When Did You Realize You Had No Value?
When a man gets married, in most cases he feels like he has atleast some worth to his new wife. That value may also exist in the mind of his wife as well. When marriages start to go bad, how soon a man realizes he has no value to his wife will help him make decisions about his life sooner rather than later. Sadly most men do not realize at some point they have no value to their wives until way after she has emotionally discarded him.
In a society that places a premium on the value of women when compared to men, any man that wants a wife and family is facing an uphill battle not only to find one, but one that might care about him for a reasonable length of time. What most men fail to recognize is the womans motive in marrying him. If you are smart, you get married when you are young to woman who is also young. This might be the best chance for you to be her first choice and to delay the discarding that comes sooner when you marry later in life thinking you are holding out for a more mature or educated woman who knows your value because of all you did to become successful and mature before marrying. Getting married and having kids when young(don't ever marry if you do not want kids) does not mean it will last forever but doing so eliminates the heartache of knowing for sure you were not her first choice.
Delaying marriage creates a lot of problems for a man. Women spend more time sleeping with more men if they stay single, or if you marry a divorcee, you pay for the sins of her ex or her anger at losing a man she loved before she met you. If you marry a woman who has been married before, even if she didnt have kids, you weren't her first choice. You have appeared as the good guy to clean up her messes, or give her the family she wanted or even had with the man before you. This set up will lead to her discarding you soon after marriage. Even if you aren't marrying an older woman or a previously married woman, you will be discarded.
When a woman marries you, you are there for her financially or to provide children. While you might have fun and do stuff with her especially in the honeymoon phase, it will get old, she will want to spend more time with her girlfriends, and if she is really low quality she will have lots of male friends or maybe even a boyfriend on the side. You think there is nothing wrong because your kids are happy and your home seems so perfect to outsiders. As more time passes, the divorce kitty is building up, she is likely back in a career after being a stay at home mom, or its simply the fact she is tired of you. While she may be in the home with you every day, she left you long ago. Smart men figure this out, suffer the heartbreak and anger sooner rather than later, and get out of the marriage.
If a woman marries you soley for money or financial support, you should be able to see this sooner rather than later. At some point she does not even hide the fact shes about money and status. If you have kids with her and you are a good father, it is heartbreaking to see that once she had all the kids she wanted, she was done with you. This is especially obvious if you were her second husband. She didnt get kids with the first husband she loved and did not want to be an old maid. You arrived to rescue her and she faked her way through 2.5 kids with you. She got what she wanted and will time the blowing up of the marriage by either getting you to leave by her open indifference of your existance, or one day walking away because there is a guy stupider than you who wants to date a single mom because she has giant boobs. Sadly while the mother of your kids got bored with you, she does not realize her age and the fact she would rather be a single mom means she now faces a lifetime of men who only want sex from her and as she ages that demand goes away. She discarded you and that is all that matters.
Don't ever seriously date a single mom.
If you are in a marriage and facing a divorce, ask yourself honestly if you think your wife sees you as having any value to her. What does she do to support you, to encourage you, and to show genuine affection? Its probably little to none. When did her activities become the priority over time with you? When did she seem show more enthusiasm for men she is meeting with her hobbies or activities than she did for you, the father of her children? Take a step back and ask yourself these questions honestly.
Men think that because a woman marries him that she will always cherish and value him. Sadly its likely short lived and if you are marrying her in her 30s or in her after she was divorced from someone before you, the time she will value you is short lived as she only wants money or kids. Once you have provided those for her or shown that you cant, she is gone.
Men need to learn how to recognize the history of a woman before he ever thinks of marrying her or even dating her. If you want to build something serious with her you must be honest with yourself about where you fall or her scale of happiness or book of agendas. You are likely being used. Once a man recognizes this behavior, he can make better choices for his long term future. Realizing you were discarded long before the day she said she wanted a divorce or drove you to file for it is very heartbreaking. Men cannot change women, but when it comes to dealing with them, understanding their nature and motives before deciding what to do is vital.
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The Red Devil