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The Dilemma

2/20/2019

 
A man who gets married and who does not have children with the woman he marries is an absolute fool. There is no other reason to marry and a good argument can be made that the desire for children is still not enough reason to marry. 

Depending on your age, you likely had parents who didn't divorce and had a somewhat positive family life. Your family may not have had a lot of money but the happiest people were usually the adults who were married and the kids from homes that were not broken. Whether the non monogamous nature of women was not so out in the open or people just valued families even though they were not happy, people weren't as likely to divorce.   

Times have changed.

The reasons why the divorce rate has increased is for another post, but the times are what they are and the financial rewards in a divorce are far more advantageous for a woman.  Women today are far smarter in the ways of divorce than our parents were. Their mindset is now self preservation not family preservation. They have educated themselves on the benefits of divorce and they choose their partners in part by how the man will likely be forced to provide those benefits when she is ready for the marriage to end. Therefore men have to be careful and not just marry because they think they are in love and want affection from a woman in a family unit. The way the woman feels about you when she marries you will change drastically over time or after she has kids. The confidence of the divorce safety net will cause a woman to want to have sex with a bunch of different men as she ages and you will discover you were not special, you were just the guy she found could be the best for her monetarily to give her that confidence. If she has kids with you, she liked your genetics. At some point you realize she is not yours, it was just your turn. 

The dilemma is what most men face in that we want kids and will likely marry even if we have educated ourselves on the nature of women. Its natural. You want it in a family environment. If you don't want kids and you get married you are an idiot. If you have been married, had kids, and divorced, then you are a fool to remarry if you aren't going to have any more kids. Over time, our cultures belief system will move into one where kids without marriage is the norm. This is not good for the long term viability of a society. Until then, as a man you have to prepare yourself for the changes that occur in women that come with age, the changes of their bodies, and their hypergamous nature. She is going to divorce you or make your life so miserable that you will divorce her. A mans desire for a family outweighs all this negativity.

Young men need to educate themselves so they can take the steps to marry and have a family. These steps can minimize the damage that he is going to face when his wife decides she's ready for other men and you have evolved into just a wallet. Understanding female nature helps you decide to get married and have a family and makes the failure of your marriage(you can have a failed marriage and not get divorced) easier to accept. Ignoring reality or failing to educate and prepare yourself makes your divorce and custody issues beyond heartwrenching.

Men United can provide the lessons you need so you can prepare for marriage, have a family, and navigate the waters of the eventual divorce that is coming with minimal financial damage while maximizing the access to your kids.

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  • Home
  • READ THIS FIRST
  • I Don't Need a Lawyer...
  • Life Coaching Services
  • Why Men United?
  • Men United for Women
  • Charged with a 50b or 50c?
  • Blog
  • Contact and Rates
  • Playing Field
    • Wifes Lineup >
      • Wife
      • Counselor
      • Teachers
      • Parental Alienation
      • Male Judge
      • Female Judge
      • Emo Babysitter
      • Psychologist with M.D. aka "The Pill Pusher"
      • Wifes Lawyer (Or Two)
    • Husbands Lineup >
      • Husband
      • Your Lawyer
      • Expert Witnesses