It is a new year and a new decade, but life is going to continue to happen. For you men that are on the fence about decisions you need to make while wondering how these decisions will determine your life's path as you get older, it is important you understand where you are now based on your age and the life decisions you have made.
Lets look at the most important decade of your life when it comes to relationships.
As you enter your thirties, you are likely to be on multiple paths based on what you did in your twenties and these paths are more dangerous and fulfilling than the paths you were on in your twenties with decisions you make harder to fix or correct when compared to your younger years.
One path you may be on is that of a married man hopefully with children. If you got married in your twenties and do not have kids in your twenties you have defeated the purpose of giving up your youth and the fun that is your twenties. If you are married without kids, you better get started having them or get divorced because something is inherently wrong in your marriage if you are marrying young and not having kids. It may not show itself fully but people who get married young and don't have kids soon after will more than likely get divorced before they eventually decide to have kids. This is the worst possible path to be on as you enter your thirties.
Another path is married with atleast one young child hopefully two. This is the best path for a full life if you want children. This does not mean you are more likely to stay married and that you wont have issues with your spouse, but you are having a family and getting opportunities that only having kids can provide. As a younger family you will do more stuff, you will be more enthusiastic, and your kids will likely end up more social and often better especially if the have grandparents in the picture who can help out while they are still young and healthy. Finances will likely be a struggle but if you are ever going to have a woman be on your team and think about someone other than herself, it is when you are young. A woman's self centered behavior will increase as she ages and she is exposed to more smooth talking men bitter female friends who want her to fail. This is also your best chance to marry a good looking woman before you start to age.
If you are not married and want to be, as you get into this decade, it is going to get tougher for you. If you don't have a great paying job or are desirable to women beyond 90% of other men, your odds of getting married decrease as the decade moves forward. If you think you can just marry a woman 10 years younger when you want, that is a fantasy for the average guy. Men that are above average in looks and money don't have to worry as much when it comes to these analysis, but even the average or slightly above average guy is going to struggle to build a family as his thirties move forward. As you get into this decade of your life, you will find most of the desirable women are taken. With a society where 80% of women reproduce with 20% of men, if you think that waiting until your thirties to start finding a wife and building a family is the way to go because its all about getting your education etc before you settle down, plan on marrying a single mom or divorcee who is likely further along in the deterioration of her looks and is filled with bitterness. Women who make their thirties who are divorced or without having married are likely women with personality issues that are not going to make good wives and you will still ignore them thinking you will find some hottie in her twenties when you want.
One of the biggest mistakes I made was not getting married until I was 35 years old. This was not because I chose it to be this way. There are lots of factors that determine when you get married so development of your personality and awareness of life's path is important at a young age. While I didn't lack confidence and was well above average in looks, I failed at this for a variety or reasons. I met a girl the first year of college when I was 18. We dated until college ended which was not easy and while we didn't treat each other as well as we could have, there was no doubt love on both sides. My failure was not being an alpha male in terms of how I handled her and the opportunities that come with having a chance at meeting so many women when I was young and in my physical prime. I probably could have married her or once I realized she was not acting properly, I could have easily found another woman who was just as compatible who wanted a family when she was young. Instead I was complacent and didn't push for what needed to happen. It did not end well and we never spoke again. I look back at how I handled her and what she was allowed to do with cringe as I did everything wrong because I did not have a mentor or a lesson on how to maximize where I was at that time in life. While I seemed to be decisive in how I handled my career, I was a simp when it came time to getting and keeping a woman for anything long term. Women like attention and aggressive men can make your woman lose interest real quick if you dont show her you want a real future. If she is quality she will be responsive to you when there are feeling on both sides. By the time everything kicked in in my late twenties, it was not so easy to get married to a woman I felt worthy of what I brought to the table. Working in a small office and not being someone to socialize a lot made meeting people even harder. As online dating started to become a part of society that helped. Ultimately I met someone who was physically perfect to what I liked and who I thought would be a great mom, but she had been married before and brought many issues to the table that I chose to ignore because I was 35, not getting any better looking, and my dating pool simply was not where it was when I was in my twenties turning women down left and right without having to make much effort to get their attention. I was lucky beyond belief in that she got pregnant soon after marriage and we had two great kids before I realized that my life would end up worse then longer I stayed married to her. Many couples who marry later do not get so lucky and spend the last part of the decade in fertility clinics.
Life is about trades and bargaining in your thirties more so than any decade of your life and these trades are not made in your favor as you get older even if you are good looking man with a solid bankroll. When you want kids and you are in your thirties you will reek of desperation more than women in the same boat. You will end marrying a divorcee, a single mom, or a never married unattractive woman who likely does not have the personality to be a fun wife because she has little to no dating experience. If who you end up with is not on depression or anxiety medication at this stage of her life because of her own choices, you are the beyond lucky. If you do wait until this stage in your life to get married and try to build a family, getting kids is much harder for biological reasons. There is a lot that can go wrong. If you do have kids and assuming you are as likely to get divorced marrying in your thirties versus your twenties, the financial and emotional destruction is going to be much worse in your thirties. My divorce was so bad that I have not spoken to the mother of my kids since I walked out once I realized what my future was going to be had I stayed married. No divorce is friendly but the anger and wrath you face from a woman increases as she ages.
For every negative thing I have to say about my ex and the court system, the fact I did not get married until 35 is my own fault and I deserved what I got in terms of a partner because I ignored the damage done by her own choices and a prior husband. White Knight syndrome factored in with desperation does not allow for a good end game when it comes to trying to build a family after age 30. Getting two daughters who I am very close with and who I have real input into to their lives is worth all the failure and heartaches including the post thirties social opportunities that we will discuss in part three of this thread. As bad as the financial rape and parental alienation from the ex was, I was very lucky to win equal custody of them at trial simply because God blessed me with finding the ex wife's nasty marriage habits that not only justified me leaving my marriage despite my guilt for doing so, it gave me a real chance in court that most men don't get or wont fight for because of the cost and the legal system that tells them to take the every other weekend custody and be thankful for it. Equal custody is not automatic and women, especially women who have been married before, know this. I was forced to trial to get equal custody from a woman whose habits if they were mine would have caused me to get supervised visits at best. No matter the facts, these older women will punish you more for divorcing in their late thirties on up because they know that they are now single moms and they aren't as attractive as they were when they were young. If you think your social options are bad for meeting women when you are older, the older women know their options are even less and they are labeled as single moms which makes it even harder for them. Physically women do not age like men so they need their security protected so divorces for older people are a nightmare when kids are involved. Younger men need to be taught this so they can make decisions on life sooner rather than later.
In addition to your social and family issues as you enter your thirties, where you are in your career is also important. The paths are obvious and destructive if you make the wrong choices in your twenties.
If you spent your twenties not learning a trade, starting a viable business, or developing a reasonable career through post graduate education or with a company that offers some hope of stability as you age, you are going to look pretty stupid while men in your age group not only do well but get rich. While spending your twenties traveling and partying seems fun, by the time that decade ends you are tired of it and have nothing to show for it financially. You can start businesses that soon fail or advertise yourself to be more successful than you are to meet women, but as you enter your thirties, your ability to bs women about your lack of stability does not work or it does not allow you to end up with a quality woman. Your chances at male friendship also decrease as men isolate themselves more from others especially if they are not achieving like men of similar age. You will likely never marry, marry a single mom or divorcee, or find a low end woman way more likely than a man who gets a career and can use his stability to attract a woman. This a real problem.
By the time you hit your thirties you better be on a path with your career whatever it is with some level of stability. It certainly isn't easy to get married young and have kids while building a career, but this is the time to do it. It can be done and your physical strength and enthusiasm will be at your best. As you progress through your thirties, if you don't marry or have kids, your financial appearance only matters to you so get as rich as you can and enjoy life but to say you aren't more empty as you age no matter how wealth you are is just a big lie for 99% of men. If you do marry late despite no career or stability don't expect your wife to stick around long and you will be more likely to get divorced. If you are successful because of choices you made in your twenties, your life will be much better in your thirties because you can enjoy your older kids or provide stability to younger kids. This will also give you the best chance, albeit a small one, to get a decent woman or less damaged woman to have a family with during this decade of life. Your thirties are not designed to have it happen in this way.
If you married young and had kids in your twenties, it does not shield you from divorce, but if you do divorce, it is going to be a lot easier than a divorce in your forties or even fifties with kids who are not adults. If you marry young and divorce without kids, it is easier because assets are usually at a minimal and divorce is quick and not as expensive. People also tend to move on quicker when they divorce younger because it is easier to see more of life in front of you and begin again.
If you get married and have kids in your twenties and get divorced, this is tough and the drawback of getting married young. While divorce happens and preventing it for another discussion, if you divorce with kids at any point in your thirties you still have a huge advantage over men who will go through the same thing in their forties. The longer you make the marriage last the older your kids will be when you get divorce so your child support is near an end. This matters because you have not likely reached your maximum earning or built up many assets. When you marry and have kids in your twenties, even if you divorce, the odds are the financial hit will be less and you can still rebuild. One factor that men who marry and have kids young only to divorce is the fact they still have their kids and aren't back on the market trying to meet a woman to have kids. Nothing will destroy a mans self esteem more than a guy who does everything right in his twenties job wise, enjoys some fun during this time, and then hits his thirties thinking he will meet an awesome woman and have kids only to see that the type of woman he will meet is bitter, angry, divorced, undesirable, or mentally damaged beyond repair. You would rather stay single. The mindset that this great woman will just appear is a false dream that will lead you to a bad choice or a life post forty of no kids or raising another mans kids. Not having to worry about this makes life so much easier post divorce so use your twenties to make better decisions or you will pay for it in many ways in your thirties.
The worst thing you can do as a man is marry in your thirties because assuming divorce will happen, you are going to get financially destroyed in your forties and the payout will be at its max. While there are exceptions as to the extremes of wealth versus poverty and a mans looks, for the typical man who goes through life, your decisions are best made at certain times to allow for minimum damage and a maximum chance at recovery when it does happen.
As you think about where you are in life now, ask yourself what your future holds if you do nothing or if you make a bad mistake. In the next post, I will discuss men post 40 years old and how events in life shape them. These men might have more awareness, but the extremes of happiness versus sadness that they experience are very tough to overcome because your age is going to start to show even in the best case set up of how you live. No matter what your age, don't ignore what is going around you be it with your wife's behavior or your own choices or lack thereof.
Getting advice from the right people, especially if divorce is an option you have ignored, is vital.
