In order to be the best man you can you need to understand when to get married and why you are doing it. If you are a man that does not want children, under no circumstances should you get married. Repeat this to yourself 100 times and tattoo it on your chest if necessary.
If you are like most men who want a family and children, in today's world more than ever you have to understand when and how to get married because you are likely to get divorced and the only person that benefits from the divorce is the woman. There is no way around it and women show their understanding of divorce law by their behavior toward you once married. They likely have the divorce planned before they marry you and build their case from the day you get married to make leaving easier and more profitable or to damage you should you one day get some balls and walk out on her as I did my wife. As long as you do what she says while married, you may never see the case she is building for the lawyer she has not yet hired. Unless you were lucky and got the rare sensational, family oriented, loyal woman who knows what it means to be a wife and partner, the older you are when you marry, the more likely it is the woman married you because she wants your sperm so she can get the kids that will get her more money when you divorce or she knows she will never be able to earn enough with her own talent to live the lifestyle she wants. She is going to hitch herself onto your success so she can live well while married and live even better once you divorce. This is what happened to me as I was simply a sperm donor and a retirement plan for a woman who faked what she needed to get her financial goals met because she knew she would live a low end financial life without the right man. Looking back all I can do is kick myself for allowing it to happen but delaying marriage until later in life combined with being blind to the nature of a beautiful woman only made me the ultimate mark and she played it well to get what she wanted. I don't want that to happen to any man.
I am ultimately at fault for the financial raping and parental alienation I had to deal with once I decided to end my marriage because I failed to make the right decisions at the right time earlier in life. My goal now is to teach as many men how to spot these women, avoid getting hitched to them at the wrong time no matter how pretty they are, and still build a life that involves marriage and a family with minimal loss when you likely end up divorced or are forced to make a decision to stay in a bad marriage or leave. If you are a man facing divorce and the potential problems that come with it, this post is not really for you. The issues that you are going to face are long and difficult to fix or minimize the damage. This is discussed elsewhere. If you are a younger man who saw his parents have a marriage that made you want to marry and have kids as they did, then you need to start planning early and make it happen even if means giving up sleeping with a bunch of young women when they are the easiest to bed.
There is not a better time in life than college years for most men. You are young and likely in the best shape of your life. Beautiful girls are everywhere and have still not fully developed or been exposed to the mindset of using a man for sperm or money or both. They love like they never will in their life again. The games they play with your heart and mind still exist but its no different than games the women in their 30s play other than if you are still single at that age, experience makes it a little less emotional for you. If your goal is to get married and have kids, you need to be trained to look for a quality woman who is marriage and family minded so you can get married young. If a woman is going to be like this in a sincere way, it is when she is young. If you are trying to do this after college age it gets harder to find. Once a woman gets out of college, if she is not in a serious soon to be married relationship she is more likely lose her ability to love, cheat on the man she is with, and her hypergamous nature begins to show itself. If she is pretty everything is amplified. As you get older and you see more divorced women, you wil learn that these women simply have no ability to feel like they did when younger. Men are simply a need to and end.
I know what you are thinking. Why would a man in his prime youth with more females available than any time in his life make a commitment to one woman and get married. You give up all the women, you likely are not established financially, and kids are only going to make day to day life tougher and more stressful. All that is true but life is about choices. Its the rare person who can get what he wants without having to give something up. The richer your family is or the more exposure you have socially to women after you leave school the better your odds are at meeting a certain type of top notch woman. For the average guy who might even be hard working and social, as you age your exposure to available quality women decreases. Who wants their first marriage to be to a divorcee or a single mom? When you are in your 30s and trying to get a wife and kids, you will be glad if the woman you meet does not have a kid by another man. Shes likely divorced and that makes her even more likely to see you and your Im going to wait until I have a career and some money before i marry mindset as the perfect victim to get what she wants. Her giant breasts and your receding hairline only make you more susceptible to these type of women. It is what is out there guys and delaying something like a wife and family is only going to cause you more heartache and financial destruction.
