In order to be the best man you can you need to understand when to get married and why you are doing it. If you are a man that does not want children, under no circumstances should you get married. Repeat this to yourself 100 times and tattoo it on your chest if necessary. If you are like most men who want a family and children, in today's world more than ever you have to understand when and how to get married because you are likely to get divorced and the only person that benefits from the divorce is the woman. There is no way around it and women show their understanding of divorce law by their behavior toward you once married. They likely have the divorce planned before they marry you and build their case from the day you get married to make leaving easier and more profitable or to damage you should you one day get some balls and walk out on her as I did my wife. As long as you do what she says while married, you may never see the case she is building for the lawyer she has not yet hired. Unless you were lucky and got the rare sensational, family oriented, loyal woman who knows what it means to be a wife and partner, the older you are when you marry, the more likely it is the woman married you because she wants your sperm so she can get the kids that will get her more money when you divorce or she knows she will never be able to earn enough with her own talent to live the lifestyle she wants. She is going to hitch herself onto your success so she can live well while married and live even better once you divorce. This is what happened to me as I was simply a sperm donor and a retirement plan for a woman who faked what she needed to get her financial goals met because she knew she would live a low end financial life without the right man. Looking back all I can do is kick myself for allowing it to happen but delaying marriage until later in life combined with being blind to the nature of a beautiful woman only made me the ultimate mark and she played it well to get what she wanted. I don't want that to happen to any man. I am ultimately at fault for the financial raping and parental alienation I had to deal with once I decided to end my marriage because I failed to make the right decisions at the right time earlier in life. My goal now is to teach as many men how to spot these women, avoid getting hitched to them at the wrong time no matter how pretty they are, and still build a life that involves marriage and a family with minimal loss when you likely end up divorced or are forced to make a decision to stay in a bad marriage or leave. If you are a man facing divorce and the potential problems that come with it, this post is not really for you. The issues that you are going to face are long and difficult to fix or minimize the damage. This is discussed elsewhere. If you are a younger man who saw his parents have a marriage that made you want to marry and have kids as they did, then you need to start planning early and make it happen even if means giving up sleeping with a bunch of young women when they are the easiest to bed. There is not a better time in life than college years for most men. You are young and likely in the best shape of your life. Beautiful girls are everywhere and have still not fully developed or been exposed to the mindset of using a man for sperm or money or both. They love like they never will in their life again. The games they play with your heart and mind still exist but its no different than games the women in their 30s play other than if you are still single at that age, experience makes it a little less emotional for you. If your goal is to get married and have kids, you need to be trained to look for a quality woman who is marriage and family minded so you can get married young. If a woman is going to be like this in a sincere way, it is when she is young. If you are trying to do this after college age it gets harder to find. Once a woman gets out of college, if she is not in a serious soon to be married relationship she is more likely lose her ability to love, cheat on the man she is with, and her hypergamous nature begins to show itself. If she is pretty everything is amplified. As you get older and you see more divorced women, you wil learn that these women simply have no ability to feel like they did when younger. Men are simply a need to and end. I know what you are thinking. Why would a man in his prime youth with more females available than any time in his life make a commitment to one woman and get married. You give up all the women, you likely are not established financially, and kids are only going to make day to day life tougher and more stressful. All that is true but life is about choices. Its the rare person who can get what he wants without having to give something up. The richer your family is or the more exposure you have socially to women after you leave school the better your odds are at meeting a certain type of top notch woman. For the average guy who might even be hard working and social, as you age your exposure to available quality women decreases. Who wants their first marriage to be to a divorcee or a single mom? When you are in your 30s and trying to get a wife and kids, you will be glad if the woman you meet does not have a kid by another man. Shes likely divorced and that makes her even more likely to see you and your Im going to wait until I have a career and some money before i marry mindset as the perfect victim to get what she wants. Her giant breasts and your receding hairline only make you more susceptible to these type of women. It is what is out there guys and delaying something like a wife and family is only going to cause you more heartache and financial destruction. Once you have the mindset to marry young and not just have sex with every young lady you meet, you have the best chance to find a nice girl who wants kids and family. She will be immature but you will know if she cares for you. You will be broke and worried about how to pay for things but dont let others tell you to wait. If you are going to a professional school or still unsure about anything in terms of career do not let that stop you from getting this part of your life going. If you have your kids young you arent as likely to be able to provide for them or give them as many things, but your family is likely to be a happier environment and the kids have better odds at mom and dad being together when they are finishing high school. Even if you divorce and it goes wrong, you have your kids and the money you pay out for child support will likely be less than a man who waited to marry when he had the nice income. You will also be old enough to rebuild and enjoy the company of many new women while you are a still young. While divorce sucks, it is easier to handle the younger you are because the loss is less and the opportunity to date and enjoy new women is higher. Getting divorced in your 40s with young kids after you built a career with no help from a woman you married late because she spent her 20s riding the cock carousel is the worst outcome. Delaying marriage and family means you are less likely to get a quality woman who has the ability to actually care about you versus what you can provide for her because she could