Divorce and Suicide

Divorce is one of the most traumatic events you will face in your life. It is so traumatic that many people who are miserable in their marriage would rather stay married and die alone within a bad marriage than divorce. When a marriage goes bad, it is the man that usually suffers most if it ends in divorce. He is the one that is likely to lose when it comes to money, status, and post divorce social options. It is even worse for the man because women don't typically love men emotionally while men love their wives deeply. While freedom from a horrible wife has value, too often the negatives cause a man so much emotional trauma that he has a real hard time overcoming and will actually consider and even commit suicide to avoid the pain.

Men are four times more likely than women to commit suicide following a divorce. The prime age group of suicide in men following divorce is between 45-60, an age where men have put in all the time and built everything only to lose it all in a divorce. The effects of divorce combined with the bias of the family court system put real stress on even the strongest of men. I have seen many Alpha males who dominate every aspect of their lives go to the ledge of killing themselves because they cannot handle the loss of a woman they loved, their money, and their kids. Add the fact that women have the easier time moving on and will not hesitate to show happiness right in the face of their ex husbands. Its a brutal time in a mans life that remind him of everything including his age and mortality.

As men we have to figure out how to deal with divorce in a way to minimize the trauma of it once we know it is going to happen. We do not want it to be a surprise. We need to be able to spot the red flags of bad female behavior and plan for the divorce doing the little things to slowly ease the emotional trauma over time while also protecting our finances and doing the things that get us the most access to our kids. Getting blindsided by a wife who wants a divorce while thinking it would not happen is a huge blow. Most men think that because they do everything right their wife will not divorce them. We spend all our time trying to earn money, be the best father, and do all the cookie cutter husband things not only because it is the right thing to do, but because we think it will cause our wife to stay and continue to admire us. That mindset is what causes men to see the divorce as a surprise and thus become more likely to kill himself. 

If you are man that is early in your marriage or still fairly young and you think the marriage is fine, you need to change your mindset from that of glee and happiness to one of awareness and preparation. This does not mean don't be a good husband, but you also stop believing that your good behavior will keep you married for life. It wont. You have to watch your wife's behavior. When you see the red flags you can start emotionally preparing yourself for the divorce but also to minimize your damage and control it. You want to be the one to pull the plug not her. While women initiate 80% of divorces, the 20% men initiate are usually not done because they have prepared and recognized the red flags. It is reactive because of a sudden change in their own mindset, desire for a new woman, or freedom. We as men need to control when divorces happen so these numbers are balanced. 

It is also important as a man to maintain atleast one relationship with another man throughout his life. This could be a man who is older and can be a mentor, a person who has been through things that you cannot mentally think about because you are a blue pilled beta, or someone who you trust and who will listen to you without judgment. You need someone who knows you, your life, and your wife. This person will not offend you by his words. Do not underestimate the importance of these relationships.

If you are going through a divorce or see the red flags of a bad relationship, do not face them alone. Find someone who can change your mindset and walk through the path with you. Suicide should never be an option. Not only do you lose the blessings of life but your family members including your kids suffer. Women also see your suicide as the ultimate victory. They want you destroyed and gone when it comes time for a divorce. You as a man need to be strong but hopefully you have read this post at a time before things go bad so you can think about whether you have the mindset to prepare and learn so if your marriage does fail, you are in the best place emotionally to face it and get the best result possible. Divorce sucks but you want to see the future without your marriage as something to look forward to and enjoy not something that took you by surprise.