Awareness is one of the best traits a man can have. The sooner a man becomes aware of himself and others around him, the less mistakes in life he makes while also avoiding long term interaction with low quality women and people. Awareness is usually obtained through our experience which resulted from maximum damage because of bad choices whether it be to our physical or mental health or our pocketbook. Every man should have a father or at least a male role model who will teach him the things in life that are needed to get the awareness necessary to live a full happy life.
Sadly we have gone from a society based on the marriage model with mom and dad both in the home doing what they were both expected to do to raise and protect their family to broken homes where fewer kids have male role models and too many are being raised by single moms who think they are better at raising children then even top level men who any child would be blessed to have as a father. Each of these models have created problems for men and this needs to be fixed because women are more than happy to ruin a family for their personal gain now more so than ever.
I was raised in the marriage model. My parents stayed married their whole lives and my dad was awesome. He did everything he could for me and gave me opportunities he did not have because his hard work allowed my mom to be at home and be the emotional support that we need day to day growing up. This balance combined with an instilled work ethic helped me essentially to turn out like my dad but with more opportunity. For as good as he was, my father did not teach me the ways of women and what I needed to do from a social standpoint to develop interaction skills needed to be better than most of the kids and young people I would meet. This is not a fault of his its just he was a dad in a time in the world where there was no internet and he was taught to work hard say as little as possible no matter who did him wrong. His background with no father didn't help. My mother was not like today's women in that she was not looking for someone better and for the most part respected my dad because he did what he was supposed to do as the man of the house. Were they both happy in their marriage for the duration? Probably not. However, they did what they believed was the right thing to do when it came to their family. This mindset is not part of today's world like it was 40-50 years ago.
The modern day family model is filled with information about social interaction because women no longer value men like my father. They are more self centered, more liberal, and always looking for better even when married to good men. With more divorces and women benefiting from them, families are destroyed and kids are left to their own because of fatherless households. Women who behave in a way that promotes divorce are still marrying men that were sons of men like my father who were not told the way of the new modern day woman. Divorce rapes are therefore up and men are getting knowledge too late. They are not able to have full interaction with their own sons who now rely on the internet and men they don't know to teach them about women often leading to disaster and uncertainty. There are now going to be less marriages for at least a generation until men can educate themselves from a young age and learn how to manage female behavior while making life choices to give them a best chance at a family life. Men must have the awareness of what to do when their wife goes off the rails for the same reasons most of them do at some point. I didnt expect my gorgeous wife to be a fan fiction porn addict and there was nothing I could have done but I certainly wished I had to the knowledge how to face the end of my marriage rather than stick my head in the sand.
If you are a young man without a real father figure who will talk to you about everything you need to know and are relying on people on the internet to get information, make sure you are getting information from men who are giving advice that is not detrimental to you building a family or promoting male hatred of women at a young age. For example, if your source of information is a man who got married and had kids is telling you not to marry or have kids, then I would not listen to that person. If a man has never married and has no kids and thinks he is the smartest man in the room because he does not have to deal with divorce, child support, and has all this time to fish and play with his dog, then that is not normal no matter how messed up this world gets. This person simply chose not to play a big portion of life and he should not be giving advice to anyone when it comes to women and family.
I was divorce raped for a lot of reasons and while I am certainly filled with hate and resentment towards the woman I married, instead of just turning into a bitter person who tells everyone not to marry or have kids, I wanted to provide insight in a way that young men can get genuine realistic advice while also helping men who are now in a bad marriage figure out the best way to leave it and deal with emotions of it while also maintaining the strength to fight for equal custody of their kids. This will continue to be my goal because we as men need to develop the next generation of men to handle these women that have gotten out of control in terms of the way they see things and how they have devalued men. My lack of knowledge and a father figure to teach me what I needed to be aware of was a big reason I didn't marry well into my thirties thus setting me up to get destroyed by a woman who was also in her thirties, previously married, and unable to pair bond making me nothing but a wallet to pay for our kids she wanted me to have no part in raising once the veil of who she was came off. I don't want any man to have to go through that even if I feel very lucky to have been able to even get married to a pretty woman who wasn't a single mom which is what is waiting for most men who delay marriage.
To help you understand what I am trying to teach men before marriage, men who are married, and men now getting ready to go through the divorce wars, I am going to give you a brief outline of what men of all ages need to be aware of while growing up and what to consider as they navigate life and age so they can maximize their happiness of life without being a bitter non participating type because they read the negativity that exists in the manosphere and from divorce lawyers who tell you to settle your battle and except 4 overnights a month with your kid so they can bank a quick fee.
From Birth until age 18
Every young man should be taught the importance of social skills and the maximizing of their physicality from the day he can walk. He should be put into social groups with other kids and wear the best stylistic clothes he can while making sure he is groomed well at all times. Sports should be emphasized and young men should be able to talk to every type of person with comfort. This does not mean you have tons of friends or hang out with people that don't share your values. It means you should not be afraid of people from all different backgrounds and races. Learn who others are cultivate friendships while avoiding people who do not meet your standard or who are into bad things. Young men should learn habits of working out and staying in shape. How this is handled varies but it should be a part of your life even if you don't have the talent to make a varsity team. Keep playing all sports and keep getting stronger. You will fit somewhere and you will maximize your talent and enjoy a better social circle. If sports are not your thing, try learning an instrument and forming a band. Learn languages. Start a business selling stuff on Ebay. Learn how to make and save money. Do not drink or smoke and have the courage to be different by telling people that you dont drink or wont smoke that joint. While you need to enjoy life you don't need to be eating junk food all day while you play video games or surf the internet in chat rooms while sitting in your room all day often not showering before you go to school in army clothes or dressed in black purposely isolating yourself at a time when you need to interact and learn about people. While we all played video games as kids, today they are spending way too much time on them and are not outside being athletic, playing their music, or learning a language. How you spend your time will vary but you want to be doing things that make you appear attractive to women and make men want to be your friend. Its a true art to do these things without advertising yourself and becoming arrogant. If you achieve all these things with a look at me attitude you will certainly attract people but they will be the wrong people. Humility, strength, and off the chart talent should be the goal of every young man and if you are a father of one, you need to know how to teach your son all these things.
(We will discuss how to be a top notch father of daughters in another post as I am the father of two of them and they are awesome in large part because of the knowledge I give them).
Good habits are formed young and if you are a young man, it is not too early to learn these things so you can develop the social skills that are ultimately going to lead to good health, happiness, and give you best chance of finding a good woman to be your wife and have kids.
While the ideas noted for a younger man seem like common sense, as you get into your twenties, there is a much more wide range of views on how to live your life and how to interact with women. There are men that will tell you to sleep with as many women as possible, don't even think of getting married until after 30, and travel the world. If you are going to have a career they say do something that you love rather than something that makes you a living or even rich. You don't want to waste the prime of your life.
I don't agree and my thoughts while simple, are much different and sadly formed off of my own regrets and lack of desire to be social because I did not do a good job in my teen years forcing myself to be more athletically involved and more social despite having the skills to do so. If you don't develop good habits as a young man you will delay important decisions as you get older and end up in bad positions even if everything falls into place later in life.
When you are in early your twenties you need to get a four year college degree. There are those who say college is worthless now and all it does is create debt etc. This may be true but a solid education can be obtained inexpensively which for most people help you get better opportunity. You can work and go to school but get that degree. You don't go to a no name college and get a degree in basket weaving for 25k a year in tuition. If you can get into a top college don't run away from that opportunity. If you can get into Duke or an Ivy League you go. I would take out those loans. For most kids you go to community college for a couple years and transfer to a good state school if you aren't yet finding path. A four year degree with a quality major from North Carolina State is well worth the price and even a little debt but creativity can cause you to graduate debt free even if you dont have the college experience your parents did. If you aren't that type for college, learn a skill and go to trade school. Get a plumbing license and learn how to run a business. You can get rich with these skills. There are lots of paths to take and most kids aren't sure what they want to do. Get your college degree and don't take out huge loans if you can avoid it and do not go to a no name private school with crazy tuition. If you have a talent or invent a product that requires full time work and you can make big money, don't go to college now. You can go later. You are the exception. Maximize that opportunity. My point is don't skip college because people are telling you not to go because of debt or that degrees are worthless. Have a plan. If you are like most kids just get your degree and sort things later. Youth is on your side.
Another piece of advice I give young men is to get married young if you can. This is made easier if you developed the social skills and confidence growing up with the guidance of a good father. If you spent your first 18 years inside not keeping yourself clean and just being a fat loser, you aren't ready for marriage as a younger man. However if you had a father or mentor teach you what to do when young, then you will understand what I am saying.
Getting married at a young age for a man makes sense for a multitude of reasons unless you do not want kids. If you don't want kids, don't ever get married. If you do, have them young and be glad you found a woman you love who wants to do the same. You fall in love when you are young, not when you are old. Getting married is not an easy task at a young age in today's world so don't think it does not require awareness to spot the young lady that sees things like you do. Remember women are at their peak sexual marketplace value in their twenties. If you are an older guy reading this, think of all the beautiful girls you knew as a younger man. They aren't around anymore and while you are waiting in to your thirties to marry they are spending their twenties having a lot of fun and marry you because they need your security. They aren't going to pair bond with you in their thirties after having sex with hundreds of guys in their twenties.
I fell in love with a gorgeous girl when I was 18. I was not mature the way I should have been even if I was considered mature by others. That girl loved me too even if other issues existed that should have ended the relationship long before we graduated college where marriage was discussed but I wasn't mature enough to push for as maybe I should have. Love makes you want to put out an effort. Would we have ended up divorced if we had married ? Probably. This likelihood is no more likely than if I had married her in my thirties. If she had waited that long she wouldn't be what she was in her twenties and as we age, my sexual marketplace value goes up while hers goes down and the chance of divorce rape goes up. Do not think for a minute that you need to wait to get married at 35 and some 22 year old will pick you. She wont but if she does, its because she has learned how to divorce rape at a young age not because you are some awesome catch who did everything right. Most people marry those near their own age for the first time. If you can meet a beautiful girl whose youth and ability to love matches yours, get married and build a life. If you think life is about spending your twenties sleeping with a lot of women it is not. If you can lock down a pretty girl who you love, you do it. Hopefully you are marrying someone of quality and you need be careful with your choices but if you meet one that is good, don't let the relationship die because you believe you are too young to marry and have a family.
