Awareness is one of the best traits a man can have. The sooner a man becomes aware of himself and others around him, the less mistakes in life he makes while also avoiding long term interaction with low quality women and people. Awareness is usually obtained through our experience which resulted from maximum damage because of bad choices whether it be to our physical or mental health or our pocketbook. Every man should have a father or at least a male role model who will teach him the things in life that are needed to get the awareness necessary to live a full happy life.
Sadly we have gone from a society based on the marriage model with mom and dad both in the home doing what they were both expected to do to raise and protect their family to broken homes where fewer kids have male role models and too many are being raised by single moms who think they are better at raising children then even top level men who any child would be blessed to have as a father. Each of these models have created problems for men and this needs to be fixed because women are more than happy to ruin a family for their personal gain now more so than ever.
I was raised in the marriage model. My parents stayed married their whole lives and my dad was awesome. He did everything he could for me and gave me opportunities he did not have because his hard work allowed my mom to be at home and be the emotional support that we need day to day growing up. This balance combined with an instilled work ethic helped me essentially to turn out like my dad but with more opportunity. For as good as he was, my father did not teach me the ways of women and what I needed to do from a social standpoint to develop interaction skills needed to be better than most of the kids and young people I would meet. This is not a fault of his its just he was a dad in a time in the world where there was no internet and he was taught to work hard say as little as possible no matter who did him wrong. His background with no father didn't help. My mother was not like today's women in that she was not looking for someone better and for the most part respected my dad because he did what he was supposed to do as the man of the house. Were they both happy in their marriage for the duration? Probably not. However, they did what they believed was the right thing to do when it came to their family. This mindset is not part of today's world like it was 40-50 years ago.
The modern day family model is filled with information about social interaction because women no longer value men like my father. They are more self centered, more liberal, and always looking for better even when married to good men. With more divorces and women benefiting from them, families are destroyed and kids are left to their own because of fatherless households. Women who behave in a way that promotes divorce are still marrying men that were sons of men like my father who were not told the way of the new modern day woman. Divorce rapes are therefore up and men are getting knowledge too late. They are not able to have full interaction with their own sons who now rely on the internet and men they don't know to teach them about women often leading to disaster and uncertainty. There are now going to be less marriages for at least a generation until men can educate themselves from a young age and learn how to manage female behavior while making life choices to give them a best chance at a family life. Men must have the awareness of what to do when their wife goes off the rails for the same reasons most of them do at some point. I didnt expect my gorgeous wife to be a fan fiction porn addict and there was nothing I could have done but I certainly wished I had to the knowledge how to face the end of my marriage rather than stick my head in the sand.
If you are a young man without a real father figure who will talk to you about everything you need to know and are relying on people on the internet to get information, make sure you are getting information from men who are giving advice that is not detrimental to you building a family or promoting male hatred of women at a young age. For example, if your source of information is a man who got married and had kids is telling you not to marry or have kids, then I would not listen to that person. If a man has never married and has no kids and thinks he is the smartest man in the room because he does not have to deal with divorce, child support, and has all this time to fish and play with his dog, then that is not normal no matter how messed up this world gets. This person simply chose not to play a big portion of life and he should not be giving advice to anyone when it comes to women and family.
I was divorce raped for a lot of reasons and while I am certainly filled with hate and resentment towards the woman I married, instead of just turning into a bitter person who tells everyone not to marry or have kids, I wanted to provide insight in a way that young men can get genuine realistic advice while also helping men who are now in a bad marriage figure out the best way to leave it and deal with emotions of it while also maintaining the strength to fight for equal custody of their kids. This will continue to be my goal because we as men need to develop the next generation of men to handle these women that have gotten out of control in terms of the way they see things and how they have devalued men. My lack of knowledge and a father figure to teach me what I needed to be aware of was a big reason I didn't marry well into my thirties thus setting me up to get destroyed by a woman who was also in her thirties, previously married, and unable to pair bond making me nothing but a wallet to pay for our kids she wanted me to have no part in raising once the veil of who she was came off. I don't want any man to have to go through that even if I feel very lucky to have been able to even get married to a pretty woman who wasn't a single mom which is what is waiting for most men who delay marriage.
