Men are naive right until the very end. We refuse to see what is right in front of us. This lack of vision often leaves us scrambling to save our hard earned money and relationship with our children. We get married and think that by being a good husband and father it is going to be enough to keep our wives loyal and happy. Being better than 95% of men out there is not enough. The woman wants the fantasy of a 100% perfect man, despite her flaws. The fact she has a vagina makes her believe she is entitled to this fantasy. She is constantly looking for it while she pretends to be happy in her current situation. The affirmation from her that you are a great dad and husband in the early stages of the marriage are hollow words designed to keep a man in his place until she finds a man who she believes in her mind is better than you. There is nothing you can do to stop this mindset and only when she presents her motives to you, either directly or indirectly, are you faced with having to make decisions, often without the help of a lawyer, that determine your financial future, mental health, and relationship with your kids.
I continue to be amazed at the men who do not see what their wife is doing behind their backs or when they do see it, they believe it is not as bad as it is or they can fix it. Women will do all the things that show they are no longer loyal to the family or marriage and will often present a man with a separation agreement drawn up by a lawyer, the type of lawyer who gets off like a nymphomaniac, drawing up agreements that deprive men of their assets and equal access to their children all while taking ridiculous fees from their female clients convincing them that men will just sign it without a fight. Sadly many men do in the fog of a dramatic change to their lives that they do not want despite the woman doing all but having sex with a boyfriend right in front of them.
In order to get men to doubt themselves, these women convince their husbands that they are leaving and want a divorce because the man is an alcoholic, she feels threatened by him including false accusations of physical violence added to the verbal abuse she say she has been suffering for years. As these accusations are being levied against the man, despite none of them being true, the woman is plotting how she will use the kids as leverage to get what she wants in a separation agreement, to keep the man she saw as a good father from seeing his kids equally, or both. Women are emboldened because they know the court system supports this behavior. If you want equal access to your kids, these women tell you to sign what their academically orgasmic lawyer has prepared at the cost of thousands of dollars before one foot is even set foot in a courtroom.
Men have to be taught early on to spot the signs of a disloyal wife. They also have to be taught that once a woman no longer wants to be married to you, she will be a completely different person than the one you married and will have no problem making accusations or efforts to set you up to the point where you could be arrested for domestic violence, destroying your chance at a fair custody outcome or even lose your professional license. Women will do this all while staying in the same home as you with no real plans to leave either because you provide a lifestyle for her that maybe she cant earn on her own or because she wants to drive the man crazy to the point where he will leave the home and she can play victim to get higher alimony or an increased chance at primary custody. I will never forget thinking I was doing everything right as a husband and father only to find out that not only was my wife spending her whole marriage on the computer writing fan fiction porn with Harry Potter characters having sexual interaction and having characters in her stories named after our daughters, but she had placed recording devices in our house to either provoke me into violence or to get me to threaten her or do something that could jeopardize everything I worked for knowing one mistake out of frustration could get me or any man to raise a hand or make a threat causing me to be hauled off to jail. I had invited her into my home sfter we dated for awhile, paid all her bills while she stayed at home, supported all her endeavors while never cheating on her or acting even the slightest way threatening toward her, and that was the thanks I got. Thanks to our court system she now owns the home free and clear despite never making one payment towards its purchase or upkeep. By doing the right thing and handling your business as a man, you are labeled a simp or a beta provider. Are we really shocked at the ongoing spiraling downward of families and the increased divorce rate? Women have all the incentive and power to destroy men who simply wanted a wife and kids.
Luckily in North Carolina, we have the alienation of affection laws which can often be a weapon to use against a woman who has gone off the rails likely because she has lost interest in her husband and either wants a fling with a new man or thinks she met her unicorn and is willing to throw away her family to get it. As women accuse a man of being an alcoholic because he has a beer or two after a hard physical days work, or that he is verbally or physically abusive because he does not kiss her ass 100% of the time, this is often being done because she has the real secret. Shes cheating on her husband. If you can catch her and meet the elements the law requires, you can often gain some advantage if you catch her early enough. If her boyfriend has deep pockets, it makes it even better. Trying to prove infidelity and alination of affection isnt always easy but you can spot the signs and start gathering evidence. Ger her cell phone, get access to her computer, and if you have the funds, get a PI to follow her. The evidence will be obtained more often than you think. If you wait too long as most men do, the wife lawyers up and is given instructions that make it harder to prove and gather evidence. The more a mans wife accuses him of things the more likely she is the one causing the problems.
Getting advice early on is the key to resolving a divorce on the most favorable terms. Ignoring the obvious and thinking you can fix things only causes a man more harm. When a woman is done with you, you need to be able to spot the signs and get away from her. She isnt coming back to you emotionally ever again even if you convince her to stay or come back to you physically. They are pros at disguising their feelings and motives. They may not act much different, and despite being the ones that file 80% of the divorces, they will only do so when they have their new man lined up or the belief that by leaving she has a good chance or getting an asset or monthly payout that allows her to live as she wants even if the husband has to move into an apartment and barely be able to pay his bills. She wants you buried to hide her own bad behavior and does not care if you are the father of her children. She is self centered and vindictive because she hates herself. Whether its a porn addiction that wastes her life day in and day out or the hypergamous infidelity based on her insecurities, she needs someone else to suffer for her life choices. It is her husband who must face the penalty and he is too often too blind to see it.
Change your mindset gentleman and see what is going on with your spouse and take action. If you roll over and do what she wants as the fog of reality sets in, you will regret it years down the road when you understand things after the fact. The longer the delay the more likely she gets away with what she is doing. Call a lawyer and get real advice from someone who has been there and not someone just looking to empty your wallet while doing nothing other than to file papers with a court while telling you to agree to an unequal custody arrangement because they have experience and know what a Judge will do when it comes to your kids. Your wife may want to destroy you mentally and financially but don't choose a lawyer who will only make it easier for her to do it. Get your evidence and fight.
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