Once you get married, don't be afraid to have kids. Get it done. Yes you want to enjoy the fun things of youth with just your spouse but if you are a man who wants kids and you feel you were lucky enough to get married to a girl who sees things the same as you do, have your kids and deal with all the economic and maturity issues that come with having kids in your twenties versus your thirties. You will have fun as a family doing things. Will you be a better dad in your thirties? Maybe. However, if you build your life right, you can be a good parent at a young age. Remember you are having kids with a woman while she is in her prime and capable of love. You are the lucky one. Most girls in their twenties look their best and love attention. They don't want to marry. If you found a quality one that will marry you, do not hesitate and have your kids.
Getting married in your twenties does not mean it will last and it does not mean there will be no problems because you are young and in love. What is does mean beyond the physical is also the economic. If you are getting married at any age, assume you will get divorced and begin to prepare for it and protect yourself. For all the ways you can do that, it is much easier to do when you don't have anything. While you want to make money as soon as possible, odds are you will be finishing school, building a business, or in the early stages of your career while in your twenties. Your bank roll will be low in your twenties. As you move into your thirties, the kids are getting older and can be more self sufficient which allows your wife to grow her career balancing the income or if not, you are that much closer to the end of child support years when the divorce happens in your mid to late thirties. If you divorce in a typical time frame that divorce happens, your financial payout will be less if you marry and have your kids young. You will also be young enough post divorce to enjoy many different women and you wont feel pressure to find a wife in your thirties so you can have kids. You are now in your prime, you have your kids, and while any divorce is not good, it is more easily managed as a younger man that an older man especially one who is successful financially.
No one wants to get divorced and if you are the lucky one who gets to be married 40 plus years and be happy you will be more fulfilled than if you just waited to do it in your thirties.
If you think I am wrong on this analysis, in part two of this timeline, you will learn the lessons of men who waited to get married until their thirties or were unable to get married at all.......
Make 2020 your best year and get the knowledge and mentorship from the right men, preferably your father, while you are young.
I know you remember that girl you dated in college or met soon after you both graduated. You probably married her. She is probably playing on her computer in another room right now as you read this contemplating how and when to divorce her. You might even be too chicken to divorce her but you wake up wondering each day when she is going to walk out on you now that she feels empowered by her hypergamus nature or her friends and neighbors who want her to suffer the misery they suffered because they failed in their own marriages and don't want to see others happy.
When you married her she probably had dropped out of college or had this meaningless liberal arts degree that couldn't get her a meaningful job that she didnt feel was beneath her other than school teacher. She likely hated it or couldn't even handle it and quit soon after starting the line of work she told everyone she was going to have once she finished school. Her desire to save the world suddenly changed to her own personal desire for survival because she knew she couldn't do anything but live paycheck to paycheck on her own in some crappy apartment. She then either doubled down with a worthless graduate degree or got a customer service job that she couldn't deal with because she hated people and the sexual harassment she faced from her boss if she was lucky because she was attractive. If she was fat or ugly she would soon morph into an even more open left leaning and man hating woman who suddenly had to suppress her desire for kids because life wasn't working out for her the way she thought it would. If she had student debt that only made her more angry.
Somewhere in her personal evolution she met you, the blue pilled white knight.
Your path was a bit different. You might have gotten a worthless liberal arts degree as well but you knew that more work had to be done. If you weren't smart enough to major in something that could get you a real job upon graduation, you got more education and a career path that could ultimately lead to a chance at real difference making income. If you weren't academically inclined, maybe you learned a trade and started a business where you made more money building it and working it than any over educated man who thought he was special because he had a business or law degree. You were making something of yourself but as is true with most men, you wanted a family. You wanted kids and to have a wife you loved and could take care of as men do. What you asked for in return was minimal and you soon saw the women you married had no interest in your needs despite all you did for her. Through this early journey in life you showed your success and the woman you are married to now and about ready to divorce saw you for your success or even your potential. She knew she was never going to achieve your success but unlike you, she could use her looks to get what you both wanted but only with different motives. She wasn't going to make an effort to build a career or work hard until she knew she couldn't get a man or that the man she did get was no longer going to pay for her life. While there are women who walk the same path you did and became successful earning their own way, those women were so rare and maybe not marriage material until they reached 35-40 and realized they needed to have some babies. These women were awesome and you probably met some but she was as driven as you and was not going to settle down until she achieved what she wanted often to her own detriment and regret.
You weren't going to wait around any longer for what you hoped to meet so you married your wife, the woman who is not paying any attention to you now and probably hasn't for years while she spends her free time playing on her computer doing anything from playing solitaire, to posting stuff on Facebook about your perfect looking kids, or your biggest fear, she is talking to other men or being sexual in ways online that she never even thought of doing with you. Maybe she is talking to the men she met at her gym or for activities she signed up for to get out of the house. Maybe she is addicted to porn or writing fan fiction where she shares her stories of Harry Potter characters having graphic sex in ways that if she would do those acts with you your marriage would not be near its end. Your mind races with possibilities about what she is doing online or out of the house while you continue to work to support your growing family. You know what each of you is contributing to the marriage and that it is grossly unequal, but you cannot decide what to do. Will you keep living this way? Her indifference is obvious despite the credit card she uses without limits.
While you wonder how everything got to this point as you relive your past of meeting this woman you thought was awesome to getting married to having kids to finally waking up to see what has happened, what you finally realize and likely too late is that your wife is smarter than you are and she controlled all the cards of your financial future and time with your kids the minute you said "I do" and allowed the State to control your life.
Once you get married, ask yourself what your wife was and how she evolved. She realized she wasn't going to be successful financially so she picked you because she saw you were or were going to earn better than she ever could. She had kids as soon as possible after your marriage so she could quit the job she hated or so she could work part time choosing her hours like she had some kind of control over what she did or didn't do workwise. Your success enabled her hidden sense of entitlement. She watched you work harder and harder while she spent more and more. Sex reduced drastically and the disdain she had for you became more open instead of hidden because she envied who you were knowing she never could be the person you are or achieve what you have achieved. In between her misery and self hating fits of narcisism she learned the divorce laws. If you weren't her first husband she already knew them when she married you. She sat back and did nothing to be a decent wife and was the worst human being knowing she would get the same financial payout as the woman who was an angel to her husband. If you didn't catch her having an affair with the men she met online at places like hifive.com or her online fan fiction communities, she was going to still get alimony when you divorced because of the income inequities that did not exist because of anything she sacrificed for you to earn money. If you think your wife didn't like sex or have fantasies you are ignorant. She has them and they likely don't involve you or anyone like you.
This whole scenario that started with your marriage is her living on the Marriage Scholarship and you are the Student loan company. Let me Explain.
When you got married and decided to have kids you gave your wife control of her future on your nickel even after the marriage ended. In addition to all the assets she will get despite contributing nothing, if she was smart enough to go from working full time to part time to stay at home mom before the divorce happens, you are going to be paying her lots of child support even if you are the rare man that gets equal custody of your kids. Your mind is racing right now as you look at your wife's employment choices or lack thereof since you got married. In North Carolina the difference between the child support payments on Schedule A versus Schedule B are so huge that women have real incentive to not agree to equal custody of kids. If you dont get so many overnight visits per year, you are on the wrong Schedule. If she along with even your own lawyers can convince you that you don't deserve or wont get equal custody from a Judge you will end up on the child support calculation grid with the wrong Schedule paying often more than 50% of your take home pay to a woman you don't even see any longer. Even with equal custody that you likely obtained only because you were forced to trial and you found things about your wife that might indicate mental illness, perversion, or the fact she isn't as good a mother as she pretends to be, you are still going to pay her every month because you achieved in life and she did not.
It gets even better in this great State of ours.
Once the majority of the marriage assets are given to her, the child support is calculated in a way to where the Court might not even say she can earn money further lining her pockets. Your wife must now time how long this shenanigan will last before she reluctantly returns to work. She will now finally do what she should have done and what you did before you got married and had kids. You completed a real education or trade and put yourself on a path to success while she used her looks to get men to meet the various needs of her youth. The Marriage Scholarship you unwillingly gave her will continue for years thanks to a local court system that does not make her work despite her 4 year college degree. With this freedom that will end in a few years even under the best of circumstances, she now enrolls in school to learn a new trade, a real trade. Over the next couple of years she might get a nursing degree or learn coding or something that gets her a job where she can actually pay her way better than she could when she made her pre marriage educational and job choices. This is an education or training you likely encouraged her to complete while you were married even volunteering from your busy schedule to watch the kids so she could do it. She basically laughed at you. She was already on Scholarship. The Marriage Scholarship. You didn't even know you were paying it out but you ignored it because your wife was pretty or you were the rare man in today's world who gets to have kids in what you think is a family environment. There are still a few men left today that think the 1950s were a great time in our society even though they werent alive during that time. Sadly Beaver Cleaver is pretty much dead and this dinosaur mindset as good as it is no longer exists.
Your wife being as smart as she is gets retrained in a way to where she starts earning money just as soon as even the worst man hating judge will stop her from living on your hard work post marriage will allow. Your ex gets trained to earn more money and now has an income after a late in life career change. The women who don't get married and have kids who want to get a career change often have to pay for school and work full time at an older time because they didn't do things when they were young. It is not easy for these women. Your wife is smarter than that however. Don't let her dead eyes and cold ways fool you. Once your wife completes her training, your child support might go down or it might not. You weren't given 2-4 years post divorce to take a break from working or try to change jobs and you are expected to keep earning. Dont lose your job or have your business fail. You will get no quarter from your wife or the courts while all her excused for being a lazy piece of garbage are embraced by the Court. You will be accused of suppressing your income when you try to get your child support reduced. The wife has cashed in and played you like a perfect fool all while lying to you, the court, her family, and her children. She loses no sleep while she surrounds herself with new friends who think she is amazing for overcoming a bad husband and can switch careers in her 40s all while living a big paid for house she got from her sorry, hard working husband in a divorce.
The Marriage Scholarship is one of the best educational tools for women in this country. If you are a man who is thinking of getting married or knows he will soon be getting divorced, you need to learn how to minimize these benefits your soon to be wife or ex wife is applying to receive. Remember she has lots of options when applying for these benefits. If the Scholarship you offer does not provide the benefits she could end up with a minority based Scholarship or even a same sex scholarship that has been made legal in some states. She could also get a Scholarship that lasts for life long after the kids have turned 18 because she put in the required time with you simply with her presence to make these life long benefits vest. The timing of her application is vital but if you don't think she knows all the terms and conditions upon applying you are a fool.
If you need help to minimize these benefits that you are going to pay now or in the future then you know who to call as we are an expert on Marriage Scholarships.
