A mans value to a woman is based on his ability or willingness to provide for her financially. Even if you are a high value man from a financial standpoint, it does not shield you from a woman's hypergamus nature or her ability to seek attention elsewhere. With rare exception, no man can meet the needs of a woman to the point where she will show the type of respect and admiration he requires to make the relationship last even on a superficial level. When a man shows vulnerability or are not meeting her financial needs, her behavior becomes more open and you have to decide how you are going to handle this lack of respect.
No matter how manly or how good looking you appear on the outside, if your financial situation is bad, your girlfriend or wife is not happy and her eyes are always on the lookout for a better man. This does not mean she will leave you the minute a richer guy shows an interest in her, but you will see and feel her lack of satisfaction almost daily even if she is physically afraid of you. Depending on how you carry yourself, she may be looking openly for attention from other men or she may be doing it behind your back. She is looking and she will leave or cheat. Its just a matter of when. If she has kids with you, it may be a little more difficult and while she may be with you from a dating standpoint, she does not respect you. Men who do poorly financially don't recognize this behavior until it is too late. His woman has likely cheated or leaves him without him even being aware she had these plans. She may have liked you when you were young or new and you had characteristics that got her attention in the moment. She may have married you for a variety of reasons but as time passes, her disdain for you becomes more open. You likely don't have the confidence to do anything about it and don't think you can do better. You know leaving means your minimal living lifestyle because you are barely paying bills will change to an even worse situation further destroying your mental and financial health. This is why domestic violence and divorce is higher in lower socioeconomic relationships. Women's poor treatment of men causes the low earning insecure man to do things that make his problems worse or suffer because financially he has no control. Its rare that a poorer man is forced to make a decision to leave his wife or girlfriend because of her behavior when he is not successful. The woman usually does it sooner rather than later.
Being a successful man is actually a curse when it comes to women starting with the significant financial inequities in a relationship. If you enter in to a marriage and don't have kids with her, then you are even stupider as she will eventually get paid for providing you nothing. These men face the same problems as poorer men in that his wife or girlfriend is still looking for attention elsewhere and the disrespect is still likely there because women cannot be satisfied. The problem for the more successful man is that women who are with him are even better at hiding their behavior and are not likely to leave as soon. Successful men mistakenly think that because they are high value and provide a woman everything she needs that he is immune to having a wife or girlfriend who will cheat, disrespect him, or just behave badly day to day while he does all he can to build and maintain his financial empire. Becoming a successful man who takes care of a family and provides a wife with a nice, often stay at home lifestyle, is not easy. It is constant work with failure or loss always just around the corner. Women don't care because if you cant provide for her, she will likely find another man who can because she is good looking. No woman who is attractive or has giant breasts will ever lack a man no matter how badly she treats the men she interacts with in life. You can meet a woman who is gorgeous yet has been divorced 2-3 times before age 40 and she still has men trying to date her or even marry her simply because of her looks. Unattractive women will always say that men deserve the bad behavior they face from these pretty women because we choose our mates based on how they look while ignoring their character. This may be true but that is for another conversation. Successful men have access to pretty women and we make our decisions accordingly. Its a fact of life. Once these decisions are made, you still have to face her behavior and women know what the ramifications are if you decide to stand up to them or even leave.
Are you the man who is doing everything right that would allow you to have a great wife and family yet you are now contemplating divorce because your wife is behaving badly? You are going to work and achieving. Hopefully you haven't made the mistake of sharing your vulnerabilities with your wife because you are human who isn't always going to dominate life. She isn't going to lift you up and likely does not care. All she cares about is the families balance sheet and the appearance she gives off to her often low end friends who place her on a pedestal. As you work through the ups and downs of your professional life, even if you are still being a boss, your wife is still getting bored with you. She is getting attention because she is pretty. It might be at the gym she goes to after she drops off your kids at the private school. It may be the online meet up groups she joins because she has nothing to do all day and cleaning a house or helping with the yard is below her. She may also be the type of woman who is making friends online where she shares her sexual fantasies and talks dirty to strangers. She isn't coming to your office for lunch or wanting to meet up with you for sex in the middle of the day. You have slowly become an afterthought. She may greet you at home after work with a "Hi, how was your day" in a sultry voice looking as good as ever standing next to your perfect looking kids, but she gives you less attention than the credit card bill you slowly open showing how much she spends each month. Shes giving everyone else attention because you aren't there and she is a woman. Five years turns into ten turns into fifteen and its only the people she interacts with that changes while you grind it out in misery watching your life go away. She is so tired from her day or her late night computer activities that she isn't going to be the sexy wife you see in front of you or thought you married. Shes still acting sexy, just not with you.