not find a man while young or she got divorced from her college sweetheart. There is nothing worse than being used by a woman who takes a marriage vow and chooses to have kids with you for money. Its a reflection on her character but also your own lack of knowledge for allowing it to happen. Younger women will certainly change as they age and there is still atleast a 50% chance you will divorce, but if you are aware of how great a family unit can be, these negative statistics should not keep you from getting married. I know many men who think getting married young is foolish yet they all want kids. When our college girlfriends left or cheated on us because we wouldn't push for marriage or we allowed ourselves to pick one who had no value beyond their looks, we left school with an uncertain or delayed career path and less women around that might allow us to meet a wife. You hit 30 real quick and you are still looking for a wife. You hear about the woman who you thought was awesome marry young and she now has kids and what seems like a good relationship. If she breaks up with her husband he has his kids, a fresh start, and got the best years of his wife. If they stay together, they are likely bonded in a way that only marrying young allows. You still have nothing and your looks are going down no matter how much you try to stay in shape. If you turn into a sloth youre chances at a decent woman is pretty much zero. On the other side of 30 your options are more and more single moms and divorces with the occasional unmarried unattractive woman crossing your path. There is nothing positive here at all and with rare exception does a man who does not run in significant social circles find a decent woman to marry after age 30 who has no baggage and the ability to feel. If you are that guy like I was who was not married in his early to mid 30s after building your career and getting a real financial foothold in life, you are now a sperm donor or retirement plan to most women. You may get lots of sex and women who see you as a catch. However, they have no interest in you as a person. If you think you can marry a woman 10 years younger while it might be good on paper, if she is picking you it is simply for money because she does not want to build it with a guy her age. If you marry a woman who is near your age then she is likely divorced or not attractive. She sees you as a sperm donor because her biological clock is ticking and you were Mr Right Now who just happened to be the guy she was dating at the time she realized she better have her kids. If she isnt emotionally dead because her first marriage didnt work, then she spent her 20s having more sex than you will ever know and she is marrying you for your ability to provide. She cant pair bond with you either way. Like most men, when you are 35 and frustrated you couldnt find a wife and you want kids, your standards go down and your character radar are shut off. This leads to bad decisions, a loveless marriage, and divorce rape. If you have the ability to see this and can walk away from a bad woman in your mid 30s, you are likely able to accept that you are not going to have kids. I know many men who are now well into their 40s who never got married and never had kids because they think they are going to meet this perfect woman that will love him and pay attention to him like that college girl did back when women were at an age when they could feel something for a man. These women arent showing up guys and unless you want to marry a younger woman who wants your money in exchange for kids knowing she isnt with you for you, then keep doing what you are doing while you read about all the guys you knew when you were younger posting things on Facebook about their kids getting married etc. Life is about choices. If you were raised in a good family environment and value a life with a good woman and kids then you need to get a mindset as a young man and work toward finding a way. This may require some monogamy and you are likely to have sex with fewer beautiful girls while you are in the physical prime of your life, but the reward is so much more and if and when your marriage goes bad, the financial and child custody issues, while still stressful, are less of a destruction to you than if you wait until your 30s or later to marry. Dont make the mistake I made guys which was not getting married until my mid 30s. Delaying marriage only increases the likelihood you will end up with a woman who simply has no ability or desire to enuinley love or bond with you but who knows all the tricks to get you locked in to a marriage contract to get her financial or biological needs met. There is not a worse feeling in the world than either continuing to increase the odds you don't get married and have no kids because you are still waiting for this perfect match to show up, or that you end up a Sperm Donor and a Retirement Plan for a woman because you wanted kids and didnt make it happen for yourself as a younger man and are now choosing poorly to get things that you should have tried to make happen as a younger man. When a man hits 40-45, that is the age a divorce is most likely to happen. The reasons are endless, but this is also the age where a man can go downhill fast physically, mentally, or economically divorce or not. A divorce only speeds up these changes that are basically his mid life crisis. Ultimately its his mindset and response to what has happened that will determine how he enjoys the rest of his life. Life should get better as we age, but if the hurdle of divorce faces you, the after effects need to be managed and handled or you will die slowly and younger than you should.
When I advise other men, I try to look at myself as the benchmark so this helps me give real advice and not just a list of cookie cutter dos or don'ts to help move forward with life. I was always in decent shape and athletic since I was a young boy. I was good at sports and played on teams all the way through college. I wasn't super in shape but I wasn't the guy sitting on my couch playing video games and eating cheetos well into my 30s. Could I have exercised more? Yes. Did I continue to be active up until I got divorced? Yes. Was I that guy who worked out 3-5 times a week who lived at the gym and went running all the time? No. I was the guy who was barely hanging on to my athleticism and doing everything I could to keep from getting noticeably fat or lethargic. At age 40, unless you are making it a priority to stay in super shape, your body is going to show real signs of age and it gets harder to fend it off. I never saw myself as depressed and certainly didn't sit at home on the couch in order to advance my age faster, but I was more aware of my age than at any other time in life. Sadly many men let things go often enabled by bad habits to numb themselves from the hurdles of life they could not climb. Add a failed marriage or no ability to get women and too many men realize their best years are behind them. Fighting off age is a battle we all face, but we want to do it on our terms. Adding negativity can push a man the wrong way to utter destruction and at this time in life, self awareness and discipline are the two most important traits a man must