Once you have the mindset to marry young and not just have sex with every young lady you meet, you have the best chance to find a nice girl who wants kids and family. She will be immature but you will know if she cares for you. You will be broke and worried about how to pay for things but dont let others tell you to wait. If you are going to a professional school or still unsure about anything in terms of career do not let that stop you from getting this part of your life going. If you have your kids young you arent as likely to be able to provide for them or give them as many things, but your family is likely to be a happier environment and the kids have better odds at mom and dad being together when they are finishing high school. Even if you divorce and it goes wrong, you have your kids and the money you pay out for child support will likely be less than a man who waited to marry when he had the nice income. You will also be old enough to rebuild and enjoy the company of many new women while you are a still young. While divorce sucks, it is easier to handle the younger you are because the loss is less and the opportunity to date and enjoy new women is higher. Getting divorced in your 40s with young kids after you built a career with no help from a woman you married late because she spent her 20s riding the cock carousel is the worst outcome. Delaying marriage and family means you are less likely to get a quality woman who has the ability to actually care about you versus what you can provide for her because she could not find a man while young or she got divorced from her college sweetheart.
There is nothing worse than being used by a woman who takes a marriage vow and chooses to have kids with you for money. Its a reflection on her character but also your own lack of knowledge for allowing it to happen. Younger women will certainly change as they age and there is still atleast a 50% chance you will divorce, but if you are aware of how great a family unit can be, these negative statistics should not keep you from getting married.
I know many men who think getting married young is foolish yet they all want kids. When our college girlfriends left or cheated on us because we wouldn't push for marriage or we allowed ourselves to pick one who had no value beyond their looks, we left school with an uncertain or delayed career path and less women around that might allow us to meet a wife. You hit 30 real quick and you are still looking for a wife. You hear about the woman who you thought was awesome marry young and she now has kids and what seems like a good relationship. If she breaks up with her husband he has his kids, a fresh start, and got the best years of his wife. If they stay together, they are likely bonded in a way that only marrying young allows. You still have nothing and your looks are going down no matter how much you try to stay in shape. If you turn into a sloth youre chances at a decent woman is pretty much zero. On the other side of 30 your options are more and more single moms and divorces with the occasional unmarried unattractive woman crossing your path. There is nothing positive here at all and with rare exception does a man who does not run in significant social circles find a decent woman to marry after age 30 who has no baggage and the ability to feel.
If you are that guy like I was who was not married in his early to mid 30s after building your career and getting a real financial foothold in life, you are now a sperm donor or retirement plan to most women. You may get lots of sex and women who see you as a catch. However, they have no interest in you as a person. If you think you can marry a woman 10 years younger while it might be good on paper, if she is picking you it is simply for money because she does not want to build it with a guy her age. If you marry a woman who is near your age then she is likely divorced or not attractive. She sees you as a sperm donor because her biological clock is ticking and you were Mr Right Now who just happened to be the guy she was dating at the time she realized she better have her kids. If she isnt emotionally dead because her first marriage didnt work, then she spent her 20s having more sex than you will ever know and she is marrying you for your ability to provide. She cant pair bond with you either way. Like most men, when you are 35 and frustrated you couldnt find a wife and you want kids, your standards go down and your character radar are shut off. This leads to bad decisions, a loveless marriage, and divorce rape. If you have the ability to see this and can walk away from a bad woman in your mid 30s, you are likely able to accept that you are not going to have kids. I know many men who are now well into their 40s who never got married and never had kids because they think they are going to meet this perfect woman that will love him and pay attention to him like that college girl did back when women were at an age when they could feel something for a man. These women arent showing up guys and unless you want to marry a younger woman who wants your money in exchange for kids knowing she isnt with you for you, then keep doing what you are doing while you read about all the guys you knew when you were younger posting things on Facebook about their kids getting married etc.
Life is about choices. If you were raised in a good family environment and value a life with a good woman and kids then you need to get a mindset as a young man and work toward finding a way. This may require some monogamy and you are likely to have sex with fewer beautiful girls while you are in the physical prime of your life, but the reward is so much more and if and when your marriage goes bad, the financial and child custody issues, while still stressful, are less of a destruction to you than if you wait until your 30s or later to marry.
Dont make the mistake I made guys which was not getting married until my mid 30s. Delaying marriage only increases the likelihood you will end up with a woman who simply has no ability or desire to enuinley love or bond with you but who knows all the tricks to get you locked in to a marriage contract to get her financial or biological needs met. There is not a worse feeling in the world than either continuing to increase the odds you don't get married and have no kids because you are still waiting for this perfect match to show up, or that you end up a Sperm Donor and a Retirement Plan for a woman because you wanted kids and didnt make it happen for yourself as a younger man and are now choosing poorly to get things that you should have tried to make happen as a younger man.
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