When you are planning or in the middle of the divorce process, do not assume there is a line that even the worst woman will not cross when it comes to getting money and primary custody during your divorce battle. The woman you thought you knew as your wife becomes less desirable and a far worse person than any woman you knew in a prior life and probably will in the future. Who a woman really is comes out in the divorce process.
One of the biggest line crossing type of behaviors is the false accusation of domestic violence. This is the gold standard of lying that a woman will do without hesitation because it can get a man out of the marital home and cause him to lose a chance at equal custody of his kids. Men need to be aware that no matter how sweet and meek your quiet little soccer mom wife is, she is no less likely to make a false accusation and will push it as far as she needs to because it cannot be proven she is lying so she faces no penalties if the accusation is false. The politically correct legal system means almost any accusation is assumed to be true.
I never thought I would be the subject of such an attempt as the woman I was married to for about 9 years was someone I never fought with, rarely had a cross word, and for the most part I did not do or say anything during our marriage to rock the boat because she was beautiful and I wanted kids. Whether it be the wife or any woman I dated in the past, physical violence or the threat of it was never something that was in my persona even if I am type A and can speak my mind with intensity without issue. My wife knew the type of man I was having spent all those years with me seeing how I handle myself. If anything, my lack of authority or calling my wife on her bs was probably a big part of why the marriage failed. I should have been a big asshole and kept her in line but I digress...
While I consider myself pretty street smart and worldly seeing how people make stuff up to get over on others, until it happened to me I simply never thought that a woman would try to paint me in a light that would make me seem violent and angry because it would help her in a court to get custody of kids.
I previously told the story of finding the recording device in my home and how that made me sink emotionally, but this was step one of the plan to get me to be violent so she could get me out of the home . You men need to understand that even if you have never been violent toward your wife and are basically the nice guy, once divorce is on the table your sweet little wife will do things like try to get you to be violent to her having it all on tape for law enforcement. Any man, especially a man who is successful, could have a moment of weakness when provoked by a woman. We are human and a woman who knows you knows what buttons to push. The fact she is trying to deceive you to get an edge in a divorce is bad enough, but the ramifications of such actions can go beyond her calling the cops on you to get you out of the house. Losing your reputation, job, or professional licenses affects you and your kids. Women don't care, its about winning and control. If you think you meant nothing to your wife when you were married, once the divorce begins you will long for the days of how you were treated while you were married.
Despite hours and hours of me on tape interacting with the wife before we split up, there was nothing for her to use. Instead I get offered 2 overnight visits a month for custody by my ex via some lawyer who must have no soul to argue for that position. Understand that while the standard for custody issues is what is "the best interest of the child", that is the biggest bunch of garbage. Lawyers who represent women trying to deprive men of equal custody of their kids without a legitimate reason are the worst kinds of lawyers. While I survived the recording device plot no doubt hatched by a lawyer who lost her soul years ago, it was not over and the story gets funnier.
Once I left the marital home(don't assume the advice to stay in the marital home until things are settled is the best advice), the next step was to solidify custody via court order. My emotions are up and as I learn about the process and who my wife was and how the system was anti man, I became more vocal and outspoken whenever I thought someone might listen. I am having to empty my soul in a courtroom in front of strangers just to try and get equal custody of my kids while the addictions and habits of the wife, had they been mine, would not only make me a laughingstock but probably get me supervised visits. I spoke passionately and forcefully when I testified about the double standard and hypocrisy that exists in the family law system. The Wife needing an edge files an affidavit with the court saying she is concerned about my anger etc. She's trying to keep me from getting equal custody by lying including stating under oath that she is scared of me and worried about my anger problems. Remember while I was being a husband and provider, I had no issues in her mind relating to any anger.
Without the wife's addictions coming out in court, I likely don't get equal custody but it was a fight and anything they could do to make me look bad was on the table.. Since there was no evidence other than I was a good father who my kids wanted to be around, I had to be made out to be angry by the ex and her lawyers. Once I was awarded equal custody she was soon back in court trying to get the equal custody changed. The way the anger issue was pushed the hope was the biased judge would take my equal custody away. They needed more ammunition.
Judges do not like people standing up for themselves because it exposes the bias of the family law system. They want you to say yes your honor and no your honor and not question anything. I was not afraid to speak up and question things in and out of the courtroom. In the second attempt trying to keep me from equal custody of the kids, the judge decided instead of instantly taking my custody she would send me for an evaluation to see if I needed anger management. Hilarious. The wife's lawyers then had to speak further to make sure I followed through as it was vital because if it turned out I was in need of anger management, it might lose my equal custody. The literal joy of the lawyers and the ex wife that I got ordered for an evaluation was beyond the pale. The fact that I had never shown anger in any part of my life beyond the level of any normal person yet was now being sent for an evaluation because I stood up for myself, fought for my kids, and let all the players know what a scam family court was against men, only affirmed my belief that the system is used by women to destroy men. Many men commit suicide because this process is so bad and that is why they need to learn it before they go through it. I wish I had someone to tell me about all of it before my divorce which is sad as I am a lawyer.
Anyways, I call up the psychologist who is going to evaluate me for anger management. Of course I had to pay a fee for the evaluation. I get there and tell my story and the guy basically says I am not angry and I don't even need to be there. I have to attend three sessions for him to complete his evaluation. We get along fine. The ironic thing is that he was also going through similar child custody and divorce issues. I found our sessions were me counseling him and giving him legal advice. You cant make this stuff up.
Once my evaluation was complete the counselor says he is going to write a report which says I do not need anger management and in fact I seem like a mentally strong person who has handled all I have had to deal with in light of finding out about my wifes behavior, the addictions, and her desire to alienate my kids from me. The report never gets prepared however. I keep asking my lawyer if she got a copy. As bad as my exes lawyers wanted me to be emotionally and financially destroyed, I assumed they would be on top of getting a copy because they used every court hearing to say how angry I was and that I needed management of my problems. Even the Judge never followed up on her own Order for the evaluation never once asking the lawyers to produce a copy of the report to the court.
As time passed following this evalaution, I made the decision to settle the financial aspect of my divorce with the wife taking ownership of the house I worked so hard to unilaterally pay off as well as additional funds that were beyond belief for someone who was nowhere near a marital partner. With the wife and her lawyers paid suddenly none of them had an interest in getting a report about whether I needed anger management. Wouldn't a damning report give the wife and her lawyers ammunition to go back into court and take my equal custody from me? It sure would have been easier to do so in light of having a favorable Judge who didn't like my forceful opinions and sent me for anger management evaluation while assuming a wife who wrote volumes of porn on a computer was perfectly fine. No one did anything. No follow up, no nothing. The evaluator got paid, the lawyers got paid, and I could have real anger issues and none of it mattered. If you aren't cynical enough to think its only about money and embarrassing a man who dares stand up for himself, then what is it about? If it was about the kids and their custody as the lawyers argued to change, someone would have pushed to get a report completed and into the courts hands right. Years later still nothing as no report has ever been completed.
The humor of the system aside, it is important to understand the motives of those involved in it and their desire for money and to embarrass those who don't fall in line which are typically men who have fought for everything in their life. Be aware of what is being done and why. Awareness will help you not to take things personally because the hate and bias that is against the man is going to exist. Learn about it and get your situation set up to make the pain of divorce easier to deal with as you go through the system and face the lies and insults that are designed to break you so you will give up your money and your kids versus fighting for everything.
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The Red Devil