Hindsight is always 20/20 in every aspect of life. We always learn things from experience and the lesson typically isn't too expensive. It might be getting out of a bad investment or even getting rid of a person in your life who you mistakenly thought was your friend. You can get away and move forward with life and learn while being more confident and self aware. This isn't so easy when it comes to matters of the heart and the natural desire to create a family. Men who come from good family backgrounds want to be married and have a family like they their parents did. Growing up with parents who stayed married and being able to see mom, dad, and my sister every day in a loving and team minded household was worth more than I can express even with limited financial resources. This set up isn't easy to find in todays Instagram and Swipe Left world where women have trained themselves to value attention and status more than ever. The end result of trying to create a Leave it to Beaver life in a Jersey Shore world is men will make huge mistakes to try and create a family. Sadly women don't want families like men do in the modern world. They are too busy being career women and hypocritical feminists. The idea of marriage and a traditional family is pretty much gone in their mind. This does not mean they wont get married and have kids and will do anything necessary to get what they want whether it be children, money, or both.
Young men need to learn from us older men how to spot the type of women who act like they want to be married and have a family when they really don't so we can run the other direction and avoid mistakes or atleast understand the deal with the devil we will decide to make when we have aged out meeting a quality woman. The inability to spot this type of woman is only going to lead to heartache, broken families, and the mans financial destruction. While no amount of knowledge can guarantee you wont be tricked by this type of woman, the failure to see what is right in front of you will cause you more pain than you can imagine and such pain should not be wished on any man, even your sworn enemy.
Let me help get you thinking about this type of woman as you may be looking for answers why your marriage broke up despite you being a great husband and provider or most importantly to maybe get you thinking before you decide to marry the wrong woman just because you want a family like the one your parents created.
Imagine meeting a pretty woman. She probably has a college degree, a great personality, or both. Men want her. You want her. She gets lots of attention even at an age where men might see her as getting old. Odds are she is pushing 30 or even slightly past it. You wonder how such a beautiful woman who has her act together on the surface is not married and does not have kids. She's probably been married before yet didn't have kids with her first husband. Her excuse as to why varies from they were building their careers or they weren't mature enough. The translation means her man wasn't making enough money or the relationship was filled with emotional or physical abuse because of her behavior. She will lie about why her relationship ended but it was probably her fault leaving a man, probably the one she dated all through college(but not without cheating on him repeatedly) who truly loved her with a broken heart.
When you meet a woman at any age, you can tell when she is in to you. How she looks at you and how she treats you shows she wants you to be special. As a woman ages, if she is not sincere in her desires, this behavior is not so easily faked. The pretty ones can still do it and men don't spot the fake behavior because they are enamored with her looks and how beautiful their kids will be.
These women do not want to be with you in a family environment. She wants a baby but she wants it with the right man who genetically and financially will give her the best offspring. That is normal as men want pretty women for the same reason but they want it in a family environment for lots of reasons which includes a biased court system. Women however have this ability in a subtle way to make it known that they just want the kids and financial security especially if their work history is spotty and she is broke. If you don't understand what I am saying, learn about who reproduces in the USA. 20% of men reproduce with 80% of the women in this country. In other words, 80 % of men never get to have kids and only 20% of women never have kids. Eliminating the people who are just absolutely never going to have kids because they don't want or cant physically have them and the illegitimacy rates in certain communities and you have a country where women are controlling who gets to reproduce with them. If you are one of the 20% of men who gets to reproduce, you are likely at the top in income and looks etc that you have more women than you can handle. Most men in this 20% are men that want kids but still have to work very hard to get one woman to have kids with him. The woman you desire has many suitors and you hope that she hasn't had sex with her whole graduating class by the time she chooses to be with you. He knows the statistics and will tolerate a lot as his desire for kids and family is strong. This is why women have an ability to use men like yesterdays garbage when it comes to creating kids and having families. While many nice women cant get a date for whatever reason, there are a lot of men more men who would make good dads and fathers who never get the chance.
As you understand the behavior of these women, you either have to accept it knowing what is likely to happen which is your financial destruction and potential loss of access to your kids all because of your desire to have kids. Even if you are a top notch man who should fall in the 20%, life's circumstances can cause you not to be able to meet a woman who will not only be a good wife and mother, but who is also someone you want to have kids. Your 20's turn into your 30's real quick and your biological clock isn't much different than a woman's. Women who truly want to be married and have kids get married young and are more likely to stay married. If you miss out on a quality woman, you need to be aware of what you are going to likely end up with assuming you don't end up alone.
As you make decisions to have kids with a woman and potentially get married, you need to spot the signs that the woman has no interest in you despite her willingness to do whatever she needs to have kids and provide for her financial future. The behavior may not show itself immediately but as a man you need to prepare yourself to spot the behavior that is coming so you make decisions with a full understanding of what you are getting in to and what can happen when you can no longer live the lie you created for yourself. As you meet these women around 30 with their prior history of marriage or just a life screwing bad boys until they are ready for a provider type to take care of them who may or may not be exciting. When she does pick you and says and does all the right things to make the relationship progress, understand she does not want you, she wants what you can provide. Your money and your genetics are all that matters. You have to know the tests to help you discover this type of woman before its too late.