How much time has passed for you seeing this day to day behavior by your wife? You are being faithful and ignoring the women who flirt with you at work or in public because you aren't the type of man to cheat on or disrespect your wife or family. Your wife isn't going to leave you unless it benefits her financially. No matter how pretty she is, if shes aged a bit or has a couple of kids, and you are making bank, she isn't going to find a richer man who will make her life noticeably better. Instead she will stay with you until the kids are grown and your 401k or real estate portfolio is bursting and she can take half or more and not have to work again. The Gray divorce is a nightmare but the longer you wait to take action, the more you will likely face it because she wants your money more than you as you get older. Divorce or a loveless marriage is inevitable for about 80% of people who do it so its best to escape young rather than think things will get better. They wont.
Your wife's bad behavior is right in front of you and you recognize it. Most men do nothing making up all sorts of excuses. The day to day activities, the secret conversations or texts on her hidden cell phone are more easily seen. Her sexual activities online or even in person with men you don't even know about have replaced the sex she used to give you. She cant hide the lies and deception because there are so many of them which have only increased in time. This causes her to drink more or increase her depression medication. She knows the divorce laws and it only emboldens her because she has kids and you have done well. The ball is in your court. Do you stay and keep working hard earning more and more or do you leave her now and face the consequences now knowing what you will lose? It is a no win situation but at some point your own peace of mind and self respect have come before money. While you will lose a lot of money when you divorce as a successful man, your job is to minimize the loss and accept the fact that is the trade for being able to marry a pretty big breasted woman that other men think they want to be with and show their envy when the see you with her even if they know your wife is a horrible person who disrespects her husband and marriage because has poor character and cant be content. You hope you can salvage a relationship with your kids as having them is the only reason any many should marry.
I faced this dilemma and instead of staying in a loveless sexless marriage where I was disrespected to the point she didn't even hide it because she didn't think I had the courage to leave because she was beautiful and we had two young kids. I could have stayed and been miserable and waited 15 years for the kids to age out. She wasn't going to divorce me until the time was right as long as she could get away with her behavior. Whether I could catch her cheating didnt change anything. She had long ago ceased being a wife. The disrespect and contempt for me for being a nice provider type man was only going to get worse. Attention from me didn't matter. She wanted attention from other men and female friends who would just fawn over her and her perfect looking kids. These women also wanted her marriage to fail since they were also failed miserable women. My wife couldn't see past the attention. Women like my wife divorce their successful husbands when we are older and this is the most painful type of divorce. I saw my future. Most men stay in these bad marriages until the wife decides to leave them or until they die knowing as they take their last breath that the wife does not care, you cant do anything about it, and her first call following your death is to your life insurance company.
I somehow found the courage to leave my wife after only 8 years of marriage and two young kids. The process was heartbreaking and the court system was not my friend. The money lost was off the charts. The parental alienation I faced was just as bad. I was made to pay because I ended it on my terms not hers. She didn't think I had the courage to do it because I was a quiet man who let most things go, even her bad behavior. It is a process I didn't want but my self respect had some value over the money I had to give her despite her addictions and disrespect to our marriage. As bad it was, with all these years to reflect, and now that I have progressed into middle age, it was much better than it would have been had I stayed married for 18 or 28 years. I made the right decision.
If you are a man facing a similar situation and you see what is going on, talk to a lawyer who has lived it. Get advice regarding the pros and cons of leaving now versus staying until she decides you have made enough for her financially to leave. You will lose no matter what you choose and your wife knows that which only emboldens her behavior as time passes. She is living on her terms, not the marriages. You will will just keep working. Divorce is about minimizing the financial and emotional damage.
Ill teach you how to make the right decision and get the courage that you don't think you have but know you must get.
Be honest with yourself and take some action. You aren't getting any younger.
