Many men get married without understanding what they are risking. When they get married, they are giving control of almost their entire future to a woman. Once a man finishes school or has gotten started with his working life, his future is his health, his money, and his children. You turn these over to a woman the minute you get married.
Let me explain it in simple terms to get you thinking.....
If you get married and at some point decide to divorce your wife because of her bad behavior or you just want out, she is likely to end up with the marital home, the majority of the custody of your children, and you will be paying a good portion of your income to her for child support until they are considered adults by the State. There are rare men who get custody of their kids but don't leave your marriage thinking you are that rare guy because you are a great father and provider. A mom can be a porn addict and spend her days and nights being a webcam slut, writing volumes of porn stories with characters named after her children in them, or even selling marijuana out the back door of her house and if she appears to be a good mom, she isn't losing equal custody of her kids. If you as a man behaved perfectly and are clearly a good dad who your kids love, you literally need to show the court that your ex wife has issues or you will not get equal custody. The law that tells a judge that they " shall consider equal custody" is a joke. They do what they want based on their own whims and how you handle yourself in court. In Family court the law is just a guide for potential appeals for the rare man that has means to fight egregious decisions by Judges who do what they feel without real care or concern for what is right or in the best interest of the kids.
In addition to the loss of your money and your kids, your health will suffer. No man who goes through a divorce, even one of his own choosing, does so without physical or mental health issues for some period of time. There is no sympathy and the court and the ex still expects the child support and alimony payments to show up on time. A divorce is tough especially when you really love the person you are divorcing. The health issues are difficult and often lifelong if you do not get help or support. It is usually the men that suffer in silence while women throw divorce parties and brag to their friend how much they got unless they are the worst type of narcissist that plays victim to friends and families despite getting pretty much what they want from the family court system. Basically as a man you are stuck. If your marriage goes bad, you stay and are miserable or you leave and deal with all of the above. Obviously if you get married you do so believing you will hold up your end of the bargain and be a good husband and father to someone you love because you don't want to face divorce and all these losses. The belief that if you do all the things the marriage will not result in divorce is the first naïve step that leads a man to his destruction or the constant fear of his destruction because of the hypergamus nature of women. If he is completely uneducated about the whole process, it makes the reality of divorce even worse when it does happen.
After reading this far, why would any man consider marriage?
But it gets better...….
Once a man gets married, a woman can behave badly forcing you to leave or the more typical result is she just decides she wants out. You didn't do anything wrong. She still gets the house, the kids, and child support. She will still get alimony unless you have air tight proof of an affair. In other words, no matter how good of a husband, father, or provider you are, if she behaves badly or just got tired of you, she can leave and still gets all the cash and prizes. Alimony is just the bonus. She does not have to provide an explanation as to why she is leaving and has to prove nothing. She gets paid. Imagine the power a woman has over you if you are both aware of how this works. The minute a man says "I do", his wife is not required to do anything to keep the marriage in tact because she faces no penalties if it ends and is rewarded for her bad behavior. If a man is abusive, does not earn money, cheats, or is just an overall bad guy, it is not wrong for a woman to leave and she will be financially rewarded and taken care of by the State to the extent the father is destroyed. Does a man deserve such a harsh result for his bad behavior? That is for another conversation, but the bottom line it is protection for the woman when the man is at fault for the ending of a marriage.
This is different for a woman however. If she does all the bad things a man does ie cheat, is abusive(usually mental abuse which women are pros at), or just decides one day she wants to move on because she wants to be single ie start dating once she is legally separated, she still gets paid no matter how great her husband was in terms of behavior. There is no incentive for a woman to behave. If courts gave primary custody to men when marriages split up or eliminated alimony if the woman filed for divorce without proof of wrong doing, maybe women would have more incentive to behave better or not leave their marriage out of boredom.
Most men do not understand what risks they have once they get married. Unless he is the rare man that marries a high earning female, he faces all of these issues with the control belonging to the woman. If men would learn this before marriage and still wanted to get married, the right lawyer and coach can teach him how to protect his assets before saying I do while also teaching him to minimize his financial exposure in case the marriage goes bad. Men also need to learn how to get the information to eliminate alimony if his wife is a cheater or be aware that if she does not cheat she is going to get it even if she is educated and capable of working.
If a man does not want kids with the woman he is in a relationship with, he should not marry her under any circumstances. If he does want kids, which is most men, he needs to understand the ramifications of divorce and who has control of the marriage because of the scam in this State that is called "No Fault Divorce".
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10027 US Bus Hwy 70 West
Clayton, NC 27520