One of the most difficult things to do in life is end a connection to something you spent a lot of time investing in or building where such action is going to be at a financial or emotional loss. This can involve an object or a person. You can get married to a woman who you looked so forward to the time and investment the commitment required but when it goes bad, it is still hard to walk away because you are going to lose the time and money you spent developing the relaationship.
When the possibility of divorce raises its ugly head, you must make a decision as whether to cut your losses or invest further to see if the marriage can be saved. Enter the suggestion of marriage counseling. This suggestion is always made by the woman and never the man. It is made not because the woman wants to save the marriage but because she wants another person to affirm how wonderful she is and how bad of a husband you are. This emotional and financial beatdown not only destroys you more so than you already are because of where your marriage is at, but it is often a delay tactic used by women to prepare for divorce while they laugh at you with the support of a female counselor.
When the suggestion of marriage counseling is made, you basically need to say fuck no without causing conflict. Be diplomatic. You don't need to explain why. Just forget it. I can say this from experience and my naivite of the nature of women at the time. I did not want to get divorced but knew I was going to walk out of my marriage at some point. I now have a better understanding of why battered women stay with men following my divorce experience. A man can be with a woman who he knows does not care about him, clearly disrespects him, and where is simply not happy yet he wont leave her. If you mix in young kids and a huge financial loss combined with the fear of losing someone you loved or still love, it is not an easy decision. A woman might not care about you but she knows you inside and out. She knows your fears and all of what you will lose if you divorce. She knows the family court system better than your lawyer especially if you aren't her first husband. The sweet soccer mom persona is just an act. She is mean and ruthless its worse the more aware you are. She's been preparing for divorce for a long time and long before you ever thought it would be a step you would take. The ideal advice to a man is once he knows his divorce is going to happen is to say nothing, pack your stuff, and move out under cover of darkness. That is not easy and even if that is the plan there is going to likely be some conversation about what is going on and that maybe marriage counseling should be considered. You are trying to find another way to delay what you know you need to do and your wife sees another opening to destroy you mentally.
Once you agree to marriage counseling, you will find yourself setting it up and probably agreeing to a female counselor suggested to you by a female lawyer. When the day comes you can look back at this process, its a wonder you don't kill yourself now that you understand what a simp you were thinking this counseling would have value and save your marriage. Once the arrangements are made, you show up separately from your wife like total strangers and as you both walk in to the appointment, the female marriage counselor with all these initials after her name and diplomas on the wall first makes sure you have brought her payment for the session as that is her biggest concern. She will then proceed to ask your wife to say all the things that went wrong in your marriage. You sit there listening to a person you loved and took care of demean you and flat out lie while you do your best not to interrupt her. By the time it is your turn you really don't feel like saying anything but you mumble about how you want to fix things etc. You are then given a handout by the counselor regarding how to use certain words to better communicate like you are some three year old learning the alphabet. This all goes on while the counselor watches the clock to make sure you don't go over the pre paid time. You walk out feeling like you just paid money to be told you are the biggest failure but over time it can be fixed with multiple sessions. Your soon to be ex wife walks out with her nose even further in the air laughing on the inside because she received affirmation from another lady whose attractiveness disappeared back when her outdated perfume and costume jewelry was in fashion. You didn't even walk out hand in hand with your wife whose relationship you are trying to save. The whole scenario is beyond fucked up but most men don't see it immediately if at all.
Why not a male counselor you ask? No woman is going to agree to one unless he is gay or feminine acting. She needs to know she can manipulate him. Manipulation of the process is easier to achieve if it is a woman helping her so she will not want a man speaking who might help you wake up. Remember why she is suggesting counseling. It is not to save the marriage so she needs a counselor to affirm her emotions and shitty behavior toward you.
Now what do you do?
Following this first session most men get on this train of counseling sessions where they are essentially all the same. The only thing you remember is all the money that comes out of your pocket and you don't even recognize the verbal dressing down your wife is giving you. That does not even count all the laughing she is doing behind your back. Your wife will go to counseling as long as it gives her the advantage in divorce preparation or makes he feel better about her failure as a woman and wife. You cannot negotiate the return of her desire for you no matter how many sessions you attend. If she still wanted you, you wouldn't need counseling. While you are trying to save your marriage that you know deep down is over, she's probably emptying your bank accounts or stealing your personal items. She might even be getting a form of counseling from another man if you know what I mean. I've lived it and these women are pros. Men need to wake up to the behavior of women.
The answer is simple, stop going. Cut if off. Save your money. Your marriage is over. Accept it and plan your escape before she damages you emotionally and financially more than she has already. While counseling can be helpful for men under certain circumstances in life, marriage counseling especially with a woman counselor is a flat out waste of time. Save your money for counseling post separation with a strong male counselor who has lived what you are and will be going through. You need an ally in your corner not an emotional beatdown justified by our liberal, feminist, masculinity destroying educational system.
For all the denial I was in at the time which include a complete lack of understanding the type of woman I was married to, the stupidity of marriage counseling was so obvious that I only went to one more session and then said fuck this never to schedule another appointment. The wife didn't push it because she knew that I finally figured out some of what she was up to and her desire was not save our marriage but to emotionally and financially humiliate me in any way possible.
Following this brief attempt at counseling, I walked out of the family home less than 90 days later ready to face the financial and emotional loss that I could no longer avoid.
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