have to fight the battles you did not plan to face alone. I was 40 when my marriage was noticeably an issue for me and by 44 I was divorced. At that time in life, I was not the runner constant exercise guy nor was I the guy who lived on the couch drinking myself into depression and a sloth appearance. My wife didn't physically or emotionally abandon me because of who I was or how I appeared physically. I was still a strong, athletic, high libido man who needed to exercise a bit more but I was not 25 or even 30. Even though I was the one who left my wife and filed for divorce, it was still a traumatic experience. I walked out on someone I loved and as a pro marriage and family guy, it was heartbreaking to know that no matter what I did, how much I earned, or how quality of a man I was, there was nothing I could do to make my wife treat me like I thought a wife should or to keep her from zeroing me out. I meant nothing to her other than the financial protection I provided. For as bad as that was, many women are much more open in their deception. They will flat out leave you, empty the house of all the stuff, keep your kids from you, and flash a new boyfriend within minutes of leaving you. All of your worst fears are right in your face. If you are a normal man, this destroys you emotionally and can cause you to make decisions that will harm you way more than getting a way from a horrible woman who you thought was your world. If you are sitting in this position as a man who was just left or is thinking of leaving his wife because of what you see, but maybe wont admit, as a complete lack of a marriage, you need to have significant discipline and self awareness moving forward. Even if you can save your financial resources and can get a custody order in place with 50/50 custody of your kids, you are still losing a big part of your life. While you may not realize it at the moment you are likely better off and have an opportunity to live a life for you around new women who value you, you are still going through a change in life that can and has destroyed many men even to the point of suicide. Even if you save your money and get to see your kids, it does not matter if you begin to destroy yourself post divorce with bad decisions. As a 40-45 year old man, divorce or not, you need to do things to allow you to enjoy the last part of your life on your terms. You cant stop age, but you can still have fun. It is important you do things gradually and slowly to give yourself the best chance at a positive life. Here are 5 things to consider which I discuss with all my clients and give real advice about with pretty much everyone in depth and an in detail so they can move forward with life and get away from what is likely a nasty or manipulative woman: 1. Understand the concept of no contact and live by it. Do not contact your ex ever kids or not unless it involves kids health or education. If this becomes necessary do it only by email. Never talk to your ex again. This is not easy and will likely require some nasty emails or even phone conversations post split if she refuses to cooperate over custody. Once things are in place, be the best dad you can and eliminate her from your life. She has eliminated you but will be glad to talk to you if she is getting things. Once she realizes she cant manipulate you any longer, she wont speak to you again. You now know that she never loved you and you were only relevant to what you could do for her. 2. Eliminate all the bad habits you can. I have never smoked and don't drink. I am not anti alcohol but it is very destructive. If you smoke do all you can to quit. If you do any type of drug stop and go to rehab if you cant. Marijuana is terrible and should never be a part of your life. I don't care if you are thin and exercise like a fiend. Eliminate it from your life. Stop drinking all alcohol. Stop drinking all soda. Reduce Sugar intake. As someone who was fatter than I wanted as I hit 40 because I like cheeseburgers and pizza, I would just say still enjoy the foods you like but cut back on the portions. This can be tough but start gradually eliminate what you can. While loved ice cream, I could give that up. What you put in your body after age 40 will have dramatic affects on you way more than it did when you were young. If you use drugs or alcohol or over eat to ease the pain of divorce, you are hurting yourself and setting a bad example for your kids. You are also letting your ex know that she may have been right in forcing a divorce. You cant beat middle age, but you can still look good and be attractive to women. 3. Exercise rationally. If you are the guy that has stayed fit and exercises all the time well into your 40s and beyond, good for you. It may make things easier for you post divorce. For the other 95% of you who are either fat slobs and have no interest in exercising or those who move a bit but aren't big exercisers, take baby steps. Get a gym membership and pay for one that has a pool and a sauna. Walking in a pool or sitting in a steam room will make you feel good which helps when you aren't to the point of throwing around weights. Its a start. It may also get you motivated to lift weights. It is easy to say hit the gym and start lifting but the key is change your life in a way that gradually leads to real improvement and not massive changes that aren't as likely to last. Get in the habit of doing things. Be outside more. Join a bowling or tennis group. Walking and bike riding are great. Start slow and build up as your mental strength improves. 4. Minimize porn. While I am pretty conservative, porn has its place especially in today's dating world. If you watch porn or like many women write porn fiction every day, especially for hours, it is destructive. Go to rehab and get help. It is a hard habit to break for many men who lived in sexless marriages who later got divorced and don't want or don't have the ability to date women. When you would rather watch porn and touch yourself than try to figure out how to have a good sex life with your spouse, it is time to divorce or for you to check yourself. I was married to someone who spent hours on the computer writing stories about Harry Potter characters having sex with each other and hogwarts etc. When I found out I was shocked but it was clearly an addiction. I couldnt get her to be interested in me and I was not going to cheat. It was divorce time. While knowing the mother of your kids wasn't what I thought she was, it made me feel that it wasn't my physical appearance or me that was the total cause for being in a sexless marriage. Either way being addicted to porn and choosing it over your spouse is pretty hurtful so dont do that to your spouse. That being said, sexual release is vital and healthy. Once you are divorced, porn can keep you from doing things in real life you might regret. Unwanted pregnancies, STDs, and the shame you feel after being with the wrong person physically are worse than the occasional porn date with just yourself. There is nothing worse than dating a woman you wouldn't talk to otherwise just because you haven't had sex in awhile. Women hate desperate men and having this option versus never watching or not touching yourself will allow you to make