Men are naive right until the very end. We refuse to see what is right in front of us. This lack of vision often leaves us scrambling to save our hard earned money and relationship with our children. We get married and think that by being a good husband and father it is going to be enough to keep our wives loyal and happy. Being better than 95% of men out there is not enough. The woman wants the fantasy of a 100% perfect man, despite her flaws. The fact she has a vagina makes her believe she is entitled to this fantasy. She is constantly looking for it while she pretends to be happy in her current situation. The affirmation from her that you are a great dad and husband in the early stages of the marriage are hollow words designed to keep a man in his place until she finds a man who she believes in her mind is better than you. There is nothing you can do to stop this mindset and only when she presents her motives to you, either directly or indirectly, are you faced with having to make decisions, often without the help of a lawyer, that determine your financial future, mental health, and relationship with your kids.
I continue to be amazed at the men who do not see what their wife is doing behind their backs or when they do see it, they believe it is not as bad as it is or they can fix it. Women will do all the things that show they are no longer loyal to the family or marriage and will often present a man with a separation agreement drawn up by a lawyer, the type of lawyer who gets off like a nymphomaniac, drawing up agreements that deprive men of their assets and equal access to their children all while taking ridiculous fees from their female clients convincing them that men will just sign it without a fight. Sadly many men do in the fog of a dramatic change to their lives that they do not want despite the woman doing all but having sex with a boyfriend right in front of them.
In order to get men to doubt themselves, these women convince their husbands that they are leaving and want a divorce because the man is an alcoholic, she feels threatened by him including false accusations of physical violence added to the verbal abuse she say she has been suffering for years. As these accusations are being levied against the man, despite none of them being true, the woman is plotting how she will use the kids as leverage to get what she wants in a separation agreement, to keep the man she saw as a good father from seeing his kids equally, or both. Women are emboldened because they know the court system supports this behavior. If you want equal access to your kids, these women tell you to sign what their academically orgasmic lawyer has prepared at the cost of thousands of dollars before one foot is even set foot in a courtroom.
Men have to be taught early on to spot the signs of a disloyal wife. They also have to be taught that once a woman no longer wants to be married to you, she will be a completely different person than the one you married and will have no problem making accusations or efforts to set you up to the point where you could be arrested for domestic violence, destroying your chance at a fair custody outcome or even lose your professional license. Women will do this all while staying in the same home as you with no real plans to leave either because you provide a lifestyle for her that maybe she cant earn on her own or because she wants to drive the man crazy to the point where he will leave the home and she can play victim to get higher alimony or an increased chance at primary custody. I will never forget thinking I was doing everything right as a husband and father only to find out that not only was my wife spending her whole marriage on the computer writing fan fiction porn with Harry Potter characters having sexual interaction and having characters in her stories named after our daughters, but she had placed recording devices in our house to either provoke me into violence or to get me to threaten her or do something that could jeopardize everything I worked for knowing one mistake out of frustration could get me or any man to raise a hand or make a threat causing me to be hauled off to jail. I had invited her into my home sfter we dated for awhile, paid all her bills while she stayed at home, supported all her endeavors while never cheating on her or acting even the slightest way threatening toward her, and that was the thanks I got. Thanks to our court system she now owns the home free and clear despite never making one payment towards its purchase or upkeep. By doing the right thing and handling your business as a man, you are labeled a simp or a beta provider. Are we really shocked at the ongoing spiraling downward of families and the increased divorce rate? Women have all the incentive and power to destroy men who simply wanted a wife and kids.
Luckily in North Carolina, we have the alienation of affection laws which can often be a weapon to use against a woman who has gone off the rails likely because she has lost interest in her husband and either wants a fling with a new man or thinks she met her unicorn and is willing to throw away her family to get it. As women accuse a man of being an alcoholic because he has a beer or two after a hard physical days work, or that he is verbally or physically abusive because he does not kiss her ass 100% of the time, this is often being done because she has the real secret. Shes cheating on her husband. If you can catch her and meet the elements the law requires, you can often gain some advantage if you catch her early enough. If her boyfriend has deep pockets, it makes it even better. Trying to prove infidelity and alination of affection isnt always easy but you can spot the signs and start gathering evidence. Ger her cell phone, get access to her computer, and if you have the funds, get a PI to follow her. The evidence will be obtained more often than you think. If you wait too long as most men do, the wife lawyers up and is given instructions that make it harder to prove and gather evidence. The more a mans wife accuses him of things the more likely she is the one causing the problems.