To help you understand what I am trying to teach men before marriage, men who are married, and men now getting ready to go through the divorce wars, I am going to give you a brief outline of what men of all ages need to be aware of while growing up and what to consider as they navigate life and age so they can maximize their happiness of life without being a bitter non participating type because they read the negativity that exists in the manosphere and from divorce lawyers who tell you to settle your battle and except 4 overnights a month with your kid so they can bank a quick fee.
From Birth until age 18
Every young man should be taught the importance of social skills and the maximizing of their physicality from the day he can walk. He should be put into social groups with other kids and wear the best stylistic clothes he can while making sure he is groomed well at all times. Sports should be emphasized and young men should be able to talk to every type of person with comfort. This does not mean you have tons of friends or hang out with people that don't share your values. It means you should not be afraid of people from all different backgrounds and races. Learn who others are cultivate friendships while avoiding people who do not meet your standard or who are into bad things. Young men should learn habits of working out and staying in shape. How this is handled varies but it should be a part of your life even if you don't have the talent to make a varsity team. Keep playing all sports and keep getting stronger. You will fit somewhere and you will maximize your talent and enjoy a better social circle. If sports are not your thing, try learning an instrument and forming a band. Learn languages. Start a business selling stuff on Ebay. Learn how to make and save money. Do not drink or smoke and have the courage to be different by telling people that you dont drink or wont smoke that joint. While you need to enjoy life you don't need to be eating junk food all day while you play video games or surf the internet in chat rooms while sitting in your room all day often not showering before you go to school in army clothes or dressed in black purposely isolating yourself at a time when you need to interact and learn about people. While we all played video games as kids, today they are spending way too much time on them and are not outside being athletic, playing their music, or learning a language. How you spend your time will vary but you want to be doing things that make you appear attractive to women and make men want to be your friend. Its a true art to do these things without advertising yourself and becoming arrogant. If you achieve all these things with a look at me attitude you will certainly attract people but they will be the wrong people. Humility, strength, and off the chart talent should be the goal of every young man and if you are a father of one, you need to know how to teach your son all these things.
(We will discuss how to be a top notch father of daughters in another post as I am the father of two of them and they are awesome in large part because of the knowledge I give them).
Good habits are formed young and if you are a young man, it is not too early to learn these things so you can develop the social skills that are ultimately going to lead to good health, happiness, and give you best chance of finding a good woman to be your wife and have kids.
While the ideas noted for a younger man seem like common sense, as you get into your twenties, there is a much more wide range of views on how to live your life and how to interact with women. There are men that will tell you to sleep with as many women as possible, don't even think of getting married until after 30, and travel the world. If you are going to have a career they say do something that you love rather than something that makes you a living or even rich. You don't want to waste the prime of your life.
I don't agree and my thoughts while simple, are much different and sadly formed off of my own regrets and lack of desire to be social because I did not do a good job in my teen years forcing myself to be more athletically involved and more social despite having the skills to do so. If you don't develop good habits as a young man you will delay important decisions as you get older and end up in bad positions even if everything falls into place later in life.
When you are in early your twenties you need to get a four year college degree. There are those who say college is worthless now and all it does is create debt etc. This may be true but a solid education can be obtained inexpensively which for most people help you get better opportunity. You can work and go to school but get that degree. You don't go to a no name college and get a degree in basket weaving for 25k a year in tuition. If you can get into a top college don't run away from that opportunity. If you can get into Duke or an Ivy League you go. I would take out those loans. For most kids you go to community college for a couple years and transfer to a good state school if you aren't yet finding path. A four year degree with a quality major from North Carolina State is well worth the price and even a little debt but creativity can cause you to graduate debt free even if you dont have the college experience your parents did. If you aren't that type for college, learn a skill and go to trade school. Get a plumbing license and learn how to run a business. You can get rich with these skills. There are lots of paths to take and most kids aren't sure what they want to do. Get your college degree and don't take out huge loans if you can avoid it and do not go to a no name private school with crazy tuition. If you have a talent or invent a product that requires full time work and you can make big money, don't go to college now. You can go later. You are the exception. Maximize that opportunity. My point is don't skip college because people are telling you not to go because of debt or that degrees are worthless. Have a plan. If you are like most kids just get your degree and sort things later. Youth is on your side.