smart decisions with your dating life going on. 5. Intermittent fasting. This is probably the best thing any man can do post divorce to increase his overall health. In addition to giving up things like sugar and alcohol, one thing that should be mandatory is intermittent fasting. Going 20-24 hours between meals with one day for eating how you want will cause weight loss and overall better feeling. Your body will adjust pretty quick, you wont be hungry, and you will find eliminating things like candy and chocolate etc will be easier if you do it with an intermittent fasting lifestyle. Try taking 3-4 weeks and eat one meal a day between 4-6 pm. You can eat almost anything you want. Do not eat again for another 20-24 hours. Drink unsweet tea or water all you want and if you get hungry at night, have a cup of hot chocolate made with water. The weight will come off fast and you can still enjoy foods you like. This is easier than going on a diet of regular eating giving up things you still want. I can go 20-24 hours without eating if know I am going to have some nachos on occasion. I encourage every man to do this. Your energy, sleep habits, and overall mindset will improve. The discipline you show will improve in other areas of your life as well. 5. Depression medication is a no no in almost all circumstances. Women love medication. More than you think are on some form of it. Following a marriage split, they will get medicated or medicate themselves even more. The worst women want their kids to suffer along with them and will take their kids for counseling and to a doctor who will prescribe any kid medication because mom asked using her trauma of divorce as a reason the kids need help when they dont. These medications can have long lasting effects and are often the cause of destruction of a marriage. If your married someone without asking her if she is or was on some form of mind altering drug for depression or anxiety before marrying her, then you made a mistake. I did that and post divorce had to watch my normal children be carried from counselor to counselor and ultimately prescribed medication when there was nothing wrong with them. Courts will support this behavior and will also do anything to support a woman's attempt to sabatoge their own kids education. When I tell people my ex got a court order to keep our kids in a low level public school despite the chance to go to a top notch local charter school they think I made it up. The Judge supports these women. While there are cases where medication is necessary, it is rare and its over use and easily obtained prescriptions are a big reason for the issues between men and women and the suffering of their kids. Do not get on that train. Men who are able to get real advice from other men do not need medication to deal with divorce. Men who don't have real friends who have been through similar experiences or who are counseled about things like marriage by a catholic priest instead of a man who has been through the battles are not getting help but medication is not the answer. Men are stronger than women when it comes to the battles of life because we have to be but do not ever allow yourself to get on medication for emotional issues. The side affects can involve weight can or even impotence. Its hard enough to be a man but these drugs do not help you. Find a man who can talk to you based on life experience, not some theory from a book he got with his fancy degree. As men we need be aware of how we evolve as we age. We need to understand the nature of women so we can enjoy them on our terms and navigate marriage if we decide we want kids. When things go wrong, and there is an 80% chance your marriage will fail even if you don't get divorced, if you cannot rebuild and adapt, you will end up a big fat slob with lots of addictions. You know what these men look and act like and you do not want to be one of them. Think about your kids and think about the piece of garbage woman you are getting away from. The best revenge is a life well lived while being desirable to new women who you can walk away from the minute they start behaving badly. One of the people i admired most in life was my father. He didn't have the best childhood and dealt with parents who were divorced. He didn't go to college. He survived a tour in Vietnam and managed to carve out a career working with the same company for 40 years. He was lucky to marry my mother who came from the same type of background. They stayed married for 40 years until his death at age 62 from a horrible cancer that resulted from years of hiding his life's pain and tragedy in food and a sedentary life. I never really knew about any of it because he and my mother made sure my sister and I had all the opportunities they could afford and then some. I had an ideal childhood with strict but fair parents and had no idea they were barely making ends meet.
Despite all the hardships of life my parents got married and stayed together. There was no social media or even an internet. They didn't tell total strangers every time they washed their car or went to a concert yet they socialized with people. They were in a bowling league and one of the highlights of my week would be able to go with them, see the other kids, and play pinball machines and video games from the late 70s and early 80s. The lived a normal life and the priority was family and helping others. We even went to church every Sunday and I watched my dad place an envelope in the plate not knowing he could have used that money to help pay a bill that was likely overdue. Was he happy? I think he was. Was my mother happy? I think she was also. Their lives were like most peoples of the time and probably similar to their parents but with cable TV and an extra car. The kids even talked to each other face to face and made dates and really got to know each other beyond how they looked. Today people don't meet, look at a picture, and don't really connect. Men are soon going to show women nothing but their bank accounts and property the way women post their boobs and ass. How can that possibly lead to anything meaningful and it is going to be up to men to change the way we date. Relationships have always evolved throughout time. While it would be foolish to think people were not unfaithful and there was not physical or mental abuse in marriages, other peoples lives were rarely in your face. This would give most people the chance to create a family life with respectful children who hopefully longed for the same things when they became adults. You would learn how to treat people based on how you were raised and what you saw. Every new generation becomes exposed to more and we look at past generations for their good but also their boredom and simplicity. There is a reason people are always inventing things. We want more opportunities, exposure, and overall enjoyment of life. The technology that exists now is not based on how to get somewhere faster like a car, but to advertise ourselves as individuals as who and what we are. Our character seems to matter a lot less than it did and it shows in our leaders and mentors. It had also devalued the individual and greatly reduced women's ability to pair bond with another man. At what point