an unfaithful wife is the worst kind of payment beyond any amount you pay for child support which goes into the wifes pocket and is never used on the kids.
Is your wife accusing you of stuff while hiding her own behavior and telling you how much you invade her privacy by asking her questions about her activities or mannerisms? Does she appear to be like the perfect loyal soccer mom who is all about her kids? Shes not but shes fooled you for a long time. That is why divorce is on your radar. How are you going to get the goods on her to get out of the alimony you are now facing? Add it to potential child support and you will see why she looks forward to the divorce and probably wants it. Shes just waiting for you to pull the plug. The victim card trumps her whore tendencies and her ability to hide her infidelity make you a real fool when it comes time to divorce your wife or heaven forbid stay in a bad marriage.
Be aware of female nature and how she will behave no matter how perfect she appears to others. She is not going to give up her alimony and has no desire to throw her boyfriend in your face no matter how much she wants out of the marriage. Its all about her. She might give off this image of perfection to her and her family but they all know why she is getting divorced and how she behaves. You need to not be the one person who has no clue before it is too late.
Lets bust her and even the playing field.....
It is a new year and a new decade, but life is going to continue to happen. For you men that are on the fence about decisions you need to make while wondering how these decisions will determine your life's path as you get older, it is important you understand where you are now based on your age and the life decisions you have made.
Lets look at the most important decade of your life when it comes to relationships.
As you enter your thirties, you are likely to be on multiple paths based on what you did in your twenties and these paths are more dangerous and fulfilling than the paths you were on in your twenties with decisions you make harder to fix or correct when compared to your younger years.
One path you may be on is that of a married man hopefully with children. If you got married in your twenties and do not have kids in your twenties you have defeated the purpose of giving up your youth and the fun that is your twenties. If you are married without kids, you better get started having them or get divorced because something is inherently wrong in your marriage if you are marrying young and not having kids. It may not show itself fully but people who get married young and don't have kids soon after will more than likely get divorced before they eventually decide to have kids. This is the worst possible path to be on as you enter your thirties.
Another path is married with atleast one young child hopefully two. This is the best path for a full life if you want children. This does not mean you are more likely to stay married and that you wont have issues with your spouse, but you are having a family and getting opportunities that only having kids can provide. As a younger family you will do more stuff, you will be more enthusiastic, and your kids will likely end up more social and often better especially if the have grandparents in the picture who can help out while they are still young and healthy. Finances will likely be a struggle but if you are ever going to have a woman be on your team and think about someone other than herself, it is when you are young. A woman's self centered behavior will increase as she ages and she is exposed to more smooth talking men bitter female friends who want her to fail. This is also your best chance to marry a good looking woman before you start to age.
If you are not married and want to be, as you get into this decade, it is going to get tougher for you. If you don't have a great paying job or are desirable to women beyond 90% of other men, your odds of getting married decrease as the decade moves forward. If you think you can just marry a woman 10 years younger when you want, that is a fantasy for the average guy. Men that are above average in looks and money don't have to worry as much when it comes to these analysis, but even the average or slightly above average guy is going to struggle to build a family as his thirties move forward. As you get into this decade of your life, you will find most of the desirable women are taken. With a society where 80% of women reproduce with 20% of men, if you think that waiting until your thirties to start finding a wife and building a family is the way to go because its all about getting your education etc before you settle down, plan on marrying a single mom or divorcee who is likely further along in the deterioration of her looks and is filled with bitterness. Women who make their thirties who are divorced or without having married are likely women with personality issues that are not going to make good wives and you will still ignore them thinking you will find some hottie in her twenties when you want.