I am sure most of you have been sitting at home because your employer has shut down the company you work for or your business simply cannot function because of state mandated orders. If you are lucky enough to go to work, you are likely earning less than you were before the state started trying to enact martial law. As someone who goes to work just to keep a schedule and some sense of normalcy, income and business is down. As bad as my situation is, there are people out there who are really hurting and businesses are being shut down for a variety of reasons. Even people who store food and try to save for emergencies are seeing their personal and professional resources being quickly depleted. While the loss of lives to a virus is sad, it is part of life and to see people I know and my country's strong economy destroyed by our own actions and poor decision making is a real tragedy. If you think you are bad off, take a step back and realize the number of people whose lives are forever altered when it was not necessary. The fact we are acting like sheep is scary and I applaud the people who are still doing all they can to work while also acting smart in terms of interaction and taking care of their own health and those they care about.
While all of this is going on, the government is saying people who qualify will get $1,200.00 or some other amount. When this will happen, how little this will help most people, and what happens next we don't know, but one of the caveats of getting a check is just another reminder of how society and the court system has discarded men and eliminated any reason to get married much less have a traditional marriage and children. Did you know that if you owe back child support, you are not eligible for this check? You cant even get the money applied to your back child support so your children can get it. If you are a man who has lost his job in this mess, you still have to send your child support check. The court system has shut down and men, who pay 90% of the child support in this country, and who rarely are granted equal custody in court decided custody cases, are bearing the financial burden of the problems of the world and in families that are broken through no fault of their own. While evictions might be deferred and power companies ordered not to shut off peoples power, which benefits the single mom reliant on child support or her job, there are no orders saying a man can skip his child support payments because he has lost his job or ordered not to go to work because of a virus that may not be causing more deaths than the flu causing society to be shut down.
This is just another reminder that if you are a married man where you are the main provider while your wife stays at home with the kids or works at her leisure, you are a dying breed. Your wife holds a hammer over your head every day that if she decides to use, she can destroy your family, cause you to lose everything you have worked for, and make you a financial slave until your kids are out of high school(in some states its colleges. yikes!!). If she decides to do this for whatever reason, the court system will support it and do all they can to support her to make her your financial equal despite the pre marriage work and efforts not being the same.
Let me give you an example.....
A man educates himself and builds a business before he gets married. He takes out student or business loans and slowly works to building it to the point where it becomes profitable. Whether it be his focus on his business or education, his slow developing confidence as a young man, or just the inability to meet someone to marry while he was doing this(the importance of marrying young and difficulty getting a young woman to give up her whoreish behavior at a young age is discussed elsewhere), if the man is traditional in his beliefs like his parents were, he is still of the mindset that he gets married, the wife stays at home with the kids, and he takes care of things while she offers the support of a wife like the mans mother did for his father. Until the court and legal system endorsed no fault marriage and adopted feminist ideals, traditional marriage was the backbone of this country and men saw how this was the best way because of the childhood they had relative to friends whose parents were never married or who were always working too much making creating a family home environment much harder. The man knew this but as smart as he was, he was not aware of the divorce laws and didn't contemplate the ramifications of a failed family life. His father never showed him because he was from the traditional generation mindset and divorce was not a part of his life. All the man knew is that he was glad his parents stayed married and had a relatively stable home life despite being of lower middle class income status. You used to not need to be rich to have a traditional family.
The man builds his business and starts to earn money. He begins paying his loans off and as luck would have it, he meets a beautiful woman he falls for who wants to be a stay at home mom and exudes traditional family and values. Her work history was spotty however and she had no real career. Maybe her motives were not genuine and she saw the man as a wallet. The man didnt care as he wanted a family and to do what his dad did which was show he can take care of a wife and kids. The woman moves into the mans home and they get married and build their family. The woman soon has a baby and tries to work a job from home and has all the support she needs from her employer and her family to watch the kid, allow her to earn, and enjoy the home life. The man continues to work hard and earns and saves money. The wife has everything she needs. She soon decides to stop working and stays at home. While the man is working, his wife does not take care of the house. It is messy and dirty and the wife does not care. The man wanting more kids is lucky enough to get another child before the wife says no more kids as its too much work. I wonder how man women with kids who also work would want her life. She was showing her husband how her hammer worked and she was using it. He wasn't going to do anything in her opinion. She knew the divorce laws as she had prior experience. The couple become distant as the man continues to earn from his hard work while still encouraging the wife to go back to school or work to get out of the house while he watches the kids. She is fully supported to improve her life. The wife instead prefers to spend her days going a gym and playing on a computer. As time passes the couple become more distant and its clear the wife gets more excited to go to the gym in the morning while someone watches her kids and when the man comes home from work, her free time is spent on a computer until 3am despite requests from the husband to come to bed earlier. Her cell phone is glued to her body. The man is a bit naive. He didn't see the obvious issues like he should have because he came from a family where mom and dad seemed to have a respectful marriage. He probably saw them and just ignored them because he didnt want his family to break up.