One of the first things I heard from people involved in my divorce process for all the bad things that were done to me by my wife was that it was my fault, I married her. This angered me even more as I wondered how I was responsible for what was done or for not noticing the type of person I married. This type of belief may be said in jest by others including your own lawyer but ultimately it is said without thought to shame men into taking responsibility their part in the ending of the divorce.
Contrary to popular belief, it does not take two to divorce. One persons behavior can be the sole cause of divorce. That does not mean that the other person is behaving properly all the time. We all do things that can frustrate our partners, but that is the day to day life of marriage which does not cause divorce. Divorce is caused over major things related to sex, money, infidelity, addictions, and overall lack of respect. If one partner behaves in a way related to these areas and you choose to leave, that does not mean you are responsible for the divorce and do not let any person or lawyer tell you that you need to take responsibility for your part in the divorce when you did nothing wrong and acted in a way for years that a good woman would value and appreciate. Remember 25% of marriage do not end in divorce so you have a one in four chance of meeting a quality woman and building a family and a legacy. Bad women should not be let off the hook and men need to change the narrative rather than except blame because society and the divorce system expects you to simply because you are the man. This is very similar to the mindset we have created in society that says black people cannot be racist. Ignoring the reality continues to help keep society divided.
If you behaved in a bad way and are getting divorced, then you need to accept what you did and suffer the consequences. If you cheated or disrespected your wife to the point the relationship went bad, then you as a man need to ask yourself why you are now in the position of divorce rape and minimal custodial time with your kids. Divorce punishes men no matter who is at fault, but if you are the cause of the breakup of your marriage and family, quite frankly you deserve whatever you get in divorce court when it comes to the loss of money. However if your wife was the cause of the breakup, even if her fault is not going to get you more of your assets, you should not be shamed into accepting that you did anything to cause the divorce. This shaming is done to keep you from fighting for what you have earned and to accept a less than equal custody schedule of your kids. This keeps the divorce industry moving forward smoother and gets men to believe they are at fault for a divorce when more often than not it is women who are the sole cause of them majority of divorces in this country.
The woman you marry is the same woman you divorce unless you get married when you are very young and even then then change is minimal. In most situations they do not change who they are from the time they meet you until the time they divorce. This is especially true the older your wife is when you marry her. While you should marry at a younger age and deal with the rough patches of growth that occur when living life in your twenties, if you marry a woman older than 30, you are marrying who and what she is and will be the rest of her life. The question is how long she can hide it to meet get her agenda met. As a man you have to be able to figure out if it is a bad woman early on before you marry her and distance yourself from her no matter how big her breasts are or how good she is in the sack. This is not easy and made even more difficult if you have delayed having children until after age 30. A mans decision, either intentional or not, to have kids late in life is going to increase the likelihood he will marry a bad woman who will destroy you emotionally and financially.
If the woman you marry is virtuous and understands what it is to be a wife from everything to raising kids, being loyal, not acting like a whore, and dealing with you openly and honestly, while you still may end up being divorced, your divorce is not likely to result from her suddenly behaving in ways that showed a part of her character that she hid from you when you met, dated, and even early on in the marriage. A marriage can be both parties fault but if it the result of her actions or lack thereof, you should not be trained into thinking you did anything wrong and keep the mindset to fight with everything you have to win a proper custody and financial result. If you have a good lawyer, they will encourage this fight. Most will simply tell you you wont get equal custody of your kids and the money is lost. You are getting divorced because you no longer want to live a life of defeatism so watch who you have in your life as you start the divorce process both personally and professionally.
If you are early in the process of your divorce, ask yourself honestly why you are divorcing. If your wife left you and you didn't do anything that involved cheating, abuse, or day to day disrespect, you left because she does not want to be married to you and either has a boyfriend or wants to be alone with the kids why you pay all her bills. She knows there is a reward for her for divorcing regardless of fault.
The scary woman is the one who you married while she pretended to be something she wasn't. She may have pretended to be virtuous and respectful, but instead she had secrets. These secrets are best hidden from the traditional man. You might be at work all day while your wife is staying at home with the kids. She does not keep the house clean and uses excuses about why she wont have sex with you. You don't feel a genuine welcoming from her when you come home and it is clear her kids are her priority even if she isn't that good of a mom. She can keep this facade going for as long as she needs while she drives you to leave. You wonder what you are doing wrong as you basically take care of her while you build a foundation for the two of you to enjoy once the kids are out of the house. You know something isn't right but you just cant put your finger on it. She is on the computer all the time and has her alcohol bottles hidden in the kitchen cabinet thinking you don't notice it. She has valued her friends more than you and her eyes light up when she sees other men yet you are looked at with disdain because you cant be that wild crazy non responsible man that she wants to hang out with but not be with in public around her family. She is living a double life. Her lies are used to cover lies. Even the biggest beta man can see something is wrong. She isn't going to change and the more she gets away with the worse her behavior. You are now stuck. You have kids and have worked hard but your partner is basically showing herself the more locked in you are to her financially. She isn't going anywhere as long as she can do what she wants because you pay the bills and avoid her because you despise what she has become. She also knows you aren't going to leave even though your marriage has become a farce and she has an agenda to maximize her stability, the stability of the kids, and the financial payout.
As you think about these things, how much of this applies to your marriage? You don't even know all the secrets. It is probably worse than you think it is. You know why your wife hasn't left yet even though she clearly sees you as no longer necessary to her life. At some point you leave and it shocks her and now she plays victim and makes up all sorts of stories to justify blaming you for the divorce. Your friends take her side because she is the story teller. Is your lawyer asking you to take blame for what you probably did even though he or she has never really listened and likely does not care about the dynamics of your marriage? You are trained to take the blame for the ending of a marriage you gave everything to put your family first. When this becomes your mindset you will soon find yourself agreeing to pay out too much money to your ex and settle for every other weekend custody.
If you screwed up your marriage by cheating or being an insecure bully, accept responsibility, settle the money part quickly, and fight for equal custody of your kids. If you arent that guy and it turns out you married a narcisistic woman who maybe was an alcoholic or a computer addict who valued others over what you provided because you aren't the tatooed up guy who is the life of the party with all sorts of stories, don't accept blame for what she did. If your wife is pretty she can fool you. She can pretend to be anything she wants to get you to be with her even if she never cared about you. You will wake up one day and handle it accordingly but do not ever take blame for your divorce when you handled your business like a boss. We all can be more exciting and fun etc but no matter how much you improved in those areas it likely isn't who you are and your wife would still want attention elsewhere.
Instead of letting others steer you into taking responsibility for what your sorry wife did, be glad you initiated the divorce and found the courage to get rid of your wife. She is the sorry piece of garbage you think she is. The problem you need to focus on is the wife who is going to feel scorned because she misread your courage to get divorced. The scorned woman will make one or more of her children pay for her failures and unhappiness. You are going to face battles over social, educational, and medical issues with your kids and expect her to take one of them and begin to destroy her self esteem and development. The will be give IEP plans at school and medication prescribed by a doctor who cares nothing about these young patients he prescribes medicine. This is your fight and for you to fight the post initiation of the divorce you need to be strong and not be shamed into a your the bad guy who caused your divorce.
Be strong gentleman and fight for yourself and be proud of how you handled your business as a man. Dominating your household and taking care of a family is a sign of strength and true manliness. Once you realize your wife is using the system to take advantage of you because of her own self hate, make your own life, enjoy your freedom, and do positive things for your kids while you fight the ex wife's attempt at their destruction because she is already a failed woman who you happened to cross paths with at the wrong time in life.
'As a man gets older, if he has any confidence, he looks forward to his time alone. His family and work responsibilities may not allow him he wants for himself. If he is blessed with a great wife and kids, he really does not mind. However, when things go bad in his marriage, or he feels taken advantage of to the point it seems he is nothing but an emotional or financial crush for someone who shows no love or respect, he has to make life changing decisions or accept what is being done to him which can speed up aging or the development of bad habits or addictions.
As men become more aware of the nature of women through experience and Red Pill education, there is quite a movement for men to just avoid the relationship and interaction and not play the game. This concept of MGTOW(Men Going Their Own Way) certainly has value, but we as men, especially those who have been through a marriage, divorce, and all the female behavior designed to isolate us from our money and our children, have to be careful how we implement this concept in our own lives and even more careful when it comes to giving advice to younger men.
There is nothing worse than a married man, or a man who has children and has been married, to tell a young man to be MGTOW or never get married or have kids. There are too many men with a wealth of knowledge who arent practicing what they preach. This advice they give can be meaningful and save men much heartache, but it is misguided and not coming from a place of hypocrisy. It is like your dad telling you not to smoke while continues to smoke two packs a day or someone who has never lost a child giving you advice on how to handle the grief of losing a child. This does not mean MGTOW is a bad concept or a way of life for loser men who have given up or cant get women. On the contrary, there are many men who live this lifestyle who can get women easier then men who are younger and better looking but they choose to be isolated. MGTOW however is never a good way of life for a young man who hears the stories of older men who lost their wives, families, and money to a system. As someone who experienced this, I would never tell young men to be MGTOW.
Any normal man should want a wife and kids no matter how bad things are in the court system and with female nature. If you think otherwise or encourage young men not to pursue some of life's joys because of what might happen down the road, you are giving bad advice especially if you are coming from a place of having been married and someone who had kids. I married a horrible woman and went through a bad divorce where I watched a system rape me of everything yet I would not tell a young man not to get married or have kids. The two biggest blessings of my life are the two daughters I got from my marriage. Despite the attempts at alienation I was lucky enough to overcome it and enjoy a relationship with them that I would bet is better than the one they have with their mother. Even if I had the knowledge I have now as an older man, if I had simply chosen the MGTOW lifestyle and never married or had kids, i would be in a position of many men I know my age who for all the money they have, are very unfulfilled men. For my lack of awareness until my divorce rape, I always knew I wanted kids from a young age and not having them would have caused more anger than all the anger I have from how I was treated by my wife and the court system. The advice that you dont need to get married to have kids is also a bit misguided. It creates a new set of problems that is for another conversation and not likely to lead to proper development of kids even when compared to kids of divorce.