One of the biggest mistakes I made was not getting married until I was 35 years old. This was not because I chose it to be this way. There are lots of factors that determine when you get married so development of your personality and awareness of life's path is important at a young age. While I didn't lack confidence and was well above average in looks, I failed at this for a variety or reasons. I met a girl the first year of college when I was 18. We dated until college ended which was not easy and while we didn't treat each other as well as we could have, there was no doubt love on both sides. My failure was not being an alpha male in terms of how I handled her and the opportunities that come with having a chance at meeting so many women when I was young and in my physical prime. I probably could have married her or once I realized she was not acting properly, I could have easily found another woman who was just as compatible who wanted a family when she was young. Instead I was complacent and didn't push for what needed to happen. It did not end well and we never spoke again. I look back at how I handled her and what she was allowed to do with cringe as I did everything wrong because I did not have a mentor or a lesson on how to maximize where I was at that time in life. While I seemed to be decisive in how I handled my career, I was a simp when it came time to getting and keeping a woman for anything long term. Women like attention and aggressive men can make your woman lose interest real quick if you dont show her you want a real future. If she is quality she will be responsive to you when there are feeling on both sides. By the time everything kicked in in my late twenties, it was not so easy to get married to a woman I felt worthy of what I brought to the table. Working in a small office and not being someone to socialize a lot made meeting people even harder. As online dating started to become a part of society that helped. Ultimately I met someone who was physically perfect to what I liked and who I thought would be a great mom, but she had been married before and brought many issues to the table that I chose to ignore because I was 35, not getting any better looking, and my dating pool simply was not where it was when I was in my twenties turning women down left and right without having to make much effort to get their attention. I was lucky beyond belief in that she got pregnant soon after marriage and we had two great kids before I realized that my life would end up worse then longer I stayed married to her. Many couples who marry later do not get so lucky and spend the last part of the decade in fertility clinics.
Life is about trades and bargaining in your thirties more so than any decade of your life and these trades are not made in your favor as you get older even if you are good looking man with a solid bankroll. When you want kids and you are in your thirties you will reek of desperation more than women in the same boat. You will end marrying a divorcee, a single mom, or a never married unattractive woman who likely does not have the personality to be a fun wife because she has little to no dating experience. If who you end up with is not on depression or anxiety medication at this stage of her life because of her own choices, you are the beyond lucky. If you do wait until this stage in your life to get married and try to build a family, getting kids is much harder for biological reasons. There is a lot that can go wrong. If you do have kids and assuming you are as likely to get divorced marrying in your thirties versus your twenties, the financial and emotional destruction is going to be much worse in your thirties. My divorce was so bad that I have not spoken to the mother of my kids since I walked out once I realized what my future was going to be had I stayed married. No divorce is friendly but the anger and wrath you face from a woman increases as she ages.
For every negative thing I have to say about my ex and the court system, the fact I did not get married until 35 is my own fault and I deserved what I got in terms of a partner because I ignored the damage done by her own choices and a prior husband. White Knight syndrome factored in with desperation does not allow for a good end game when it comes to trying to build a family after age 30. Getting two daughters who I am very close with and who I have real input into to their lives is worth all the failure and heartaches including the post thirties social opportunities that we will discuss in part three of this thread. As bad as the financial rape and parental alienation from the ex was, I was very lucky to win equal custody of them at trial simply because God blessed me with finding the ex wife's nasty marriage habits that not only justified me leaving my marriage despite my guilt for doing so, it gave me a real chance in court that most men don't get or wont fight for because of the cost and the legal system that tells them to take the every other weekend custody and be thankful for it. Equal custody is not automatic and women, especially women who have been married before, know this. I was forced to trial to get equal custody from a woman whose habits if they were mine would have caused me to get supervised visits at best. No matter the facts, these older women will punish you more for divorcing in their late thirties on up because they know that they are now single moms and they aren't as attractive as they were when they were young. If you think your social options are bad for meeting women when you are older, the older women know their options are even less and they are labeled as single moms which makes it even harder for them. Physically women do not age like men so they need their security protected so divorces for older people are a nightmare when kids are involved. Younger men need to be taught this so they can make decisions on life sooner rather than later.
In addition to your social and family issues as you enter your thirties, where you are in your career is also important. The paths are obvious and destructive if you make the wrong choices in your twenties.