do we ask ourselves how the evolution of technology and human behavior causes problems that will take generations to fix? Most generations evolution is slower. Was there that much of a difference between a generation that grew up in say 1850 versus 1880. Most of the day to day values were the same and while there were inventions that made life easier, these changes were minimal compared to 20th century generations. If we fast forward and look at say kids from the 1920s versus the 1950s were there more differences? There definitely was but family values were still very similar in our country. At some point there are changes that effect human behavior. The telephone is one example. The internet is another. These major inventions were improved after they were created. What is my point you ask? My point is that were are now in a time where major inventions have drastically changed how people meet and date and most men, while fully participating in it, still think they can meet a woman, date conventionally, and find a quality wife to have a family. It simply cannot be done but until men learn the new rules of dating and marriage, we will continue to run over by women both emotionally and financially. If men continue to believe they can create these perfect families with loyal women, they are going to end up alone and childless. Wanting a family and kids is not something that men are going to give up on, but they are unable to achieve it because they do not know how to manage women while also having the confidence to walk away from women who have become so addicted to attention and social media platforms such as Facebook and Instagram. Generation Xers are probably the last generation to live in a world where they saw their parents live like the Cleavers and many of us had a Wally and Beaver or Fathers know best lifestyle. We were getting lessons to get a college degree and get educated before marriage. We found ourselves even if everything went right getting married and trying to build a family just as internet dating was coming out. Once we were married and more social media platforms arrived, we saw what our wives or girlfriends truly were as people. While alcoholism might have destroyed many marriages in years past, the new drug and alcohol was the internet and bored women not getting enough attention from their husbands. Matters were made worse by a complete and total unawareness of the family court system and the advantage women had over men who now more then ever were becoming successful. The epidemic of divorce rape and parental alienation by women is now common place to the point it has made men doubt who they are and in some cultures completely disappear from trying to date or have kids. This will be downfall of the western world unless we fix it and start holding women to better standards by displaying confidence that so many of us lacked because we were desperate to be married and have a family. Instead of trying to be what our parents were, we need to educate ourselves and train our behavior as men so women will value us. Every young man should have a mentor, hopefully his father, who has been through a bad marriage and financial rape, to teach him how to handle women. My father was a great man but he had nothing to teach me about women as he got married young and had a good family. Women today are not like my mother yet we as men are still like our fathers. What caused women to be this way is for another discussion but they have used the internet and social media to teach each other how to use men for financial gain and attention. The State supports this behavior so it is up to men to correct our behavior so women either fall in line or end up alone or as single mothers. While being divorced is not a stain on a woman like it used to be 50 years ago, there is something wrong when beautiful women are walking around today having been married twice, have kids where the dad does not even speak to or wants no part of them, and are still posting stuff all over Facebook about their dating and parental lives like it is a success to be where they are in life. The men who were involved in them are filled with anger and sit in silence because they see being divorced and isolated from their kids while having their hard earned money taken from them by the State as an embarrassment even if they did nothing to cause the divorce. I will never be an advocate of not dating or getting married because I am worried the women might be a horrible person. That is the easy way out. I know many MGTOW guys who while perfectly capable of meeting and dating women who simply avoid them at all costs. I understand. There are more men who simply do not know how to meet or date a woman because they have not learned on how to be with women on their terms. Women should be a compliment to a mans life not his priority. He needs to be able to take or leave any woman. If the woman treats you with respect and admiration then she deserves your attention. If she behaves like she only cares about what you can do for her financially, then you get away from her as fast as possible. That is what I did. I walked away from a beautiful woman who I had two young kids with because despite wanting to be like my father in terms of how I provided for my family, I was not going to be used by someone who clearly cared nothing for me and only saw me as a wallet and a sperm donor for her kids because I was the guy who was around when she was ready to do what she had to do to get her kids and secure her financial future through my hard work. I still thank God for giving me the courage to do this because this was before the information men are now teaching each other was available in the massive amounts it is today. Most men faced with the situation I was in stayed in their marriage and years later they are even more miserable or now that they are seeing the light, the wife has already or is in the process of raping them for even more money in divorce court. If you are a father with a son and have been through the divorce and child custody wars it is your duty to teach your son how to manage women and still have kids and maybe even a family. This starts with modern day dating techniques that involve making your son be a better and more dominant man. If you are a man who does not have a mentor to teach you these things, find one. The money I save men and the lessons I teach are worth the time and investment. Having knowledge about your enemy is the biggest boost of confidence heading in to battle. Despite my experiences with women I still want to spend time with them. Had I known what I know now when I was 20, my dating and married life would have been totally different. The mistakes I made when dating as a young man make me cringe and these mistakes lead me to make bad decisions in later relationships that caused financial and mental hardship that no good man deserved. What I learned from these experiences need to be shared with other men as we are in the process or transitioning from a generation of men who see family like the Cleavers on one level to a new set of men who dont know how to manage dating and women and are going to get buried. The end result if we do not help each other with these changes