MGTOW however is an important and valuable concept for divorced men with kids or even older men who are not in a relationship and struggle to find female attention. MGTOW men are not men who cannot get women and are usually the smartest men on the ways of women. They have chosen to not deal with female behavior and this can be an enlightening way of life that allows for clear thinking and financial happiness. The older I get, the less time I want to spend with women and I value my alone time. A man who gets divorced after a long marriage or one that involves kids often makes a big mistake and jumps in to another marriage or relationship. With age comes the desire to overcompensate so more money can be spent or more aggressive approaches are used to get the females attention and that makes a man even more susceptible to being taken advantage of by women who simply want a mans money. The older a man gets, the less value he has to a woman. Men can use their money to buy the attention of youth and that is fine if you know why you are doing it and that the woman could care less about you, but older women, even those with money and some of their looks from youth, have very little appeal to men other than as a older woman fetish that does not last. Women do better at being alone than men however as we age. Therefore the MGTOW concept is a way of understanding and practicing how to live a life as a man without the company of women because it makes him happier day to day. It is not a way of life that loser men celebrate because they cannot do well in the sexual marketplace. Embrace it as you need to as an older man but dont let it rule your life because you are trying to show women that you are finally on to their ways.
I cannot emphasize enough how important it is for young men as early as age 16-18 to understand the nature of women so they can learn to control the narrative of their interactions with them. You are only young once and if you can develop the confidence needed to deal with women you are going to be very successful in all aspects of life. As a young man I was as good looking and athletic as you can ask for and walked with an air of confidence that attracted many women to me. I had so many advantages that other guys my age did not have yet I had a long term girlfriend who treated me like crap for years and I was too insecure to do anything about it. I didnt have the confidence to walk away. I was as blue pilled as you get. While men dont come in to who the are until about age 26, with some guidance as a younger man I could have made better decisions and found a female who would have been better for me. Instead my insecurities pushed back the time I felt I could get a great wife and have a family. Even with everything going right outside of dating, I was unable to find a wife and the next thing you know you are on the other side of 30 trying to marry a decent woman and have a family. The end result was a bad choice that I paid for in so many ways. You do not want to get married at age 35. If not for the ability to get pregnant quickly I may not have even gotten kids. If I had been educated as a young man(my father was clueless and he was from a generation where people married young and stayed married so you didnt need to know about women as you were staying married no matter what absent very weird events), then I would have been able to use my blessings to become more confident and maybe find a wife and have kids at a young age.
Even if you are able to learn what you need to as a young man, there is still a 80% chance your marriage will end in divorce or you will be stuck in misery because you wont leave your wife. You need to be able to handle things once you do get divorced and MGTOW is a great perspective and way of life. A man who lives this life post divorce is not a loser or an angry man. He is an aware man. He can enjoy his life on his own terms and have occasional interaction with women without having to be in a relationship. It is really the ideal lifestyle post divorce or once you realize you are not going to have kids. We do need to be careful how we encourage this lifestyle though. It is not for young men and never should be advocated by men who are married with kids when talking to younger men. We as a country need to encourage families and getting started when we are young. Men need to learn about the nature of women so we can make better decisions at a time in life so if divorce happens, it is happening when we are younger which means less financial loss, or at a time when kids are grown and their is no custody battle. Divorce is never good and while it is tough for a man to lose his money to a woman, the fight over kids and the crazy child support that comes with divorcing with young kids destroys so much more.
Think about who and where you get your advice. Understand where you are in life and that MGTOW has its place in our overall happiness as men.
Why would anyone get married if they wanted to be a single parent? A man certainly does not. If he gets divorced with kids, his life is going to be full of added grief and frustration. Unlike women, men typically don't have awareness of the ramifications of being a single parent until it is too late. By the time the marriage is over and the man learns what he is facing, there is nothing he can do. Women on the other hand, likely married the man she did because she knew she wanted to be a single mom at some point when it would best benefit her. Women don't really want to be married, but for most women they simply cant or wont just get a man to donate some sperm without the marriage because of how it appears. They need to be able to present as a victim with proper values and morals when needed so they get married and when it ends on their terms, they now have someone to blame for their failures while gaining the control over the children and a mans finances while also receiving adulation from an ever accepting society that praises single moms for being survivors and heroes. This image isn't so easy if they just start having kids with the type of men who like sex but don't want to have a family. Even most whorish women don't want to appear as such and having multiple kids without a marriage tied to it, even if they later divorce, really makes them look bad.
If women don't want to be married and will not carry their weight in a marriage once it takes place, what is a man to do? There is nothing the man can do other than understand what he is signing up for and whether the desire for a family outweighs how the mother of his kids will behave when she is ready. Thinking a woman is going to behave honorably just because she chooses to marry you is a mindset men must eliminate from their thoughts. Ask a married woman why she married the man she is with and the top answer will likely be "he is a good provider". That is basically the equivalent of a man saying he married a woman because she has giant boobs or the perfect ass. While the female response generates positive acceptance from society, a man who says why he married the woman, while likely true, makes him look like a pig. These opposite mindsets and how they are perceived by society is a big reason why the court system favors women. Women know that even if they dont get one of those "good providers. they have the State to take the kids from the man and to become her provider by controlling the man. Once you understand the female mindset you can make decisions that best work for your desire for children or even a period of time to play family. When it ends, and it likely will, you are in the best position to handle what will be a traumatic experience no matter how well you prepare your future.
If you do not want children, do not ever get married. Sadly most men do want kids however no matter who aware they are of female behavior. Knowing that a man likely needs a woman to help him get kids, how he navigates this process will determine his future mental and financial health. While younger women love the idea of marriage and want to get engaged before all their friends so they can show off, they don't really want to be married or be a contributor to a marriage. Women who marry young are very likely to want out at some point whether it be 5 years or 10 years down the road. The reasons vary but it is still likely to happen even if you may get some genuine love and affection for awhile that rarely comes from women over 30.They go from loving the story of being married they can present to their friends to waking up one day and realizing they gave up their prime years and now want to play with some new friends they met at the gym while you are out being a "good provider" . Women who wait to get married until they are after 30 not only are unlikely to be able to bond with a man because they have had so much sex with so many men, their window for children is getting smaller by the day which puts your decision to marry is an even riskier proposition. They would like nothing better than to find a successful man to give her a baby so she can divorce him on demand and take all his prime earning years of his mid to late 30s all the way to 50 and beyond. When the divorce happens, they move on so quick yet the alimony and child support checks are coming in at peek value because you stupidly waited to get married until you were established in what you think is a career. A woman who marries younger may divorce you but you may be that one special guy in her life for various reasons. This often makes divorce and co parenting a little easier. Women who are over 30 getting married who later divorce would just as soon she you living in the streets even if you are the father of her kids because she is incapable of bonding and you are just another man who disappointed her while reminding her or her mistake she didn't marry young or heaven forbid you arent her first marriage and she needs to punish you because the first one, who she might have loved briefly, got away.
If women want to be single moms, and they do, if you want kids what do you do? If you understand what she is, what her desires are, and that who you are plays no factor in her behavior, you are halfway there. You need to get married young and start having your kids before you make money. There is a small chance you might get lucky and meet that sweet rare woman who values family and what a husband means allowing for a long term or even life time marriage. You might have a real chance to build what families should be in our country if it is going to survive. While most relationships are nothing but lies, there is nothing better than one built on respect and teamwork and maybe even some long lasting love. It can happen but only when you are young. If you wait until you or a woman is after 30, forget it. The agenda she carries will cause the marriage to be destroyed and the financial payoff to be at its max for the woman. If a woman who marries in her twenties may take a few years to realize she wants to be a single mom, a woman who marries in her thirties is planning to be a single mom when she meets you. You are just the guy who is around at the time she needs to have her babies or plot the biggest financial payoff. Men dont think like this at all.
Getting married young will allow you to be in a position where even if the marriage goes bad and you are going to get divorce raped, your kids are older and your financial responsibility less because you are not likely at your maximum earning age or time. What is most important is if you divorce after marrying young, you can be done with all the child support and alimony payments and maybe still be in your early 40s where you are really starting to earn. You also are not so old that you cannot do well with ladies who appreciate your success and stability. This does not mean remarry. If you have had your kids and don't see a new woman as the mother of more of your kids, you can enjoy her on your terms. You will control the narrative when it comes to dating while also holding on to your money. Delaying marriage until you are in your thirties for whatever reason is going to cause you to make some big mistakes that will cost you more later in life. When you are thirty plus and still want kids, its not going to be as easy to meet a woman in her early to mid twenties to have a family. Women who want kids young and are willing to marry rarely marry a guy who is much older than they are. Your fantasy of building your career and appearing rich in your thirties while you date young women in their twenties is not the recipe for even a temporary marriage that could possibly last. A woman who is that young who marries up is very aware and wont even hide that she wants your money. Any woman you choose after 30 is going to get your prime earning years and if you are at or near the same age, while it might look good on the surface, these women are even more experienced and will be more stealth in their desire to be a single mom. A woman who waits until shes over 30 to get married and have kids either never wanted to be married or is settling for you because you just happen to be that guy who is around at the time she needs to have her kids before it is too late. There is nothing that is a bigger kick in the teeth for a guy pushing 50 as when this suddenly becomes reality and you are left paying out max money to a woman approaching the wall but still has no problem getting men to pay attention to her because she was and still may be attractive. No matter how rich you are, you don't want to be in your fifties trying to date. You might as well skip it and just pay hookers. While it may not be much easier for women at the same age, they don't care as they still don't have to put out any effort. The men older women attract may be less quality, it is on their terms which allows for attention and control which is fuel for these needs that last until they die. They have your money and their kids and can put on an act of happiness that no man can match because they are single, can play victim as needed, and have you as as an extra source of income. This was their goal either from the minute they married you or realized that no matter who or what you are, you cannot meet their demand for attention which causes them to want to be the single mom.
There are always going to be exceptions to every rule. You might be the lucky guy who meets a nice girl at a young age and you build a life with a great family. That is reality for very few men however in today's throw away and Instagram look at me society. You still want kids though. As a man who married a horrible woman who used a court system to take my wealth while trying to alienate me from my kids with no ramifications, I am blessed beyond belief with two daughters who I am to this day close with and who see what kind of man I am every day. These relationships are priceless and seeing how naive I was for so long, I was genuinely lucky to be in the wrong place at the wrong time when the mother of my kids did what she needed to do to get her kids and her money so she could be a single mom enjoying the freedoms that come with it because of how she timed her marriage and has the State to enforce her demand money she does not need because I am considered a "good provider". No matter the negativity that happened to me, I am very much to blame for it because I allowed it to happen due to delaying marriage and not being educated on the nature of women. You do not want to be a 35 year old man, no matter how successful, trying to find a wife of quality. Getting married is easy and impregnating a woman is easy, but if you pick a bad one because your time is running out to have kids, she will punish you. Her agenda makes a mid thirties man an easy mark and you let a lot of the obvious be ignored because of how she looks or that you have put your need for kids first over any qualities you might hope for in a wife. My lack of awareness is very much my fault and it is all I can do now to keep young men from being in my position when there are better ways to live life.