The man now had a successful business and was making and saving money. The wife was ignoring him completely and was spending all of her mornings at the gym and all of her evenings on the computer. Her wedding ring hadn't been on her finger since they got back from the wedding and all signs pointed to the fact she was likely having some inappropriate relationships. What can the man do about it? If he confronts the wife about her behavior he is dared to do something about it. The wife has the hammer and she is wielding it without even having to lift a finger. The man educates himself and learns that he has to give up atleast half of what he has earned since he got married(the timing of it is crazy in that he gets no credit for paying back his loans and earning no money as he built his business before he got married) and will be stuck with child support for the next 15 years plus alimony. The longer the things stay the way they are the more alimony she gets, the more the dividable assets increase, and the more the wife lives a life or leisure of computers and online and gym boyfriends. The wife also knows that if she holds out for 10 years of marriage, she gets the mans social security benefits the minute he drops dead from stress and anger at the blatant disrespect of the wife enabled by the law.
When a man is faced with this situation what is he supposed to do? Stay in the marriage and be devalued and have no physical or personal interaction while he pays for a woman to live how she wants knowing that at any time he could come home and see the house emptied and her gone or just waking up one day being told by her she wants a divorce. The other option is leave as soon as possible and cut your losses. The man decided to cut his losses(before 10 years too!!) and leave as he saw the wife stealing and hiding his things while he was at work and he had no control over his environment. His house was a pig sty and he was paying for it. She could also at any time say he assaulted her or threatened her and he was off to jail or at a further disadvantage in court for support and custody. He knew the best answer was to leave and he did it in the best way he knew how. The failure of a mentor or a lawyer to give him real advice before he left cost him significant amounts of money but he did the best he could and made the right decision to leave. He had to cut out and kill the cancer before it killed him.
After he leaves, he slowly watches all his assets go away. His wife denies him equal access to his kids and hires a lawyer to offer him 2 days a month visitation. He suffers in emotional silence. The wife plays victim and is given child support and has no income allocated to her in the calculation despite having a college degree, physical beauty, and the ability to get a job earning decent money. The husbands business also suffers due to changes in the law and the overall difficulty of it. The back and forth fight goes on for over four years over money and custody. The man ultimately wins equal custody of his kids not because he is a great man or father. He only got it because his wife was spending her life on a computer writing fan faction in massive volumes with Harry Potter characters having graphic sex and having characters named after he children. This wasn't a little story of a bored housewife with a fantasy, it was a woman so addicted to the computer and Harry Potter fantasies that she wrote thousands of pages of it and even incorporated he own small children into the stories. The man found it all and it took a giant trolley to wheel it all into the court hearing over custody that he had to go through because he wanted equal custody of his kids. The perfect housewife image was not what is appeared to be and the man discovering all these writings only affirmed his desire to leave to be right. It didn't get his money or family back however. If the man had done this stuff while being married, he would be getting supervised visits with his children and would be a laughingstock in his work place. Despite the evidence, the wife made the man go to trial to win equal custody of his kids because her lawyers told her that equal custody was not going to happen when a traditional marriage breaks up and the wife is used to being at home with the kids. Who cares that the wife had sexual fantasies and wrote stories about children all day and night for years while the man worked to take care of his family.