is going to be a culture of Americans, and you know who I am talking about, who will shun family and shun kids for a life of porn and video games. We cant fix women as they are only destroying themselves with all this social media, but we can still manage them to our advantage. If we dont do it, the USA will die off more so than it already has because of how the modern day female. Without family, children raised in a two parent home, and church, the culture will die off. Time to wake up men and start learning how to be men so the bad or damaged women can be avoided no matter how pretty they are. Once we get ourselves straight, the women who value what our parents did will fall in line and we can build families were women's hypergamy is kept in check. When I decided to leave my wife, I was not very educated in terms of the family court system or even the law for that matter. I paid for a couple of consultations with lawyers to see how it worked. I had never even thought of divorce and always laughed when Eddie Murphy or some other rich guy mentioned words like "half" while they got divorced from women who literally contributed nothing to a marriage beyond their looks. These lawyers I talked to all knew the law inside and out but you could feel the joy in their mannerisms as I rattled off my list of assets and living situation with young kids and a stay at home wife. They all made it clear my assets were going to be taken and I was not likely to get equal custody of my kids despite me having nothing that could be brought up in court that would indicate I would not be the best possible father for my young daughters.
I am guessing most men reading this blog are like me. You are a good dad, probably successful, and while you have a strong personality, you aren't prone to anger or violence in front of anyone much less your wife. You have simply had enough of a woman and want a divorce and proper custody. You may also be a man who was blindsided by a woman who wants to divorce you and deprive you of your assets and children. No matter what has brought you to the point of you wanting out or you finding your ex wants out, there is one common denominator that is now going to explode in all of us no matter how controlled and strong you are as a man. ITS CALLED ANGER!!! Any man who is even slightly a man is going to get very upset when life circumstances force you to lose your assets and access to your children. It is made even worse when the person dictating things to you contributed little to nothing to what you built before you met her and after you met her. Whether she leaves you or you are forced to leave her because of how you are treated, you are going to lose these things. If you don't get angry at this situation, then you are a wimp or just a flat out liar. Once you know it is happening and you cant undo it, you now deal with lawyers, yours and hers. While it is important to pick a lawyer that knows the law and the ins and outs of the local courtroom and its staff, there is nothing worse than to choose a lawyer who you feel does not give a crap about your situation or has no ability to relate through past experience or even just an above average ability to relate to a person who they take on as a client. I interviewed a few lawyers and as the client who was also a lawyer, I soon saw why people hate lawyers, especially domestic lawyers. I finally met one I liked who was real and genuine and she took me on probably against her better judgment. The fact I liked her personally didnt lessen my anger. I wasn't angry to the point I would embarrass myself or be an ass. I was always calm and friendly and did what I was told. She knew how things worked. I didn't although I was getting educated very quickly. It was what it was but I was a strong personality and I questioned everything. Lawyers don't always like that and it can make having smarter or educated clients a little tougher than the average man who is pissed off but does not know what to say or do. Although there were things I did not like, I give her a lot of credit in the fact I felt like she was fair and did her best to relate to me. We had very similar past life experiences. She was not going to gouge me financially despite my deep pockets which I appreciated as I have tried to be the same way with my own clients. Now that the money is going out of my pocket and my wife and I both had lawyered up, the anger got only worse as her first lawyer, who knew nothing about me, writes me a letter offering me two overnight visits a month with my daughters while I also get the pleasure of paying every bill the wife has like she was not capable of doing anything other than being a housewife despite being educated and with a work history. My wife had the advantage and if she didn't know it because of her prior divorce experience, she knew it now. She was a stay at home mom with two young kids while I was the bread winner. She had a college degree and past work experience in sales and teaching but I soon learned that no court was going to be making her work. Until I got in the courtroom to make my case, she was going to dictate what custody I received and she wasn't going to let it be equal. ANGER!! Imagine having to live in a new place while your soon to be ex wife stays in the house you purchased and moved her in to keeps you from equal custody of your kids while she also refuses to work. Her life hasn't really changed other than she is left with a bank account full of money and she has gotten rid of a man she no longer wanted now that she had the number of kids she wanted and the desire to be single while staying married. You are working and not seeing your kids equally while you now pay out money. Yes I left the marriage and walked out but not because I wanted to leave. I was finally strong enough to where I was not going to be so blatantly disrespected and used. Its the rare man that leaves a gorgeous wife who is the mother of his small kids and does not have a new woman lined up.That is how bad it was causing me to leave. I didn't ever cheat or have a girlfriend to move on with once I left. The exes smug attitude while she took pleasure in depriving me of time with my kids was off the charts. The fact I had done so much for her didnt mean a thing when it came to being fair about custody. There was no reason for us not to share custody equally. She would rather take them to play in the park then let them see dad however. ANGER!! With all that is going to go on once the relationship ends, it cannot be stated enough how important it is for a man to have emotional support before, during, and after the process is underway. Women are stone cold emotionless creatures. They also have lots of friends who they lie to who tell them to take everything they can off the man. If you think a woman tells the facts of what is going on in a break up or custody to their friends and family, then I have a bridge to sell you. Between their support group and their over all dead emotions that likely lead to the breakup of your marriage, they have a huge advantage over a man wanting equal custody of his kids. If you are angry and unprepared on how to focus it, you are not likely to get equal custody. As your situation moves toward the