What you men need to understand is the female mindset and how to combat it while also allowing yourself to have kids. If you want kids do not just stick your head in the sand and not play the game. You will be 35-40 with no kids and lots of regret no matter how much money you have or how many gold diggers you sleep with thinking they liked you and not what you bought them. Regret is not something you want on your deathbed. You have to interact with women with the right mindset and the only way to combat these women are for older men to educate younger men on why it may make sense to give up the freedom of your twenties to save heartache in your forties and fifties that drive many men to drinking, drug use, video game or porn addiction, or too often suicide. Many young men don't have a father who can or will do it for a variety of reasons. My father was the last of a generation where most couples stayed married for life and had no clue about female behavior because like many men, they married women of quality who valued family. The world is no longer like that sadly but the information is out there so men don't have any excuses and need to be prepared
Once a man learns that Family Court is not his friend, the sooner he will learn to prepare for his Divorce. Most men heading into the Divorce environment have no clue about what is coming or what the rules are. I can say that and I have a damn law license. Most men do not go into marriage even thinking about divorce. Women are the opposite. Whether it be on their own or through the help of other women, women know the important divorce laws inside and out. They want to marry successful men for a reason. If they don't get their way during the marriage and it ends, they get paid. Men learn this too late but men who have been through it need to start teaching other men how all of this works.
One common issue I see is the vindictiveness of women even if the divorce is on their terms. They want you punished in every way possible and it goes beyond getting more than her share of the financial resources. One thing most of them do is once the divorce becomes inevitable is they start to remove your personal items from your home. Stuff that matter to you most, which has no value, starts to disappear. While you as a man are aware of your stuff and what matters, you don't do a daily check in to make sure it is where you keep it. Whether you have it on display or in a drawer, your not thinking about it every day. Your wife is. She knows exactly what matters to you most personally and even if it has no monetary value, it has value to you and she is going to steal it. The things my wife made disappear were some of the most important things that mattered to me. You might ask why I didn't notice? When you are under the stress of a divorce and likely having to leave your marital home, you want to get your stuff packed up and out of there as quickly as possible. If you have lots of stuff, you are not going to miss things immediately but once you are out of the house and you can do inventory, you suddenly realize what was taken. You cant get back into the house you left and your wife is going to deny all accusations you make about what she took. The items that she stole that had value that you can replace you forget those and just rebuy them but the personal stuff you owned cannot be replaced. Once I saw the things that were taken from me, I felt rage and heartbreak all at the same time. The denials made it even worse. The positive I took out of all of it was that in my quest for trying to find a reason for why I might have doubted leaving my wife was the right decision, the only thing I could find were more and more reasons it was the smart decision. As a married man I was pretty blue pilled. I did all that I was supposed to do and what I thought men were supposed to do. Once I took the red pill and started asking questions, the divorce came because she now knew you were on to her and her bad character that she was hiding didn't have to be hidden any more. Its a real awakening and while it seems to be more and more popular to discuss this from a mans point of view and give advice, it was so obvious what was going on that even a simp like me many years ago could spot it. Despite what I was seeing I never thought someone who I provided a great life for and allowed to be a stay at home mom would steal my personal things because we were getting divorced.
Family courts will not help you guys. If you go in there saying she stole x y and z, she will deny it and the Judge will dismiss you. They simply don't have time to fight over little things that may not have much value but have personal value. Your soon to be ex wife has that list so the best thing to do is get your mindset straight before you divorce. Men need to know where there stuff is and take anything personal out of the house the minute the divorce becomes an option. It will save a lot of heartache. Men dont steal like this from women as even the worst man is rarely going to take personal things from an ex unless the plan is to convert it to money. Men and women both steal for a variety of reasons but only women make it personal no matter how good you were to them in marriage and no matter how much money they get in the divorce despite contributing nothing.
In todays world men must be prepared for the divorce battle long before it gets to that point. It is a sad world we live in where women now more than ever control the relationship narrative. If you are an alpha successful man you might get lots of women, but while you are walking around proud of your beautiful giant breasted wife and all your achievements, she is likely planning how to maximize her recovery should you want a divorce or she simply decides she wants to be a single mom because she wants to date new men or simply get away from you while she lives the single life you are paying for. No man is immune to the behavior of these women who get away with it because looks are the prize for men when it comes to women. If you are the average guy with an average job who just wants to have a family and live like your parents did with a couple of kids, you are facing a battle today to where even getting your average woman to be your wife and have kids with you is near impossible. Without the right attitude and support, while you may not get divorced raped like the typical alpha guy does, you end up alone playing video games and drinking real quick.
Stealing is just an example of why men need to get their mindset about women and marriage straight long before they deal with it. We all hope to be married for life, but odds are we wont even if we do get married and are lucky enough to have a family. Therefore men must continue to educate themselves on the ways of women and the court system so they can control the narrative a bit better when the divorce hits. It is never good advice to avoid the marriage game if you want kids, but if you are going to play know what you are going up against so you don't lose your personal items from someone who is simply going to hurt you out of spite like mine did by amongst other things, taking what was the most valuable to me and making it disappear. It has happened to many others and will to you as well if you don't prepare. If you don't think it matters, take something small like a watch or other momento that your father gave you and just throw it in the trash and then you will understand that this is just another issue men deal with in silence because no one really cares, especially the person you married who stole it from you.
In order to be the best man you can you need to understand when to get married and why you are doing it. If you are a man that does not want children, under no circumstances should you get married. Repeat this to yourself 100 times and tattoo it on your chest if necessary.
If you are like most men who want a family and children, in today's world more than ever you have to understand when and how to get married because you are likely to get divorced and the only person that benefits from the divorce is the woman. There is no way around it and women show their understanding of divorce law by their behavior toward you once married. They likely have the divorce planned before they marry you and build their case from the day you get married to make leaving easier and more profitable or to damage you should you one day get some balls and walk out on her as I did my wife. As long as you do what she says while married, you may never see the case she is building for the lawyer she has not yet hired. Unless you were lucky and got the rare sensational, family oriented, loyal woman who knows what it means to be a wife and partner, the older you are when you marry, the more likely it is the woman married you because she wants your sperm so she can get the kids that will get her more money when you divorce or she knows she will never be able to earn enough with her own talent to live the lifestyle she wants. She is going to hitch herself onto your success so she can live well while married and live even better once you divorce. This is what happened to me as I was simply a sperm donor and a retirement plan for a woman who faked what she needed to get her financial goals met because she knew she would live a low end financial life without the right man. Looking back all I can do is kick myself for allowing it to happen but delaying marriage until later in life combined with being blind to the nature of a beautiful woman only made me the ultimate mark and she played it well to get what she wanted. I don't want that to happen to any man.
I am ultimately at fault for the financial raping and parental alienation I had to deal with once I decided to end my marriage because I failed to make the right decisions at the right time earlier in life. My goal now is to teach as many men how to spot these women, avoid getting hitched to them at the wrong time no matter how pretty they are, and still build a life that involves marriage and a family with minimal loss when you likely end up divorced or are forced to make a decision to stay in a bad marriage or leave. If you are a man facing divorce and the potential problems that come with it, this post is not really for you. The issues that you are going to face are long and difficult to fix or minimize the damage. This is discussed elsewhere. If you are a younger man who saw his parents have a marriage that made you want to marry and have kids as they did, then you need to start planning early and make it happen even if means giving up sleeping with a bunch of young women when they are the easiest to bed.
There is not a better time in life than college years for most men. You are young and likely in the best shape of your life. Beautiful girls are everywhere and have still not fully developed or been exposed to the mindset of using a man for sperm or money or both. They love like they never will in their life again. The games they play with your heart and mind still exist but its no different than games the women in their 30s play other than if you are still single at that age, experience makes it a little less emotional for you. If your goal is to get married and have kids, you need to be trained to look for a quality woman who is marriage and family minded so you can get married young. If a woman is going to be like this in a sincere way, it is when she is young. If you are trying to do this after college age it gets harder to find. Once a woman gets out of college, if she is not in a serious soon to be married relationship she is more likely lose her ability to love, cheat on the man she is with, and her hypergamous nature begins to show itself. If she is pretty everything is amplified. As you get older and you see more divorced women, you wil learn that these women simply have no ability to feel like they did when younger. Men are simply a need to and end.
I know what you are thinking. Why would a man in his prime youth with more females available than any time in his life make a commitment to one woman and get married. You give up all the women, you likely are not established financially, and kids are only going to make day to day life tougher and more stressful. All that is true but life is about choices. Its the rare person who can get what he wants without having to give something up. The richer your family is or the more exposure you have socially to women after you leave school the better your odds are at meeting a certain type of top notch woman. For the average guy who might even be hard working and social, as you age your exposure to available quality women decreases. Who wants their first marriage to be to a divorcee or a single mom? When you are in your 30s and trying to get a wife and kids, you will be glad if the woman you meet does not have a kid by another man. Shes likely divorced and that makes her even more likely to see you and your Im going to wait until I have a career and some money before i marry mindset as the perfect victim to get what she wants. Her giant breasts and your receding hairline only make you more susceptible to these type of women. It is what is out there guys and delaying something like a wife and family is only going to cause you more heartache and financial destruction.
Once you have the mindset to marry young and not just have sex with every young lady you meet, you have the best chance to find a nice girl who wants kids and family. She will be immature but you will know if she cares for you. You will be broke and worried about how to pay for things but dont let others tell you to wait. If you are going to a professional school or still unsure about anything in terms of career do not let that stop you from getting this part of your life going. If you have your kids young you arent as likely to be able to provide for them or give them as many things, but your family is likely to be a happier environment and the kids have better odds at mom and dad being together when they are finishing high school. Even if you divorce and it goes wrong, you have your kids and the money you pay out for child support will likely be less than a man who waited to marry when he had the nice income. You will also be old enough to rebuild and enjoy the company of many new women while you are a still young. While divorce sucks, it is easier to handle the younger you are because the loss is less and the opportunity to date and enjoy new women is higher. Getting divorced in your 40s with young kids after you built a career with no help from a woman you married late because she spent her 20s riding the cock carousel is the worst outcome. Delaying marriage and family means you are less likely to get a quality woman who has the ability to actually care about you versus what you can provide for her because she could not find a man while young or she got divorced from her college sweetheart.
There is nothing worse than being used by a woman who takes a marriage vow and chooses to have kids with you for money. Its a reflection on her character but also your own lack of knowledge for allowing it to happen. Younger women will certainly change as they age and there is still atleast a 50% chance you will divorce, but if you are aware of how great a family unit can be, these negative statistics should not keep you from getting married.
