A mans value to a woman is based on his ability or willingness to provide for her financially. Even if you are a high value man from a financial standpoint, it does not shield you from a woman's hypergamus nature or her ability to seek attention elsewhere. With rare exception, no man can meet the needs of a woman to the point where she will show the type of respect and admiration he requires to make the relationship last even on a superficial level. When a man shows vulnerability or are not meeting her financial needs, her behavior becomes more open and you have to decide how you are going to handle this lack of respect.
No matter how manly or how good looking you appear on the outside, if your financial situation is bad, your girlfriend or wife is not happy and her eyes are always on the lookout for a better man. This does not mean she will leave you the minute a richer guy shows an interest in her, but you will see and feel her lack of satisfaction almost daily even if she is physically afraid of you. Depending on how you carry yourself, she may be looking openly for attention from other men or she may be doing it behind your back. She is looking and she will leave or cheat. Its just a matter of when. If she has kids with you, it may be a little more difficult and while she may be with you from a dating standpoint, she does not respect you. Men who do poorly financially don't recognize this behavior until it is too late. His woman has likely cheated or leaves him without him even being aware she had these plans. She may have liked you when you were young or new and you had characteristics that got her attention in the moment. She may have married you for a variety of reasons but as time passes, her disdain for you becomes more open. You likely don't have the confidence to do anything about it and don't think you can do better. You know leaving means your minimal living lifestyle because you are barely paying bills will change to an even worse situation further destroying your mental and financial health. This is why domestic violence and divorce is higher in lower socioeconomic relationships. Women's poor treatment of men causes the low earning insecure man to do things that make his problems worse or suffer because financially he has no control. Its rare that a poorer man is forced to make a decision to leave his wife or girlfriend because of her behavior when he is not successful. The woman usually does it sooner rather than later.
Being a successful man is actually a curse when it comes to women starting with the significant financial inequities in a relationship. If you enter in to a marriage and don't have kids with her, then you are even stupider as she will eventually get paid for providing you nothing. These men face the same problems as poorer men in that his wife or girlfriend is still looking for attention elsewhere and the disrespect is still likely there because women cannot be satisfied. The problem for the more successful man is that women who are with him are even better at hiding their behavior and are not likely to leave as soon. Successful men mistakenly think that because they are high value and provide a woman everything she needs that he is immune to having a wife or girlfriend who will cheat, disrespect him, or just behave badly day to day while he does all he can to build and maintain his financial empire. Becoming a successful man who takes care of a family and provides a wife with a nice, often stay at home lifestyle, is not easy. It is constant work with failure or loss always just around the corner. Women don't care because if you cant provide for her, she will likely find another man who can because she is good looking. No woman who is attractive or has giant breasts will ever lack a man no matter how badly she treats the men she interacts with in life. You can meet a woman who is gorgeous yet has been divorced 2-3 times before age 40 and she still has men trying to date her or even marry her simply because of her looks. Unattractive women will always say that men deserve the bad behavior they face from these pretty women because we choose our mates based on how they look while ignoring their character. This may be true but that is for another conversation. Successful men have access to pretty women and we make our decisions accordingly. Its a fact of life. Once these decisions are made, you still have to face her behavior and women know what the ramifications are if you decide to stand up to them or even leave.
Are you the man who is doing everything right that would allow you to have a great wife and family yet you are now contemplating divorce because your wife is behaving badly? You are going to work and achieving. Hopefully you haven't made the mistake of sharing your vulnerabilities with your wife because you are human who isn't always going to dominate life. She isn't going to lift you up and likely does not care. All she cares about is the families balance sheet and the appearance she gives off to her often low end friends who place her on a pedestal. As you work through the ups and downs of your professional life, even if you are still being a boss, your wife is still getting bored with you. She is getting attention because she is pretty. It might be at the gym she goes to after she drops off your kids at the private school. It may be the online meet up groups she joins because she has nothing to do all day and cleaning a house or helping with the yard is below her. She may also be the type of woman who is making friends online where she shares her sexual fantasies and talks dirty to strangers. She isn't coming to your office for lunch or wanting to meet up with you for sex in the middle of the day. You have slowly become an afterthought. She may greet you at home after work with a "Hi, how was your day" in a sultry voice looking as good as ever standing next to your perfect looking kids, but she gives you less attention than the credit card bill you slowly open showing how much she spends each month. Shes giving everyone else attention because you aren't there and she is a woman. Five years turns into ten turns into fifteen and its only the people she interacts with that changes while you grind it out in misery watching your life go away. She is so tired from her day or her late night computer activities that she isn't going to be the sexy wife you see in front of you or thought you married. Shes still acting sexy, just not with you.