If you can be a provider for a woman, these women will either be direct or deceptive to get you to give them a baby. Once they get it, you are dead to them other than your wallet and she will be out of your life before the baby turns one using the court system to get money. She is now a mom and now she has a check from you for 18 years. Despite her mindset, she may feel that she needs to pretend to be a family and get married or despite her lack of interest in marriage, she knows you wont have a baby with her unless its in a marriage. She will not love you but will marry you and go through the motions. The mistake most men make is that they are blinded by her lack of love and desire to be a partner because the man wants kids and he is getting married to a woman who is pretty and who wants kids. Your early to mid 30s are a dangerous time for a man who despite his success couldn't find a wife in his 20s. You are about to be used and destroyed and you don't even know it.
The woman's plan is to be a single mother. How and when she times it depends on her and your knowledge of what she is doing. She wont tell you that but after the baby is born you will see her behavior change without telling you that she wants a divorce. After you marry her, she will isolate you and spend more time with her friends than you. Sex will be rare and timed around the days she ovulates with. Post marriage she stops showing any type of interest in sex but you still see her physically as a goddess. A wife who looks like a Ferrari but without an engine is pure torture for a man but that is your life. Its like having a strip club in your house. These brazen women will make her wedding ring disappear and basically behave as a single person no matter how nice you are. She was never interested in you the person. Its about what you can provide and she has it once the babies are born. She will behave poorly toward you because she knows what you will lose if you choose to leave and leaving her allows her to play victim to all who will listen and everyone will believe her lies.
After you get married, your wife will spend time with her friends and family excluding you and avoiding intimacy by spending any free time either outside the house or on the computer. She sees you as the provider of the sperm and the money she desires but also the biggest idiot on the planet. She will prepare her victimhood narrative long before you might consider leaving. She wont divorce you but once she has her kids, she will do everything to drive you to divorce her. The longer it takes you to leave, the less she respects you. How can any man tolerate his wife not wearing her wedding ring ever, denying sex, and enjoying her friends day to day and not working while you pay all her bills she wonders. She wants to protect her lifestyle. Your enemy status is confirmed.
You may be in that position now and not sure what to do. You finally accepted what she was doing and the marriage ended or you still cant quite pull the trigger because you have small kids. Whether you married her or not, following the end of the relationship she does not want you to see the kids. She will hire a lawyer who, like most family lawyers, absolutely has no care for the best interest of the kids to write you a letter offering you as little as one weekend a month with your kids. These lawyers should be disbarred and the women who asked them to handle their custody case with these crazy positions regarding custody are the worse kind of women. These women are ruthless and predatory. She planned his destruction from day one and plays victim to the court system who eats it up. She does not care about the kids and sees them as possessions caring only about what she can get and not the fact her daughter wont get the input she should from a great dad.
Some very high level men have fallen victims to these women. Men who are great fathers, great husbands, and great providers are faced with staying in marriage where the wife is so disrespectful and likely unfaithful that seeing how his life is he has to leave costing him everything or stay waiting for her to pull the plug which she will. If he waits to do anything, he will come home one day to an empty house with personal possessions gone destroyed by a wife who sees your personal items having no value because you have no value. The women know they married and had kids with a top man but their goals of being a mom with dad having little contact with the kids after the relationship ends far outweighs the value of any man or a relationship. Women take pride in being single moms. The lies it affords them to tell while being faking being self sufficient pseudo feminists only gives them more energy.
While it may be too late to fix, if you still aren't sure if you married one of these women, ask yourself how she handled custody of the kids. Did she hire a lawyer straight away to offer you one weekend a month hoping you would just accept it and walk away like most men do. If she refused equal custody why do you think that is if there is no reason for a court to see you as anything but a good dad and provider. Kids are not possessions and they need their dads involvement just as much as moms. If you fight for equal custody how does she coparent once its determined and she does not get what she wanted in terms of custody or child support? These women will not coparent and will pull you back in to court at the slightest chance to take your custody time. You will soon learn that no contact is a must and co parenting is not possible causing your kids to suffer even more.
Young men need to learn how to spot these type of women. Men who are married to them and see the behavior but stay in the marriage for the kids need to learn who they married and leave the marriage as soon as possible with help from the right lawyer or coach to formulate an exit plan. Leaving on your terms and not hers is the only way to help offset what is coming while salvaging your pride as a man. Doing nothing is not an option. It is easier to face the custody battle and her blatant attempts at parental alienation once you have real time and real custody. It will take work but men's biggest failure is not knowing their enemy and thinking that if a woman married you and had a baby with you that at some point she actually cared about you and only wants the best for you.
Men United has men on staff who have experienced this type of woman and took steps to walk away. The stories are endless and single young men need to be educated while married men contemplating or facing divorce need to understand what they face so they can cut their losses and work on rebuilding their emotional health. Ignoring your situation is only going to make it worse.
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