The Ability to Walk Away

HOne of the hardest things to do in life is cut your losses. This could be whether you are gambling in Vegas, buying or selling stocks, or dealing with a relationship controlled by the State. Men are not rational when it comes to decisions involving money and women. When you mix the two, even the most intelligent men can get caught up in their bad decisions. The inability to recognize a bad decision only makes it worse when it is finally faced.

When a man is pondering leaving a relationship, he often refuses to do it for a variety of reasons. This mindset needs to be fixed in all men. The main reason men don't have to make difficult decisions in their relationship is because it is usually made for them by a woman. While a man is complaining about how bad his wife is, she has already been complaining or plotting long before and 80% of the time she is leaving and filing for divorce. If that is not his situation, instead of facing the bad situation he takes up with another woman and leaves his wife because he has a new relationship. Infidelity might make it easier to make a decision to leave but it is not the way any man should use as the reason to end his marriage.

If neither of these situations fit you, ask yourself why taking no action is the better option. Men in these situations are usually the ones with the most to lose and who have the best character. Wives are not going to leave these type of men because they benefit day to day by who you are and what you provide. Imagine being a man who makes good money, has a stay at home wife, children in the home, yet is emotionally and financially abused by his wife. She ignores him giving the majority of her attention to the kids or Facebook, does nothing to keep the home presentable, belittles him either directly or indirectly, uses sex as a weapon of control, and spends money at her leisure. This is just the behavior he is aware of and he sometimes fails to recognize or accept that women are not faithful and good at concealing affairs. A woman who is not leaving you is not always a faithful woman. These men stew inside while the wife's behavior magnifies. She lives the life she wants day to day while he struggles to take care of a family receiving no love or respect. The longer the man allows this to go on, the harder the inevitable divorce will be for him both emotionally and financially. 

Just like buying a stock, when a marriage goes bad, the man who is honorable and not looking to leave his marriage too often fails to admit what is going on even though it is right in front of him. He thinks if he invests more or does nothing, his wife's behavior will get better and he will come out ahead over time. Rarely does this approach work. He thinks he can negotiate her desire for him to return without ealizing that once its gone, there is no getting it back even if he stays married.

Women know when their man is unhappy. They know their role in it. They rarely care. They also know that the man is not likely to pull the plug on the marriage, especially when there are kids in the home. If a woman thinks a divorce is even slightly an option, she begins preparing in a way that makes you wonder how many divorces she has been through before meeting you. They make family money disappear, start overspending, and making the mans personal items disappear out of spite. Women have an innate ability to mentally abuse and control men right up to a line that keeps the marriage in place with them in control. When the man decides to stand up for himself things begin go bad. The line is constantly being adjusted by the woman to keep the man from taking action. If anyone is going to take action to end a marriage, it is going to be her.

One thing we teach the men we coach and counsel for divorce is to see the behavior that is going on so the best decision can be made whether it makes sense to walk away from a marriage or invest more thinking things can be fixed. Even the smartest men won't recognize their spouses bad behavior or how they are being abused or used until it is too late. Deep inside they still know something is wrong right up until the time she makes the divorce happen. Men who wouldn't otherwise be unfaithful or who want to do all they can to stay married need the help from someone who has been there and walked away despite not wanting to and believing things could be fixed. Reality is not easily faced alone and the perspective of someone who has experienced the gut wrenching decision of walking away from a marriage and someone they loved not because he had a girl on the side, but because his wife was that bad of a spouse, is invaluable.

If you are contemplating pulling the plug on your marriage and walking away but cant quite do it using a variety of excuses, contact our office for a real talk consultation to help you decide what is the best decision for you and your financial and emotional health.