How much time has passed for you seeing this day to day behavior by your wife? You are being faithful and ignoring the women who flirt with you at work or in public because you aren't the type of man to cheat on or disrespect your wife or family. Your wife isn't going to leave you unless it benefits her financially. No matter how pretty she is, if shes aged a bit or has a couple of kids, and you are making bank, she isn't going to find a richer man who will make her life noticeably better. Instead she will stay with you until the kids are grown and your 401k or real estate portfolio is bursting and she can take half or more and not have to work again. The Gray divorce is a nightmare but the longer you wait to take action, the more you will likely face it because she wants your money more than you as you get older. Divorce or a loveless marriage is inevitable for about 80% of people who do it so its best to escape young rather than think things will get better. They wont.
Your wife's bad behavior is right in front of you and you recognize it. Most men do nothing making up all sorts of excuses. The day to day activities, the secret conversations or texts on her hidden cell phone are more easily seen. Her sexual activities online or even in person with men you don't even know about have replaced the sex she used to give you. She cant hide the lies and deception because there are so many of them which have only increased in time. This causes her to drink more or increase her depression medication. She knows the divorce laws and it only emboldens her because she has kids and you have done well. The ball is in your court. Do you stay and keep working hard earning more and more or do you leave her now and face the consequences now knowing what you will lose? It is a no win situation but at some point your own peace of mind and self respect have come before money. While you will lose a lot of money when you divorce as a successful man, your job is to minimize the loss and accept the fact that is the trade for being able to marry a pretty big breasted woman that other men think they want to be with and show their envy when the see you with her even if they know your wife is a horrible person who disrespects her husband and marriage because has poor character and cant be content. You hope you can salvage a relationship with your kids as having them is the only reason any many should marry.
I faced this dilemma and instead of staying in a loveless sexless marriage where I was disrespected to the point she didn't even hide it because she didn't think I had the courage to leave because she was beautiful and we had two young kids. I could have stayed and been miserable and waited 15 years for the kids to age out. She wasn't going to divorce me until the time was right as long as she could get away with her behavior. Whether I could catch her cheating didnt change anything. She had long ago ceased being a wife. The disrespect and contempt for me for being a nice provider type man was only going to get worse. Attention from me didn't matter. She wanted attention from other men and female friends who would just fawn over her and her perfect looking kids. These women also wanted her marriage to fail since they were also failed miserable women. My wife couldn't see past the attention. Women like my wife divorce their successful husbands when we are older and this is the most painful type of divorce. I saw my future. Most men stay in these bad marriages until the wife decides to leave them or until they die knowing as they take their last breath that the wife does not care, you cant do anything about it, and her first call following your death is to your life insurance company.
I somehow found the courage to leave my wife after only 8 years of marriage and two young kids. The process was heartbreaking and the court system was not my friend. The money lost was off the charts. The parental alienation I faced was just as bad. I was made to pay because I ended it on my terms not hers. She didn't think I had the courage to do it because I was a quiet man who let most things go, even her bad behavior. It is a process I didn't want but my self respect had some value over the money I had to give her despite her addictions and disrespect to our marriage. As bad it was, with all these years to reflect, and now that I have progressed into middle age, it was much better than it would have been had I stayed married for 18 or 28 years. I made the right decision.
If you are a man facing a similar situation and you see what is going on, talk to a lawyer who has lived it. Get advice regarding the pros and cons of leaving now versus staying until she decides you have made enough for her financially to leave. You will lose no matter what you choose and your wife knows that which only emboldens her behavior as time passes. She is living on her terms, not the marriages. You will will just keep working. Divorce is about minimizing the financial and emotional damage.
Ill teach you how to make the right decision and get the courage that you don't think you have but know you must get.
Be honest with yourself and take some action. You aren't getting any younger.
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