Getting advice early on is the key to resolving a divorce on the most favorable terms. Ignoring the obvious and thinking you can fix things only causes a man more harm. When a woman is done with you, you need to be able to spot the signs and get away from her. She isnt coming back to you emotionally ever again even if you convince her to stay or come back to you physically. They are pros at disguising their feelings and motives. They may not act much different, and despite being the ones that file 80% of the divorces, they will only do so when they have their new man lined up or the belief that by leaving she has a good chance or getting an asset or monthly payout that allows her to live as she wants even if the husband has to move into an apartment and barely be able to pay his bills. She wants you buried to hide her own bad behavior and does not care if you are the father of her children. She is self centered and vindictive because she hates herself. Whether its a porn addiction that wastes her life day in and day out or the hypergamous infidelity based on her insecurities, she needs someone else to suffer for her life choices. It is her husband who must face the penalty and he is too often too blind to see it.
Change your mindset gentleman and see what is going on with your spouse and take action. If you roll over and do what she wants as the fog of reality sets in, you will regret it years down the road when you understand things after the fact. The longer the delay the more likely she gets away with what she is doing. Call a lawyer and get real advice from someone who has been there and not someone just looking to empty your wallet while doing nothing other than to file papers with a court while telling you to agree to an unequal custody arrangement because they have experience and know what a Judge will do when it comes to your kids. Your wife may want to destroy you mentally and financially but don't choose a lawyer who will only make it easier for her to do it. Get your evidence and fight.
fIf your marriage is on its way out, odds are your wife is cheating on you. Sadly many men, myself included, couldnt see what is right in front of their face. Whether we can verify it or prove it is not so easy, but we need to get better at spotting the signs so we can end the marriage ourselves. As blue pilled and simp as I was, it was pretty obvious to me that my wifes interests were with other men. The signs are really obvious yet I have men contact me today unwilling to accept the fact their perfect soccer mom, stay at home with the kids wife, is actually cheating on him. She can be cheating on you and may not have any plans to leave or divorce you so it is up to you as a man to spot the bad behavior and act on it and atleast save some of your pride and self respect.
I remember when my wife started spending her weekends all day at the gym and hanging out with a running club she had joined. I worked all week while she stayed at home and watched the kids. I really appreciated the time I could spend with my two daughters both under five at the time. Instead of wondering why my wife didnt want to spend time with me and our kids, I was happy for the time with my daughters who my wife did her best to limit my time with during the week. I was oblivious to the plan she had that someday she would put in to motion when she was ready.
My wife was absolutely gorgeous and had the perfect body type I liked. Thick and curvy in all the right places. I couldnt compliment her enough when we were married and even pregnant she looked perfect. This was not a woman who exercised or did anything relatively athletic while we dated, after we were married and soon after she had kids. You could not design a more attractive pregnant woman. There wasnt the slightest bit of body shaming and I felt like I was extremely lucky to have a wife who looked like she did. Soon after the kids didnt require 24 hour care, she was volunteering at a gym and joined a running club. I understood she wanted to get out of the house and see some adults so I tried to wonder why a thick girl who never mentioned wanting to lose weight would suddenly take up jogging or spend time in a gym training for 5k runs. I did not want to rock the boat but it did not make sense even long before I woke up and left her. Someone as tall and thick as she was is not built for running more than leisurely if at all. I was impressed someone with giant breasts could run far at all. The planter faciatis soon appeared and she had a walking boot on her leg. I thought maybe she would quit running but no she tried to run even more. She certainly lost weight but was never skinny. What she was was gone all day. Once I realized it just didnt make sense I called her out on it.
This was the rare time I got any emotion from her and she was very defensive. It was like I knew her secret. I didnt push it because I was a simp who wanted my family and part of me hoped for the third kid. This was not the first or the last bit of behavior that created significant levels of contempt I had for someone who was beyond disrespectful to the marriage. It was not about controlling her as I did all I could to be sympathetic to a mom who was with two little kids all day. She got out and had friends but certain things didnt make sense. The straw that would break the camels back to cause me to divorce her would come later but like many men who talk to me today asking for advice unconvinced that their wife might be cheating. I can only shake my head like I shake my head at the man I was 10 years ago watching all this stuff while I continued to line her pockets and pay her credit card while she enjoyed the fun she wanted. The thought of trying to catch her cheating or thinking she might actually be cheating did not even cross my mind. I would never put a PI on her. The website I would later find with her being the pet of a black man named The Real Mr. Pac Man still didnt help it sink in that my perfect stay at home soccer mom would cheat on me. I can only look back at myself and laugh as despite life experience with similar type women who professed to love me and dated me for in excess of 5 years would do such things often right in front of you. In addition to looking back realizing how stupid I was, my wife of 8 years got alimony because I couldnt catch her cheating which I should have been able to do. The guarding of the cell phone and the weekends away from the family were put on ignore because my mindset was not of that of divorce or the fact that I could be cheated on was even in my mindset even when it was. It is hard to explain but when I woke up with a red pill shoved up my ass just by revelation and not anyone telling me anything, I was glad I got out of marriage at age 42 and not 52 or 62 with lifetime alimony.