I know many men who think getting married young is foolish yet they all want kids. When our college girlfriends left or cheated on us because we wouldn't push for marriage or we allowed ourselves to pick one who had no value beyond their looks, we left school with an uncertain or delayed career path and less women around that might allow us to meet a wife. You hit 30 real quick and you are still looking for a wife. You hear about the woman who you thought was awesome marry young and she now has kids and what seems like a good relationship. If she breaks up with her husband he has his kids, a fresh start, and got the best years of his wife. If they stay together, they are likely bonded in a way that only marrying young allows. You still have nothing and your looks are going down no matter how much you try to stay in shape. If you turn into a sloth youre chances at a decent woman is pretty much zero. On the other side of 30 your options are more and more single moms and divorces with the occasional unmarried unattractive woman crossing your path. There is nothing positive here at all and with rare exception does a man who does not run in significant social circles find a decent woman to marry after age 30 who has no baggage and the ability to feel.
If you are that guy like I was who was not married in his early to mid 30s after building your career and getting a real financial foothold in life, you are now a sperm donor or retirement plan to most women. You may get lots of sex and women who see you as a catch. However, they have no interest in you as a person. If you think you can marry a woman 10 years younger while it might be good on paper, if she is picking you it is simply for money because she does not want to build it with a guy her age. If you marry a woman who is near your age then she is likely divorced or not attractive. She sees you as a sperm donor because her biological clock is ticking and you were Mr Right Now who just happened to be the guy she was dating at the time she realized she better have her kids. If she isnt emotionally dead because her first marriage didnt work, then she spent her 20s having more sex than you will ever know and she is marrying you for your ability to provide. She cant pair bond with you either way. Like most men, when you are 35 and frustrated you couldnt find a wife and you want kids, your standards go down and your character radar are shut off. This leads to bad decisions, a loveless marriage, and divorce rape. If you have the ability to see this and can walk away from a bad woman in your mid 30s, you are likely able to accept that you are not going to have kids. I know many men who are now well into their 40s who never got married and never had kids because they think they are going to meet this perfect woman that will love him and pay attention to him like that college girl did back when women were at an age when they could feel something for a man. These women arent showing up guys and unless you want to marry a younger woman who wants your money in exchange for kids knowing she isnt with you for you, then keep doing what you are doing while you read about all the guys you knew when you were younger posting things on Facebook about their kids getting married etc.
Life is about choices. If you were raised in a good family environment and value a life with a good woman and kids then you need to get a mindset as a young man and work toward finding a way. This may require some monogamy and you are likely to have sex with fewer beautiful girls while you are in the physical prime of your life, but the reward is so much more and if and when your marriage goes bad, the financial and child custody issues, while still stressful, are less of a destruction to you than if you wait until your 30s or later to marry.
Dont make the mistake I made guys which was not getting married until my mid 30s. Delaying marriage only increases the likelihood you will end up with a woman who simply has no ability or desire to enuinley love or bond with you but who knows all the tricks to get you locked in to a marriage contract to get her financial or biological needs met. There is not a worse feeling in the world than either continuing to increase the odds you don't get married and have no kids because you are still waiting for this perfect match to show up, or that you end up a Sperm Donor and a Retirement Plan for a woman because you wanted kids and didnt make it happen for yourself as a younger man and are now choosing poorly to get things that you should have tried to make happen as a younger man.
When a man hits 40-45, that is the age a divorce is most likely to happen. The reasons are endless, but this is also the age where a man can go downhill fast physically, mentally, or economically divorce or not. A divorce only speeds up these changes that are basically his mid life crisis. Ultimately its his mindset and response to what has happened that will determine how he enjoys the rest of his life. Life should get better as we age, but if the hurdle of divorce faces you, the after effects need to be managed and handled or you will die slowly and younger than you should.
When I advise other men, I try to look at myself as the benchmark so this helps me give real advice and not just a list of cookie cutter dos or don'ts to help move forward with life. I was always in decent shape and athletic since I was a young boy. I was good at sports and played on teams all the way through college. I wasn't super in shape but I wasn't the guy sitting on my couch playing video games and eating cheetos well into my 30s. Could I have exercised more? Yes. Did I continue to be active up until I got divorced? Yes. Was I that guy who worked out 3-5 times a week who lived at the gym and went running all the time? No. I was the guy who was barely hanging on to my athleticism and doing everything I could to keep from getting noticeably fat or lethargic. At age 40, unless you are making it a priority to stay in super shape, your body is going to show real signs of age and it gets harder to fend it off. I never saw myself as depressed and certainly didn't sit at home on the couch in order to advance my age faster, but I was more aware of my age than at any other time in life. Sadly many men let things go often enabled by bad habits to numb themselves from the hurdles of life they could not climb. Add a failed marriage or no ability to get women and too many men realize their best years are behind them. Fighting off age is a battle we all face, but we want to do it on our terms. Adding negativity can push a man the wrong way to utter destruction and at this time in life, self awareness and discipline are the two most important traits a man must have to fight the battles you did not plan to face alone.
I was 40 when my marriage was noticeably an issue for me and by 44 I was divorced. At that time in life, I was not the runner constant exercise guy nor was I the guy who lived on the couch drinking myself into depression and a sloth appearance. My wife didn't physically or emotionally abandon me because of who I was or how I appeared physically. I was still a strong, athletic, high libido man who needed to exercise a bit more but I was not 25 or even 30. Even though I was the one who left my wife and filed for divorce, it was still a traumatic experience. I walked out on someone I loved and as a pro marriage and family guy, it was heartbreaking to know that no matter what I did, how much I earned, or how quality of a man I was, there was nothing I could do to make my wife treat me like I thought a wife should or to keep her from zeroing me out. I meant nothing to her other than the financial protection I provided. For as bad as that was, many women are much more open in their deception. They will flat out leave you, empty the house of all the stuff, keep your kids from you, and flash a new boyfriend within minutes of leaving you. All of your worst fears are right in your face. If you are a normal man, this destroys you emotionally and can cause you to make decisions that will harm you way more than getting a way from a horrible woman who you thought was your world.
If you are sitting in this position as a man who was just left or is thinking of leaving his wife because of what you see, but maybe wont admit, as a complete lack of a marriage, you need to have significant discipline and self awareness moving forward. Even if you can save your financial resources and can get a custody order in place with 50/50 custody of your kids, you are still losing a big part of your life. While you may not realize it at the moment you are likely better off and have an opportunity to live a life for you around new women who value you, you are still going through a change in life that can and has destroyed many men even to the point of suicide. Even if you save your money and get to see your kids, it does not matter if you begin to destroy yourself post divorce with bad decisions.
As a 40-45 year old man, divorce or not, you need to do things to allow you to enjoy the last part of your life on your terms. You cant stop age, but you can still have fun. It is important you do things gradually and slowly to give yourself the best chance at a positive life. Here are 5 things to consider which I discuss with all my clients and give real advice about with pretty much everyone in depth and an in detail so they can move forward with life and get away from what is likely a nasty or manipulative woman:
1. Understand the concept of no contact and live by it. Do not contact your ex ever kids or not unless it involves kids health or education. If this becomes necessary do it only by email. Never talk to your ex again. This is not easy and will likely require some nasty emails or even phone conversations post split if she refuses to cooperate over custody. Once things are in place, be the best dad you can and eliminate her from your life. She has eliminated you but will be glad to talk to you if she is getting things. Once she realizes she cant manipulate you any longer, she wont speak to you again. You now know that she never loved you and you were only relevant to what you could do for her.
2. Eliminate all the bad habits you can. I have never smoked and don't drink. I am not anti alcohol but it is very destructive. If you smoke do all you can to quit. If you do any type of drug stop and go to rehab if you cant. Marijuana is terrible and should never be a part of your life. I don't care if you are thin and exercise like a fiend. Eliminate it from your life. Stop drinking all alcohol. Stop drinking all soda. Reduce Sugar intake. As someone who was fatter than I wanted as I hit 40 because I like cheeseburgers and pizza, I would just say still enjoy the foods you like but cut back on the portions. This can be tough but start gradually eliminate what you can. While loved ice cream, I could give that up. What you put in your body after age 40 will have dramatic affects on you way more than it did when you were young. If you use drugs or alcohol or over eat to ease the pain of divorce, you are hurting yourself and setting a bad example for your kids. You are also letting your ex know that she may have been right in forcing a divorce. You cant beat middle age, but you can still look good and be attractive to women.
3. Exercise rationally. If you are the guy that has stayed fit and exercises all the time well into your 40s and beyond, good for you. It may make things easier for you post divorce. For the other 95% of you who are either fat slobs and have no interest in exercising or those who move a bit but aren't big exercisers, take baby steps. Get a gym membership and pay for one that has a pool and a sauna. Walking in a pool or sitting in a steam room will make you feel good which helps when you aren't to the point of throwing around weights. Its a start. It may also get you motivated to lift weights. It is easy to say hit the gym and start lifting but the key is change your life in a way that gradually leads to real improvement and not massive changes that aren't as likely to last. Get in the habit of doing things. Be outside more. Join a bowling or tennis group. Walking and bike riding are great. Start slow and build up as your mental strength improves.
4. Minimize porn. While I am pretty conservative, porn has its place especially in today's dating world. If you watch porn or like many women write porn fiction every day, especially for hours, it is destructive. Go to rehab and get help. It is a hard habit to break for many men who lived in sexless marriages who later got divorced and don't want or don't have the ability to date women. When you would rather watch porn and touch yourself than try to figure out how to have a good sex life with your spouse, it is time to divorce or for you to check yourself. I was married to someone who spent hours on the computer writing stories about Harry Potter characters having sex with each other and hogwarts etc. When I found out I was shocked but it was clearly an addiction. I couldnt get her to be interested in me and I was not going to cheat. It was divorce time. While knowing the mother of your kids wasn't what I thought she was, it made me feel that it wasn't my physical appearance or me that was the total cause for being in a sexless marriage. Either way being addicted to porn and choosing it over your spouse is pretty hurtful so dont do that to your spouse. That being said, sexual release is vital and healthy. Once you are divorced, porn can keep you from doing things in real life you might regret. Unwanted pregnancies, STDs, and the shame you feel after being with the wrong person physically are worse than the occasional porn date with just yourself. There is nothing worse than dating a woman you wouldn't talk to otherwise just because you haven't had sex in awhile. Women hate desperate men and having this option versus never watching or not touching yourself will allow you to make smart decisions with your dating life going on.
