I know you remember that girl you dated in college or met soon after you both graduated. You probably married her. She is probably playing on her computer in another room right now as you read this contemplating how and when to divorce her. You might even be too chicken to divorce her but you wake up wondering each day when she is going to walk out on you now that she feels empowered by her hypergamus nature or her friends and neighbors who want her to suffer the misery they suffered because they failed in their own marriages and don't want to see others happy.
When you married her she probably had dropped out of college or had this meaningless liberal arts degree that couldn't get her a meaningful job that she didnt feel was beneath her other than school teacher. She likely hated it or couldn't even handle it and quit soon after starting the line of work she told everyone she was going to have once she finished school. Her desire to save the world suddenly changed to her own personal desire for survival because she knew she couldn't do anything but live paycheck to paycheck on her own in some crappy apartment. She then either doubled down with a worthless graduate degree or got a customer service job that she couldn't deal with because she hated people and the sexual harassment she faced from her boss if she was lucky because she was attractive. If she was fat or ugly she would soon morph into an even more open left leaning and man hating woman who suddenly had to suppress her desire for kids because life wasn't working out for her the way she thought it would. If she had student debt that only made her more angry.
Somewhere in her personal evolution she met you, the blue pilled white knight.
Your path was a bit different. You might have gotten a worthless liberal arts degree as well but you knew that more work had to be done. If you weren't smart enough to major in something that could get you a real job upon graduation, you got more education and a career path that could ultimately lead to a chance at real difference making income. If you weren't academically inclined, maybe you learned a trade and started a business where you made more money building it and working it than any over educated man who thought he was special because he had a business or law degree. You were making something of yourself but as is true with most men, you wanted a family. You wanted kids and to have a wife you loved and could take care of as men do. What you asked for in return was minimal and you soon saw the women you married had no interest in your needs despite all you did for her. Through this early journey in life you showed your success and the woman you are married to now and about ready to divorce saw you for your success or even your potential. She knew she was never going to achieve your success but unlike you, she could use her looks to get what you both wanted but only with different motives. She wasn't going to make an effort to build a career or work hard until she knew she couldn't get a man or that the man she did get was no longer going to pay for her life. While there are women who walk the same path you did and became successful earning their own way, those women were so rare and maybe not marriage material until they reached 35-40 and realized they needed to have some babies. These women were awesome and you probably met some but she was as driven as you and was not going to settle down until she achieved what she wanted often to her own detriment and regret.
You weren't going to wait around any longer for what you hoped to meet so you married your wife, the woman who is not paying any attention to you now and probably hasn't for years while she spends her free time playing on her computer doing anything from playing solitaire, to posting stuff on Facebook about your perfect looking kids, or your biggest fear, she is talking to other men or being sexual in ways online that she never even thought of doing with you. Maybe she is talking to the men she met at her gym or for activities she signed up for to get out of the house. Maybe she is addicted to porn or writing fan fiction where she shares her stories of Harry Potter characters having graphic sex in ways that if she would do those acts with you your marriage would not be near its end. Your mind races with possibilities about what she is doing online or out of the house while you continue to work to support your growing family. You know what each of you is contributing to the marriage and that it is grossly unequal, but you cannot decide what to do. Will you keep living this way? Her indifference is obvious despite the credit card she uses without limits.
While you wonder how everything got to this point as you relive your past of meeting this woman you thought was awesome to getting married to having kids to finally waking up to see what has happened, what you finally realize and likely too late is that your wife is smarter than you are and she controlled all the cards of your financial future and time with your kids the minute you said "I do" and allowed the State to control your life.
Once you get married, ask yourself what your wife was and how she evolved. She realized she wasn't going to be successful financially so she picked you because she saw you were or were going to earn better than she ever could. She had kids as soon as possible after your marriage so she could quit the job she hated or so she could work part time choosing her hours like she had some kind of control over what she did or didn't do workwise. Your success enabled her hidden sense of entitlement. She watched you work harder and harder while she spent more and more. Sex reduced drastically and the disdain she had for you became more open instead of hidden because she envied who you were knowing she never could be the person you are or achieve what you have achieved. In between her misery and self hating fits of narcisism she learned the divorce laws. If you weren't her first husband she already knew them when she married you. She sat back and did nothing to be a decent wife and was the worst human being knowing she would get the same financial payout as the woman who was an angel to her husband. If you didn't catch her having an affair with the men she met online at places like hifive.com or her online fan fiction communities, she was going to still get alimony when you divorced because of the income inequities that did not exist because of anything she sacrificed for you to earn money. If you think your wife didn't like sex or have fantasies you are ignorant. She has them and they likely don't involve you or anyone like you.