courtroom and the preparation, ask yourself why are you going to court? If women would agree to equal 50/50 custody, probably 75% of court hearings would never take place. Courts and lawyers cant lose 75% of their business so there is incentive to promote these disagreements which is done by not holding a woman who refuses equal custody accountable by payment of attorney fees or some other penalty for depriving a man of equal custody without cause. We have become so ingrained as a society that by default men need to earn yet women have ownership of the kids. Feminism has only emboldened the absolute unfairness the court system is to a man and damaged children by denying them equal access to their fathers. It simply promotes ANGER in even the most level headed well reasoned man. We are going to court because my wife wants me to see my kids 2-4 overnight days a month. She can be the worst person in the world and unless you have actual physical evidence of mental illness or deviant behavior toward children, 50/50 custody is her worst case scenario so what incentive is there for her to give me equal. The right Judge will also make the man pay her attorney fees for preventing the man from getting equal custody. Do you understand how messed up that is and why even calm natured men have so much ANGER!! In North Carolina, the law is that the Judge "shall consider joint custody" when determining custody of children. This is simply a broad statement that does nothing for a man. The judge can do whatever he or she wants and the things you do or say in court will determine what custody is going to be no matter how great a dad you are. My lawyer made it clear to me on numerous occasions that I was not likely to win equal custody of my kids. It was not because I couldn't be there for them day to day etc. Assume she said this knowing I had every possible angle covered and provided for in the raising of these girls. She knew what the Judge preferred to do no matter the facts which was award the woman primary custody. I was not likely to get equal custody. ANGER!!! Men are told this often enough by their own lawyers that in most cases they give up and agree to a consent order that gives them every other weekend and a dinner visit. The wife's parental alienation tactics combined with no positivity coming your way only promotes your ANGER. It is easy for the person with the advantage to be all calm and collective. This caused me to make a lot of mistakes in my court hearing because I was now living it. Doing the right thing and behaving as a man meant nothing in this battle. When I finally got court to try and win equal custody of my kids, I thought the truth mattered. I thought they type of character I had mattered. I thought my past ability to provide for my family mattered. As men and fathers went there was no one better than me yet I had to go to court to try and get equal custody. I wasn't asking for primary which if the facts that came out against the wife had been against me, getting equal custody would have not even been considered. The Judges and lawyers don't care about any of this stuff and how top notch I think I am. They are about winning and a robotic non emotional procedure. It is not about the best interests of the kids. I saw the tactics by the wife and her lawyers to devalue me and the kids. They took pride and seeing me squirm while they did their best to deprive me of my kids without reason. As long as their client paid them they didn't care. It was never about the right thing. It was about dividing and not promoting the equal value of mothers and fathers which would allow for good co parenting and the best development of the kids possible in light of the situation. The end result in court was that I was very passionate and strong in my testimony and I did all I could to keep from speaking out of turn as the wife's lies kept pouring out with a fake Marilyn Monroe voice to get sympathy from the court. She knew exactly how to play victim and get the court to like her. The Judge hated me and admonished me in court about my eye rolls and my clear disdain for the process. I was about the truth and the lies told without the slightest inflection only angered me even more. The judge wanted robotic calm so he could get the info he needed and make his decision and then on to the next case. The fact that not getting equal custody for any parent is deadly to the parent child relationship didn't matter. It was about my behavior. My lawyer had no confidence that I would be awarded equal custody before we walked in there but I knew if I accepted the standard every other weekend agreement, it would be hard to get it changed later and I would be failing my daughters. Girls need a top notch dad and there is not one better than me. The Judge was going to have to take them and he was going to hear from me and how I felt. My lawyer wasnt overly confident about it even after the hearing filled with evidence against the wife that if was on me would cause me be lucky to see my kids at all without supervision. If I was the perfect father being offered 2-4 nights a month, if bad facts came out at trial like they did with my wife, she would have offered me visits with a sheriff in the room with me. The double standard is alive and well. She was doing exactly what she did win and I was not. The two new lawyers she hired prepared her well but the cynic in me says she prepared herself without the need for help. For all the stories and complaints about what the ex does and the negativity of the court system, winning a custody battle or atleast giving yourself a chance to get equal custody of your kids is simply about the Judge liking you or you having something on the ex that makes her likability in court seem not so genuine. You must do everything in your power the make the Judge like you. It is not easy and must be prepped and understood before you go in there for trial. Your wife and her lawyers are pushing your buttons because they know what you are facing and that any normal man is going to react harshly to everything. It is very hard for a man, a dominant problem solving man, to just sit quietly with no emotion while a woman tells lies about you and blatantly hurts her kids with the use of the school system and mental health professionals. She says you aren't worthy of equal time with your kids yet you were worthy to pay all her bills while she stays at home. Men need other men to prep them correctly to handle this dilemma. I did horribly in court despite me being the most real and truthful witness possible. All my anger got me was an admonishment from a judge. The lying wife was not called out on what she did or said because she said it calmly and with the victim voice. My passion and body language was not liked by the Judge so truth or not, I was scolded in open court. Ultimately I was given equal 50/50 custody by the Judge. It wasn't because of me. It was because I found the wife's secrets which when presented in court probably turned the Judges stomach. While he thought what he thought about me in a negative way, he saw I was clearly was a good and we have this woman who was clearly not as she presented. Despite all the evidence, the lawyers including my own were shocked