5. Intermittent fasting. This is probably the best thing any man can do post divorce to increase his overall health. In addition to giving up things like sugar and alcohol, one thing that should be mandatory is intermittent fasting. Going 20-24 hours between meals with one day for eating how you want will cause weight loss and overall better feeling. Your body will adjust pretty quick, you wont be hungry, and you will find eliminating things like candy and chocolate etc will be easier if you do it with an intermittent fasting lifestyle. Try taking 3-4 weeks and eat one meal a day between 4-6 pm. You can eat almost anything you want. Do not eat again for another 20-24 hours. Drink unsweet tea or water all you want and if you get hungry at night, have a cup of hot chocolate made with water. The weight will come off fast and you can still enjoy foods you like. This is easier than going on a diet of regular eating giving up things you still want. I can go 20-24 hours without eating if know I am going to have some nachos on occasion. I encourage every man to do this. Your energy, sleep habits, and overall mindset will improve. The discipline you show will improve in other areas of your life as well.
5. Depression medication is a no no in almost all circumstances. Women love medication. More than you think are on some form of it. Following a marriage split, they will get medicated or medicate themselves even more. The worst women want their kids to suffer along with them and will take their kids for counseling and to a doctor who will prescribe any kid medication because mom asked using her trauma of divorce as a reason the kids need help when they dont. These medications can have long lasting effects and are often the cause of destruction of a marriage. If your married someone without asking her if she is or was on some form of mind altering drug for depression or anxiety before marrying her, then you made a mistake. I did that and post divorce had to watch my normal children be carried from counselor to counselor and ultimately prescribed medication when there was nothing wrong with them. Courts will support this behavior and will also do anything to support a woman's attempt to sabatoge their own kids education. When I tell people my ex got a court order to keep our kids in a low level public school despite the chance to go to a top notch local charter school they think I made it up. The Judge supports these women. While there are cases where medication is necessary, it is rare and its over use and easily obtained prescriptions are a big reason for the issues between men and women and the suffering of their kids.
Do not get on that train. Men who are able to get real advice from other men do not need medication to deal with divorce. Men who don't have real friends who have been through similar experiences or who are counseled about things like marriage by a catholic priest instead of a man who has been through the battles are not getting help but medication is not the answer. Men are stronger than women when it comes to the battles of life because we have to be but do not ever allow yourself to get on medication for emotional issues. The side affects can involve weight can or even impotence. Its hard enough to be a man but these drugs do not help you. Find a man who can talk to you based on life experience, not some theory from a book he got with his fancy degree.
As men we need be aware of how we evolve as we age. We need to understand the nature of women so we can enjoy them on our terms and navigate marriage if we decide we want kids. When things go wrong, and there is an 80% chance your marriage will fail even if you don't get divorced, if you cannot rebuild and adapt, you will end up a big fat slob with lots of addictions. You know what these men look and act like and you do not want to be one of them. Think about your kids and think about the piece of garbage woman you are getting away from. The best revenge is a life well lived while being desirable to new women who you can walk away from the minute they start behaving badly.
One of the people i admired most in life was my father. He didn't have the best childhood and dealt with parents who were divorced. He didn't go to college. He survived a tour in Vietnam and managed to carve out a career working with the same company for 40 years. He was lucky to marry my mother who came from the same type of background. They stayed married for 40 years until his death at age 62 from a horrible cancer that resulted from years of hiding his life's pain and tragedy in food and a sedentary life. I never really knew about any of it because he and my mother made sure my sister and I had all the opportunities they could afford and then some. I had an ideal childhood with strict but fair parents and had no idea they were barely making ends meet.
Despite all the hardships of life my parents got married and stayed together. There was no social media or even an internet. They didn't tell total strangers every time they washed their car or went to a concert yet they socialized with people. They were in a bowling league and one of the highlights of my week would be able to go with them, see the other kids, and play pinball machines and video games from the late 70s and early 80s. The lived a normal life and the priority was family and helping others. We even went to church every Sunday and I watched my dad place an envelope in the plate not knowing he could have used that money to help pay a bill that was likely overdue. Was he happy? I think he was. Was my mother happy? I think she was also. Their lives were like most peoples of the time and probably similar to their parents but with cable TV and an extra car. The kids even talked to each other face to face and made dates and really got to know each other beyond how they looked. Today people don't meet, look at a picture, and don't really connect. Men are soon going to show women nothing but their bank accounts and property the way women post their boobs and ass. How can that possibly lead to anything meaningful and it is going to be up to men to change the way we date.
Relationships have always evolved throughout time. While it would be foolish to think people were not unfaithful and there was not physical or mental abuse in marriages, other peoples lives were rarely in your face. This would give most people the chance to create a family life with respectful children who hopefully longed for the same things when they became adults. You would learn how to treat people based on how you were raised and what you saw. Every new generation becomes exposed to more and we look at past generations for their good but also their boredom and simplicity. There is a reason people are always inventing things. We want more opportunities, exposure, and overall enjoyment of life. The technology that exists now is not based on how to get somewhere faster like a car, but to advertise ourselves as individuals as who and what we are. Our character seems to matter a lot less than it did and it shows in our leaders and mentors. It had also devalued the individual and greatly reduced women's ability to pair bond with another man.
At what point do we ask ourselves how the evolution of technology and human behavior causes problems that will take generations to fix? Most generations evolution is slower. Was there that much of a difference between a generation that grew up in say 1850 versus 1880. Most of the day to day values were the same and while there were inventions that made life easier, these changes were minimal compared to 20th century generations. If we fast forward and look at say kids from the 1920s versus the 1950s were there more differences? There definitely was but family values were still very similar in our country. At some point there are changes that effect human behavior. The telephone is one example. The internet is another. These major inventions were improved after they were created.
What is my point you ask? My point is that were are now in a time where major inventions have drastically changed how people meet and date and most men, while fully participating in it, still think they can meet a woman, date conventionally, and find a quality wife to have a family. It simply cannot be done but until men learn the new rules of dating and marriage, we will continue to run over by women both emotionally and financially. If men continue to believe they can create these perfect families with loyal women, they are going to end up alone and childless. Wanting a family and kids is not something that men are going to give up on, but they are unable to achieve it because they do not know how to manage women while also having the confidence to walk away from women who have become so addicted to attention and social media platforms such as Facebook and Instagram.
Generation Xers are probably the last generation to live in a world where they saw their parents live like the Cleavers and many of us had a Wally and Beaver or Fathers know best lifestyle. We were getting lessons to get a college degree and get educated before marriage. We found ourselves even if everything went right getting married and trying to build a family just as internet dating was coming out. Once we were married and more social media platforms arrived, we saw what our wives or girlfriends truly were as people. While alcoholism might have destroyed many marriages in years past, the new drug and alcohol was the internet and bored women not getting enough attention from their husbands. Matters were made worse by a complete and total unawareness of the family court system and the advantage women had over men who now more then ever were becoming successful. The epidemic of divorce rape and parental alienation by women is now common place to the point it has made men doubt who they are and in some cultures completely disappear from trying to date or have kids. This will be downfall of the western world unless we fix it and start holding women to better standards by displaying confidence that so many of us lacked because we were desperate to be married and have a family.
Instead of trying to be what our parents were, we need to educate ourselves and train our behavior as men so women will value us. Every young man should have a mentor, hopefully his father, who has been through a bad marriage and financial rape, to teach him how to handle women. My father was a great man but he had nothing to teach me about women as he got married young and had a good family. Women today are not like my mother yet we as men are still like our fathers. What caused women to be this way is for another discussion but they have used the internet and social media to teach each other how to use men for financial gain and attention. The State supports this behavior so it is up to men to correct our behavior so women either fall in line or end up alone or as single mothers. While being divorced is not a stain on a woman like it used to be 50 years ago, there is something wrong when beautiful women are walking around today having been married twice, have kids where the dad does not even speak to or wants no part of them, and are still posting stuff all over Facebook about their dating and parental lives like it is a success to be where they are in life. The men who were involved in them are filled with anger and sit in silence because they see being divorced and isolated from their kids while having their hard earned money taken from them by the State as an embarrassment even if they did nothing to cause the divorce.
I will never be an advocate of not dating or getting married because I am worried the women might be a horrible person. That is the easy way out. I know many MGTOW guys who while perfectly capable of meeting and dating women who simply avoid them at all costs. I understand. There are more men who simply do not know how to meet or date a woman because they have not learned on how to be with women on their terms. Women should be a compliment to a mans life not his priority. He needs to be able to take or leave any woman. If the woman treats you with respect and admiration then she deserves your attention. If she behaves like she only cares about what you can do for her financially, then you get away from her as fast as possible. That is what I did. I walked away from a beautiful woman who I had two young kids with because despite wanting to be like my father in terms of how I provided for my family, I was not going to be used by someone who clearly cared nothing for me and only saw me as a wallet and a sperm donor for her kids because I was the guy who was around when she was ready to do what she had to do to get her kids and secure her financial future through my hard work. I still thank God for giving me the courage to do this because this was before the information men are now teaching each other was available in the massive amounts it is today. Most men faced with the situation I was in stayed in their marriage and years later they are even more miserable or now that they are seeing the light, the wife has already or is in the process of raping them for even more money in divorce court.
If you are a father with a son and have been through the divorce and child custody wars it is your duty to teach your son how to manage women and still have kids and maybe even a family. This starts with modern day dating techniques that involve making your son be a better and more dominant man. If you are a man who does not have a mentor to teach you these things, find one. The money I save men and the lessons I teach are worth the time and investment. Having knowledge about your enemy is the biggest boost of confidence heading in to battle. Despite my experiences with women I still want to spend time with them. Had I known what I know now when I was 20, my dating and married life would have been totally different. The mistakes I made when dating as a young man make me cringe and these mistakes lead me to make bad decisions in later relationships that caused financial and mental hardship that no good man deserved. What I learned from these experiences need to be shared with other men as we are in the process or transitioning from a generation of men who see family like the Cleavers on one level to a new set of men who dont know how to manage dating and women and are going to get buried. The end result if we do not help each other with these changes is going to be a culture of Americans, and you know who I am talking about, who will shun family and shun kids for a life of porn and video games. We cant fix women as they are only destroying themselves with all this social media, but we can still manage them to our advantage. If we dont do it, the USA will die off more so than it already has because of how the modern day female. Without family, children raised in a two parent home, and church, the culture will die off.
Time to wake up men and start learning how to be men so the bad or damaged women can be avoided no matter how pretty they are. Once we get ourselves straight, the women who value what our parents did will fall in line and we can build families were women's hypergamy is kept in check.