This whole scenario that started with your marriage is her living on the Marriage Scholarship and you are the Student loan company. Let me Explain.
When you got married and decided to have kids you gave your wife control of her future on your nickel even after the marriage ended. In addition to all the assets she will get despite contributing nothing, if she was smart enough to go from working full time to part time to stay at home mom before the divorce happens, you are going to be paying her lots of child support even if you are the rare man that gets equal custody of your kids. Your mind is racing right now as you look at your wife's employment choices or lack thereof since you got married. In North Carolina the difference between the child support payments on Schedule A versus Schedule B are so huge that women have real incentive to not agree to equal custody of kids. If you dont get so many overnight visits per year, you are on the wrong Schedule. If she along with even your own lawyers can convince you that you don't deserve or wont get equal custody from a Judge you will end up on the child support calculation grid with the wrong Schedule paying often more than 50% of your take home pay to a woman you don't even see any longer. Even with equal custody that you likely obtained only because you were forced to trial and you found things about your wife that might indicate mental illness, perversion, or the fact she isn't as good a mother as she pretends to be, you are still going to pay her every month because you achieved in life and she did not.
It gets even better in this great State of ours.
Once the majority of the marriage assets are given to her, the child support is calculated in a way to where the Court might not even say she can earn money further lining her pockets. Your wife must now time how long this shenanigan will last before she reluctantly returns to work. She will now finally do what she should have done and what you did before you got married and had kids. You completed a real education or trade and put yourself on a path to success while she used her looks to get men to meet the various needs of her youth. The Marriage Scholarship you unwillingly gave her will continue for years thanks to a local court system that does not make her work despite her 4 year college degree. With this freedom that will end in a few years even under the best of circumstances, she now enrolls in school to learn a new trade, a real trade. Over the next couple of years she might get a nursing degree or learn coding or something that gets her a job where she can actually pay her way better than she could when she made her pre marriage educational and job choices. This is an education or training you likely encouraged her to complete while you were married even volunteering from your busy schedule to watch the kids so she could do it. She basically laughed at you. She was already on Scholarship. The Marriage Scholarship. You didn't even know you were paying it out but you ignored it because your wife was pretty or you were the rare man in today's world who gets to have kids in what you think is a family environment. There are still a few men left today that think the 1950s were a great time in our society even though they werent alive during that time. Sadly Beaver Cleaver is pretty much dead and this dinosaur mindset as good as it is no longer exists.
Your wife being as smart as she is gets retrained in a way to where she starts earning money just as soon as even the worst man hating judge will stop her from living on your hard work post marriage will allow. Your ex gets trained to earn more money and now has an income after a late in life career change. The women who don't get married and have kids who want to get a career change often have to pay for school and work full time at an older time because they didn't do things when they were young. It is not easy for these women. Your wife is smarter than that however. Don't let her dead eyes and cold ways fool you. Once your wife completes her training, your child support might go down or it might not. You weren't given 2-4 years post divorce to take a break from working or try to change jobs and you are expected to keep earning. Dont lose your job or have your business fail. You will get no quarter from your wife or the courts while all her excused for being a lazy piece of garbage are embraced by the Court. You will be accused of suppressing your income when you try to get your child support reduced. The wife has cashed in and played you like a perfect fool all while lying to you, the court, her family, and her children. She loses no sleep while she surrounds herself with new friends who think she is amazing for overcoming a bad husband and can switch careers in her 40s all while living a big paid for house she got from her sorry, hard working husband in a divorce.
The Marriage Scholarship is one of the best educational tools for women in this country. If you are a man who is thinking of getting married or knows he will soon be getting divorced, you need to learn how to minimize these benefits your soon to be wife or ex wife is applying to receive. Remember she has lots of options when applying for these benefits. If the Scholarship you offer does not provide the benefits she could end up with a minority based Scholarship or even a same sex scholarship that has been made legal in some states. She could also get a Scholarship that lasts for life long after the kids have turned 18 because she put in the required time with you simply with her presence to make these life long benefits vest. The timing of her application is vital but if you don't think she knows all the terms and conditions upon applying you are a fool.
If you need help to minimize these benefits that you are going to pay now or in the future then you know who to call as we are an expert on Marriage Scholarships.
The Red Devil