If you spent your twenties not learning a trade, starting a viable business, or developing a reasonable career through post graduate education or with a company that offers some hope of stability as you age, you are going to look pretty stupid while men in your age group not only do well but get rich. While spending your twenties traveling and partying seems fun, by the time that decade ends you are tired of it and have nothing to show for it financially. You can start businesses that soon fail or advertise yourself to be more successful than you are to meet women, but as you enter your thirties, your ability to bs women about your lack of stability does not work or it does not allow you to end up with a quality woman. Your chances at male friendship also decrease as men isolate themselves more from others especially if they are not achieving like men of similar age. You will likely never marry, marry a single mom or divorcee, or find a low end woman way more likely than a man who gets a career and can use his stability to attract a woman. This a real problem.
By the time you hit your thirties you better be on a path with your career whatever it is with some level of stability. It certainly isn't easy to get married young and have kids while building a career, but this is the time to do it. It can be done and your physical strength and enthusiasm will be at your best. As you progress through your thirties, if you don't marry or have kids, your financial appearance only matters to you so get as rich as you can and enjoy life but to say you aren't more empty as you age no matter how wealth you are is just a big lie for 99% of men. If you do marry late despite no career or stability don't expect your wife to stick around long and you will be more likely to get divorced. If you are successful because of choices you made in your twenties, your life will be much better in your thirties because you can enjoy your older kids or provide stability to younger kids. This will also give you the best chance, albeit a small one, to get a decent woman or less damaged woman to have a family with during this decade of life. Your thirties are not designed to have it happen in this way.
If you married young and had kids in your twenties, it does not shield you from divorce, but if you do divorce, it is going to be a lot easier than a divorce in your forties or even fifties with kids who are not adults. If you marry young and divorce without kids, it is easier because assets are usually at a minimal and divorce is quick and not as expensive. People also tend to move on quicker when they divorce younger because it is easier to see more of life in front of you and begin again.
If you get married and have kids in your twenties and get divorced, this is tough and the drawback of getting married young. While divorce happens and preventing it for another discussion, if you divorce with kids at any point in your thirties you still have a huge advantage over men who will go through the same thing in their forties. The longer you make the marriage last the older your kids will be when you get divorce so your child support is near an end. This matters because you have not likely reached your maximum earning or built up many assets. When you marry and have kids in your twenties, even if you divorce, the odds are the financial hit will be less and you can still rebuild. One factor that men who marry and have kids young only to divorce is the fact they still have their kids and aren't back on the market trying to meet a woman to have kids. Nothing will destroy a mans self esteem more than a guy who does everything right in his twenties job wise, enjoys some fun during this time, and then hits his thirties thinking he will meet an awesome woman and have kids only to see that the type of woman he will meet is bitter, angry, divorced, undesirable, or mentally damaged beyond repair. You would rather stay single. The mindset that this great woman will just appear is a false dream that will lead you to a bad choice or a life post forty of no kids or raising another mans kids. Not having to worry about this makes life so much easier post divorce so use your twenties to make better decisions or you will pay for it in many ways in your thirties.
The worst thing you can do as a man is marry in your thirties because assuming divorce will happen, you are going to get financially destroyed in your forties and the payout will be at its max. While there are exceptions as to the extremes of wealth versus poverty and a mans looks, for the typical man who goes through life, your decisions are best made at certain times to allow for minimum damage and a maximum chance at recovery when it does happen.
As you think about where you are in life now, ask yourself what your future holds if you do nothing or if you make a bad mistake. In the next post, I will discuss men post 40 years old and how events in life shape them. These men might have more awareness, but the extremes of happiness versus sadness that they experience are very tough to overcome because your age is going to start to show even in the best case set up of how you live. No matter what your age, don't ignore what is going around you be it with your wife's behavior or your own choices or lack thereof.
Getting advice from the right people, especially if divorce is an option you have ignored, is vital.
Awareness is one of the best traits a man can have. The sooner a man becomes aware of himself and others around him, the less mistakes in life he makes while also avoiding long term interaction with low quality women and people. Awareness is usually obtained through our experience which resulted from maximum damage because of bad choices whether it be to our physical or mental health or our pocketbook. Every man should have a father or at least a male role model who will teach him the things in life that are needed to get the awareness necessary to live a full happy life.