Another piece of advice I give young men is to get married young if you can. This is made easier if you developed the social skills and confidence growing up with the guidance of a good father. If you spent your first 18 years inside not keeping yourself clean and just being a fat loser, you aren't ready for marriage as a younger man. However if you had a father or mentor teach you what to do when young, then you will understand what I am saying.
Getting married at a young age for a man makes sense for a multitude of reasons unless you do not want kids. If you don't want kids, don't ever get married. If you do, have them young and be glad you found a woman you love who wants to do the same. You fall in love when you are young, not when you are old. Getting married is not an easy task at a young age in today's world so don't think it does not require awareness to spot the young lady that sees things like you do. Remember women are at their peak sexual marketplace value in their twenties. If you are an older guy reading this, think of all the beautiful girls you knew as a younger man. They aren't around anymore and while you are waiting in to your thirties to marry they are spending their twenties having a lot of fun and marry you because they need your security. They aren't going to pair bond with you in their thirties after having sex with hundreds of guys in their twenties.
I fell in love with a gorgeous girl when I was 18. I was not mature the way I should have been even if I was considered mature by others. That girl loved me too even if other issues existed that should have ended the relationship long before we graduated college where marriage was discussed but I wasn't mature enough to push for as maybe I should have. Love makes you want to put out an effort. Would we have ended up divorced if we had married ? Probably. This likelihood is no more likely than if I had married her in my thirties. If she had waited that long she wouldn't be what she was in her twenties and as we age, my sexual marketplace value goes up while hers goes down and the chance of divorce rape goes up. Do not think for a minute that you need to wait to get married at 35 and some 22 year old will pick you. She wont but if she does, its because she has learned how to divorce rape at a young age not because you are some awesome catch who did everything right. Most people marry those near their own age for the first time. If you can meet a beautiful girl whose youth and ability to love matches yours, get married and build a life. If you think life is about spending your twenties sleeping with a lot of women it is not. If you can lock down a pretty girl who you love, you do it. Hopefully you are marrying someone of quality and you need be careful with your choices but if you meet one that is good, don't let the relationship die because you believe you are too young to marry and have a family.
Once you get married, don't be afraid to have kids. Get it done. Yes you want to enjoy the fun things of youth with just your spouse but if you are a man who wants kids and you feel you were lucky enough to get married to a girl who sees things the same as you do, have your kids and deal with all the economic and maturity issues that come with having kids in your twenties versus your thirties. You will have fun as a family doing things. Will you be a better dad in your thirties? Maybe. However, if you build your life right, you can be a good parent at a young age. Remember you are having kids with a woman while she is in her prime and capable of love. You are the lucky one. Most girls in their twenties look their best and love attention. They don't want to marry. If you found a quality one that will marry you, do not hesitate and have your kids.
Getting married in your twenties does not mean it will last and it does not mean there will be no problems because you are young and in love. What is does mean beyond the physical is also the economic. If you are getting married at any age, assume you will get divorced and begin to prepare for it and protect yourself. For all the ways you can do that, it is much easier to do when you don't have anything. While you want to make money as soon as possible, odds are you will be finishing school, building a business, or in the early stages of your career while in your twenties. Your bank roll will be low in your twenties. As you move into your thirties, the kids are getting older and can be more self sufficient which allows your wife to grow her career balancing the income or if not, you are that much closer to the end of child support years when the divorce happens in your mid to late thirties. If you divorce in a typical time frame that divorce happens, your financial payout will be less if you marry and have your kids young. You will also be young enough post divorce to enjoy many different women and you wont feel pressure to find a wife in your thirties so you can have kids. You are now in your prime, you have your kids, and while any divorce is not good, it is more easily managed as a younger man that an older man especially one who is successful financially.
No one wants to get divorced and if you are the lucky one who gets to be married 40 plus years and be happy you will be more fulfilled than if you just waited to do it in your thirties.
If you think I am wrong on this analysis, in part two of this timeline, you will learn the lessons of men who waited to get married until their thirties or were unable to get married at all.......
Make 2020 your best year and get the knowledge and mentorship from the right men, preferably your father, while you are young.
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