TIP OF THE DAY: Catch your wife cheating on you and you do not have to pay alimony.
While the stay at home wife dynamic has been destroyed by hypergamy and and the family court system, there is still a generation of men in their 50s and older who have them and divorce with a stay at home wife is expensive. If you think i paid a ton in alimony for being married 8 years, imagine being married 20 or 30. Its like having a gun held to your head knowing if you leave, you are an old man who loses everything he worked for or a man who must stay married to a woman who knows the law and will continue to devalue you because she can. Contempt spins out of control once a woman tries to destroy a man because she knows he cant just leave her without consequences. The financial cost to me leaving my marriage was huge but the loss 10 or 20 years later would have been the final nail in the coffin of a life of disappointment when it came to women and relationships so I took control. Before all these videos and websites with red pill male advice appeared 3 or so years ago, men had nowhere to go to get information that every man should have now long before they even get married.
Every man has a different story about their wifes behavior and what brings them to me to discuss whether to divorce their wife or whether their wife is cheating on them. I feel bad for them and want to shake them. How do you not see what is going on? How did I not see it when I was going through it. The stories are different but they all have same pattern. Whether it be the new activity with a man so she can spend time with him despite the fact she isnt even in to the activity. If I thought my beautiful thick wife jogging to the point of injury made no sense, there are stories of women who cant climb a flight of stairs taking rock climbing classes, liberal women who want guns banned suddenly becoming experts on guns going to the range, or just the clubbing trips with their white girlfriends to see AFG Duck ramble his way through an underground rap concert. The guarding of the phone or multiple cell numbers are standard. All this underhanded stuff is going on while the man is working, taking on most of the household chores, and picking up kids, and making the money for the home. My parents generation handled it differently when it came to the Father Knows Best stay at home family dynamic. The women were likely cheating but hid it better. They knew how to fake love for their unsuspecting husbands, and most importantly there were no cell phones and social media where women could get easy attention despite being married to a good man. The contempt still existed but with smoking and sexless marriages, the men dropped dead at 60 and had life insurance so the woman got the assets and spent her later years celibate without being bothered while going on cruises with her other woke friends, or turning in to a whore using the money her husband spent earning for 40 years while she stayed at home with the kids. Ill never forget the stories my wife would tell me of her dad who spent a career working for the same company only to die a slow death getting cancer and dying a slow death as he neared retirement. Her mom who never worked got the money, now lives in a giant house, and manages a trust all while she goes on cruises and lives leisurely sending her kids money as needed. What did dad enjoy other than a death? This stay at home wife, man dies after a life of slavery and disrespect type of life is on its way out but its still something we see and it is important that young men, all men, learn how to spot the obvious infidelity hints their wives are giving them early on and take action.
I never caught my wife cheating and didnt follow up to try. I can blame myself. I can blame my lawyer. That does not mean it didnt happen and I would bet that it did. My lack of following up on it long before I ever took the steps to divorce her cost me quite a bit of alimony when a little work likely would have found out that she was screwing some dude she met at the gym or going running with or both all while living her fantasies on the computer late at night with Mr Pac Man with her phone tucked down the front of her pants knowing it was some place she stopped letting me years ago. I now try to get men to see what I failed to see and take action to make the decision to divorce a bit easier. You cant control when a woman does not want to be with you or have sex with you, but you can be a man and let her know that you wont tolerate it no matter how pretty she is and how many kids you have with her. You are the prize yet so many men do not have the confidence to see that. What is interesting is that many men, myself included, who dominate and succeed in every aspect of their life outside marriage, are total blue pilled losers trained by a wife who thinks that because they have giant breasts and give up sex once in awhile can do anything they want. We cannot let them.
No matter how long you have been married, if you are considering divorce, ask yourself why. You know something isnt right. Take action or be defeated emotionally and financially. The longer you wait the worse it will be for you.
Ive been there. I can help.