Sadly we have gone from a society based on the marriage model with mom and dad both in the home doing what they were both expected to do to raise and protect their family to broken homes where fewer kids have male role models and too many are being raised by single moms who think they are better at raising children then even top level men who any child would be blessed to have as a father. Each of these models have created problems for men and this needs to be fixed because women are more than happy to ruin a family for their personal gain now more so than ever.
I was raised in the marriage model. My parents stayed married their whole lives and my dad was awesome. He did everything he could for me and gave me opportunities he did not have because his hard work allowed my mom to be at home and be the emotional support that we need day to day growing up. This balance combined with an instilled work ethic helped me essentially to turn out like my dad but with more opportunity. For as good as he was, my father did not teach me the ways of women and what I needed to do from a social standpoint to develop interaction skills needed to be better than most of the kids and young people I would meet. This is not a fault of his its just he was a dad in a time in the world where there was no internet and he was taught to work hard say as little as possible no matter who did him wrong. His background with no father didn't help. My mother was not like today's women in that she was not looking for someone better and for the most part respected my dad because he did what he was supposed to do as the man of the house. Were they both happy in their marriage for the duration? Probably not. However, they did what they believed was the right thing to do when it came to their family. This mindset is not part of today's world like it was 40-50 years ago.
The modern day family model is filled with information about social interaction because women no longer value men like my father. They are more self centered, more liberal, and always looking for better even when married to good men. With more divorces and women benefiting from them, families are destroyed and kids are left to their own because of fatherless households. Women who behave in a way that promotes divorce are still marrying men that were sons of men like my father who were not told the way of the new modern day woman. Divorce rapes are therefore up and men are getting knowledge too late. They are not able to have full interaction with their own sons who now rely on the internet and men they don't know to teach them about women often leading to disaster and uncertainty. There are now going to be less marriages for at least a generation until men can educate themselves from a young age and learn how to manage female behavior while making life choices to give them a best chance at a family life. Men must have the awareness of what to do when their wife goes off the rails for the same reasons most of them do at some point. I didnt expect my gorgeous wife to be a fan fiction porn addict and there was nothing I could have done but I certainly wished I had to the knowledge how to face the end of my marriage rather than stick my head in the sand.
If you are a young man without a real father figure who will talk to you about everything you need to know and are relying on people on the internet to get information, make sure you are getting information from men who are giving advice that is not detrimental to you building a family or promoting male hatred of women at a young age. For example, if your source of information is a man who got married and had kids is telling you not to marry or have kids, then I would not listen to that person. If a man has never married and has no kids and thinks he is the smartest man in the room because he does not have to deal with divorce, child support, and has all this time to fish and play with his dog, then that is not normal no matter how messed up this world gets. This person simply chose not to play a big portion of life and he should not be giving advice to anyone when it comes to women and family.
I was divorce raped for a lot of reasons and while I am certainly filled with hate and resentment towards the woman I married, instead of just turning into a bitter person who tells everyone not to marry or have kids, I wanted to provide insight in a way that young men can get genuine realistic advice while also helping men who are now in a bad marriage figure out the best way to leave it and deal with emotions of it while also maintaining the strength to fight for equal custody of their kids. This will continue to be my goal because we as men need to develop the next generation of men to handle these women that have gotten out of control in terms of the way they see things and how they have devalued men. My lack of knowledge and a father figure to teach me what I needed to be aware of was a big reason I didn't marry well into my thirties thus setting me up to get destroyed by a woman who was also in her thirties, previously married, and unable to pair bond making me nothing but a wallet to pay for our kids she wanted me to have no part in raising once the veil of who she was came off. I don't want any man to have to go through that even if I feel very lucky to have been able to even get married to a pretty woman who wasn't a single mom which is what is waiting for most men who delay marriage.
To help you understand what I am trying to teach men before marriage, men who are married, and men now getting ready to go through the divorce wars, I am going to give you a brief outline of what men of all ages need to be aware of while growing up and what to consider as they navigate life and age so they can maximize their happiness of life without being a bitter non participating type because they read the negativity that exists in the manosphere and from divorce lawyers who tell you to settle your battle and except 4 overnights a month with your kid so they can bank a quick fee.