The court system and the wife were not done with the man even after equal custody was decided reluctantly by a judge who berated the man in court and didnt believe in equal custody. He had no choice in this case as the wife wrote child porn in massive volumes with her own kids as characters. Oh what that Judge would have done if the man had done that. The wife was allowed to go back to school and get a 2 year degree in the health care field after they gave her two years off. She did nothing for two years. She didn't work and just hung out with her gym friends, her mom friends, and her kids all while trying to alienate her kids from the dad. How she explained not getting primary custody to her family was a question the man had as they never came to any court hearing to support her because she probably didn't want her fan fiction being read in their presence. She appeared to be the perfect housewfie and mom and any talk of sex by the man openly offended her. If he only knew what she was really was. She eventually got back to school and 4 years after the marriage split up she finally got a job. Amazingly she timed this to when the alimony order ran out. Why work when you are getting alimony and a court wont allocate income to you when calculating child support. Despite equal custody time, the man still had to pay substantial money each month to the wife. She had her steady income in a field that was always going to have jobs available. The mans business was up and down and there were months where he didn't make his overhead. He still had to pay child support and deal with demands from the wife from $5.00 for school supplies to medical costs. He suffered in silence as the values of a traditional man he had and were raised with were costing him everything.
As time passed the mans business slowed and the wife continued to earn a steady income. The man could have gone back into court and asked for a reduction but when looking at the costs and how he was treated why would he want to as his character of saving would be attacked. Then the country shuts down and the mans business falls further. With the courthouse closed, he isn't going to be able to get in for a hearing to possibly get his support reduced. The wife continues to improve her income and has a steady job even when the country shuts down. She continues to alienate teen daughters trying to get them to live with her full time so she can get more money. The man is under constant threat of being hauled back into court despite one failed attempt by the wife to change the equal custody order. His daughters are learning they have their own little hammer and can threaten to go live with mom knowing it will cost the man even more money. The alienation is working and he has to see it as the kids become more defiant to dad and grandmas traditional yet very relaxed discipline. The mom has no problem with blue hair and black fingernails. The man isn't benefiting from the wifes consistent income post divorce even though he paid for her education, didnt get reimbursed for his hard work pre marriage, and had to give his assets including his house he bought before he married to his wife while she was addicted to the computer, the gym, and made him look like a fool on a daily basis.
This story may seem extreme but its real and factual. If you think your wife is this perfect woman, go check her computer and see how closely she guards her cell phone or even has a second phone to call the people that she is hiding from her husband. In addition to this man, there are many others dealing with these issues on a smaller and larger scale. The Governor of the State of North Carolina has now ordered a Statewide shutdown for non essential employees. There are men that are now losing their jobs or will be off work for awhile with no income. The temporary and permanent damage is off the charts. Its mostly men who suffer. Yes there are women who are abandoned and men who don't pay child support but you can bet the system is in place to protect these women. If a man cant work due to something like this virus stuff we are now facing, he does not get a break on his support.
Traditional marriage is gone in this country and it is a shame. These women who are now hating the fact they have to work when they realize how great it is or was to be a stay at home mom are becoming alcoholics, pill addicts, or women who try to fantasize about a world with children having sex to get away from what they think is an unfulfilled life as a housewife. We are still waiting for some men like the man described in this story to age out of the traditional marriage model. Some will suffer in silence until they die or until the kids get out of the house and some like this man will say enough is enough and walk away from horrible women who are empowered by the court system to destroy the traditional marriage model. No young man even considering marriage today has a reason to have traditional values unless he has no problem with hypergamous woman holding a hammer over his head which encourages her bad behavior.
With the bad behavior of women and the court system who supports alimony, no fault marriage, inequal custody time, and degrading of men who dare speak up in court to fight this injustice, combined with the education men are now providing each other, there will be no traditional marriage in this country. This is why we are being destroyed as a culture and society and it is solely the fault of women and the court system. Smart men who still get married will do it young only because they want kids and hopefully they will learn they need to do it young or never do it. Traditional men like the one in this story are the backbone of this country but will die out as their experiences are shared in a society where it is not so hard to find out what is going on. Any man who has married in the past 5-10 years can no longer use the excuse they were not informed of the dangers even if they themselves had no father figure or mentor or who even came from a traditional values background.
While you are worrying about this virus being used to reshape our country, think of the virus that is the court system and the women who use it to their advantage to destroy men. It isn't going to be fixed and we are now a society where divorce and broken families are the norm and people who stay married for life are looked at with curiosity today the way people who got divorced 50-60 years ago were shamed by society.
Tread carefully men and don't be the guy in this story.