From Birth until age 18
Every young man should be taught the importance of social skills and the maximizing of their physicality from the day he can walk. He should be put into social groups with other kids and wear the best stylistic clothes he can while making sure he is groomed well at all times. Sports should be emphasized and young men should be able to talk to every type of person with comfort. This does not mean you have tons of friends or hang out with people that don't share your values. It means you should not be afraid of people from all different backgrounds and races. Learn who others are cultivate friendships while avoiding people who do not meet your standard or who are into bad things. Young men should learn habits of working out and staying in shape. How this is handled varies but it should be a part of your life even if you don't have the talent to make a varsity team. Keep playing all sports and keep getting stronger. You will fit somewhere and you will maximize your talent and enjoy a better social circle. If sports are not your thing, try learning an instrument and forming a band. Learn languages. Start a business selling stuff on Ebay. Learn how to make and save money. Do not drink or smoke and have the courage to be different by telling people that you dont drink or wont smoke that joint. While you need to enjoy life you don't need to be eating junk food all day while you play video games or surf the internet in chat rooms while sitting in your room all day often not showering before you go to school in army clothes or dressed in black purposely isolating yourself at a time when you need to interact and learn about people. While we all played video games as kids, today they are spending way too much time on them and are not outside being athletic, playing their music, or learning a language. How you spend your time will vary but you want to be doing things that make you appear attractive to women and make men want to be your friend. Its a true art to do these things without advertising yourself and becoming arrogant. If you achieve all these things with a look at me attitude you will certainly attract people but they will be the wrong people. Humility, strength, and off the chart talent should be the goal of every young man and if you are a father of one, you need to know how to teach your son all these things.
(We will discuss how to be a top notch father of daughters in another post as I am the father of two of them and they are awesome in large part because of the knowledge I give them).
Good habits are formed young and if you are a young man, it is not too early to learn these things so you can develop the social skills that are ultimately going to lead to good health, happiness, and give you best chance of finding a good woman to be your wife and have kids.
While the ideas noted for a younger man seem like common sense, as you get into your twenties, there is a much more wide range of views on how to live your life and how to interact with women. There are men that will tell you to sleep with as many women as possible, don't even think of getting married until after 30, and travel the world. If you are going to have a career they say do something that you love rather than something that makes you a living or even rich. You don't want to waste the prime of your life.
I don't agree and my thoughts while simple, are much different and sadly formed off of my own regrets and lack of desire to be social because I did not do a good job in my teen years forcing myself to be more athletically involved and more social despite having the skills to do so. If you don't develop good habits as a young man you will delay important decisions as you get older and end up in bad positions even if everything falls into place later in life.
When you are in early your twenties you need to get a four year college degree. There are those who say college is worthless now and all it does is create debt etc. This may be true but a solid education can be obtained inexpensively which for most people help you get better opportunity. You can work and go to school but get that degree. You don't go to a no name college and get a degree in basket weaving for 25k a year in tuition. If you can get into a top college don't run away from that opportunity. If you can get into Duke or an Ivy League you go. I would take out those loans. For most kids you go to community college for a couple years and transfer to a good state school if you aren't yet finding path. A four year degree with a quality major from North Carolina State is well worth the price and even a little debt but creativity can cause you to graduate debt free even if you dont have the college experience your parents did. If you aren't that type for college, learn a skill and go to trade school. Get a plumbing license and learn how to run a business. You can get rich with these skills. There are lots of paths to take and most kids aren't sure what they want to do. Get your college degree and don't take out huge loans if you can avoid it and do not go to a no name private school with crazy tuition. If you have a talent or invent a product that requires full time work and you can make big money, don't go to college now. You can go later. You are the exception. Maximize that opportunity. My point is don't skip college because people are telling you not to go because of debt or that degrees are worthless. Have a plan. If you are like most kids just get your degree and sort things later. Youth is on your side.
Another piece of advice I give young men is to get married young if you can. This is made easier if you developed the social skills and confidence growing up with the guidance of a good father. If you spent your first 18 years inside not keeping yourself clean and just being a fat loser, you aren't ready for marriage as a younger man. However if you had a father or mentor teach you what to do when young, then you will understand what I am saying.
Getting married at a young age for a man makes sense for a multitude of reasons unless you do not want kids. If you don't want kids, don't ever get married. If you do, have them young and be glad you found a woman you love who wants to do the same. You fall in love when you are young, not when you are old. Getting married is not an easy task at a young age in today's world so don't think it does not require awareness to spot the young lady that sees things like you do. Remember women are at their peak sexual marketplace value in their twenties. If you are an older guy reading this, think of all the beautiful girls you knew as a younger man. They aren't around anymore and while you are waiting in to your thirties to marry they are spending their twenties having a lot of fun and marry you because they need your security. They aren't going to pair bond with you in their thirties after having sex with hundreds of guys in their twenties.
I fell in love with a gorgeous girl when I was 18. I was not mature the way I should have been even if I was considered mature by others. That girl loved me too even if other issues existed that should have ended the relationship long before we graduated college where marriage was discussed but I wasn't mature enough to push for as maybe I should have. Love makes you want to put out an effort. Would we have ended up divorced if we had married ? Probably. This likelihood is no more likely than if I had married her in my thirties. If she had waited that long she wouldn't be what she was in her twenties and as we age, my sexual marketplace value goes up while hers goes down and the chance of divorce rape goes up. Do not think for a minute that you need to wait to get married at 35 and some 22 year old will pick you. She wont but if she does, its because she has learned how to divorce rape at a young age not because you are some awesome catch who did everything right. Most people marry those near their own age for the first time. If you can meet a beautiful girl whose youth and ability to love matches yours, get married and build a life. If you think life is about spending your twenties sleeping with a lot of women it is not. If you can lock down a pretty girl who you love, you do it. Hopefully you are marrying someone of quality and you need be careful with your choices but if you meet one that is good, don't let the relationship die because you believe you are too young to marry and have a family.
Once you get married, don't be afraid to have kids. Get it done. Yes you want to enjoy the fun things of youth with just your spouse but if you are a man who wants kids and you feel you were lucky enough to get married to a girl who sees things the same as you do, have your kids and deal with all the economic and maturity issues that come with having kids in your twenties versus your thirties. You will have fun as a family doing things. Will you be a better dad in your thirties? Maybe. However, if you build your life right, you can be a good parent at a young age. Remember you are having kids with a woman while she is in her prime and capable of love. You are the lucky one. Most girls in their twenties look their best and love attention. They don't want to marry. If you found a quality one that will marry you, do not hesitate and have your kids.
Getting married in your twenties does not mean it will last and it does not mean there will be no problems because you are young and in love. What is does mean beyond the physical is also the economic. If you are getting married at any age, assume you will get divorced and begin to prepare for it and protect yourself. For all the ways you can do that, it is much easier to do when you don't have anything. While you want to make money as soon as possible, odds are you will be finishing school, building a business, or in the early stages of your career while in your twenties. Your bank roll will be low in your twenties. As you move into your thirties, the kids are getting older and can be more self sufficient which allows your wife to grow her career balancing the income or if not, you are that much closer to the end of child support years when the divorce happens in your mid to late thirties. If you divorce in a typical time frame that divorce happens, your financial payout will be less if you marry and have your kids young. You will also be young enough post divorce to enjoy many different women and you wont feel pressure to find a wife in your thirties so you can have kids. You are now in your prime, you have your kids, and while any divorce is not good, it is more easily managed as a younger man that an older man especially one who is successful financially.
No one wants to get divorced and if you are the lucky one who gets to be married 40 plus years and be happy you will be more fulfilled than if you just waited to do it in your thirties.
If you think I am wrong on this analysis, in part two of this timeline, you will learn the lessons of men who waited to get married until their thirties or were unable to get married at all.......
Make 2020 your best year and get the knowledge and mentorship from the right men, preferably your father, while you are young.