that I got equal custody. Now that I know more about the system they were right. The absolute craziness of it all aside, most men don't have things going for them that allow them to get equal custody if the Judge does not like them. I was very angry that in light of the facts I was made to go to trial because I wanted to be an equal partner in my children's upbringing. I would learn this again later when my ex made a motion to get the kids back in her primary custody using her behavior to create conflict to justify being back in the courtroom. One reason I tell men to never consent to a custody agreement giving him less than 50/50 custody is that he will not only miss out on the time watching his kids grow up, but when the day comes that he wants more time, he has to show a "substantial change in circumstances" to make this happen. Basically once a custody order is in place the standard to change it is much harder. That didn't stop my ex wife however. She does not want me having influence on the girls upbringing or thinking which I will never understand. I was soon back in court with a new Judge presiding. This Judge was not going to be on my side for lots of reasons that don't matter. My ex and I didn't co parent and didn't speak to each other. I wont bother with the stories and behavior designed to create conflict to get the case back in front of a Judge. I will share one example though that pretty much summed up what I was going to face no matter what I tried to do for the benefit of my kids. My daughters attended the local public elementary school. I had applied for my daughters to get into a local charter school where there were lots of applications for very few spots. My girls were pulled off the wait list at the last minute and given spots for the upcoming school year. I was over the moon and assumed the mom would be as well. I told her to go go the school and meet the teachers etc and she refused. She made it clear that the public school was much better than the charter school. I was shocked. I offered to do anything to let them go. I begged her to let them go and swallowed my pride to text a woman who I wanted no contact with. I would take and pick them up(I was working she was sitting at home without a full time job) and every suggestion was rejected. I enrolled them anyways and asked for a hearing in front of a Judge which would take place before public school would start. The girls went the first day and loved it. I assumed even a Judge that hated me would allow the girls to go to the Charter School that was clearly better than the public school. The ex got an injunction pulling them out of the Charter School before the hearing would take place even though attendance would not interfere with the first day of public school should they be ordered back to public school. Needless to say I was very upset. In addition to all the things I felt she did to destroy the kids self esteem she is now depriving them of a better education which would cost nothing extra. I got spots for the girls that other parents were praying for and not getting them. We went to court and I was very mad. I spoke openly about everything. The Judge did not like me and ordered the girls back to public school and fined me substantially. She even scolded me for sending too many texts to the wife over the issue. I will never forget her telling me in open court that my kids would not do well at the Charter School anyways. I was mad beyond belief and probably had the courage to speak openly more than most men who can be intimidated by having to go into a court room for a trial. The Judge didn't change the custody because as much as she disliked me and took joy in fining me for trying to better my kids education, she interviewed the girls and it was clear I was a good dad and they enjoyed their time with me. There was passion from me as to my belief in the injustice that had gone on, but there was no "substantial change" in circumstances to justify a switch of primary custody to the mother. While all these examples regarding my own situation will someday generate a book as to the injustice of the court system and understanding female behavior, I do what I do for men now because I didn't have the guidance and emotional support which would have helped me behave in a way in court that the Judges want. Judges are giving more men equal custody than they used to and you don't always need a smoking gun against your wife to win equal custody but if you are not likable by the Judge you cannot win absent a smoking gun similar to what I had. I am the most likable guy in the world day to day yet in the courtroom speaking up is simply frowned upon and no one cared that your emotions are on high because of what is going on. The woman who is being rewarded for the divorce has nothing to lose and has all the custodial advantages so it is easier to keep her calm and she likely does not even need help. As you get into the process, ask yourself if you are getting the proper emotional support and guidance so you can be the best witness possible so the Judge will like you. The Judge is going to rule for who they like best absent real bad behavior against the kids. Most parents with cases going to trial are just two people who broke up and the mom wont allow for equal custody. The dad usually caves in but if he fights he must know how to act in court. I would have given anything to have this ingrained in to me to offset the negativity where you are told what you aren't likely to get with no logical reasoning to support such a result. While you don't want your lawyer to lie to you about likely outcomes, if you are going to fight you need to be prepped correctly as to how to behave. You should want someone on your team that has been through this process and can help you prepare emotionally for how to act in court. I didn't understand the importance of behavior over truth and only by the grace of God did I get stumble upon the smoking gun that got me equal custody when I probably would have lost without it because of how I behaved in court combined with courts defaulting primary custody to the mother. I dont blame my lawyer for this as it was going to take a special person to get me to be quiet in court but most men can be counseled and controlled if they respect who is teaching them. I have done it for even the most angry men with military backgrounds who would kill their ex wives if they could get away with it. Despite the difficulties with the ex, the lack of coparenting, and no speaking to each other since the day we separated, I have a good relationship with my daughters and I still have equal custody. They are now to the age where what they want matters so the shenanigans from the ex can be further ignored. Let the girls decide if they want to change things. I like my chances. Do not underestimate the value of equal custody of your children. There are reasons that your ex does not want you to have it which goes beyond money. Getting equal custody is not easy but should always be fought for until the very end even if that means trial. You must be trained as to how to behave in court and it must be done by someone you respect and who can offer detailed advice supported by their own experience. You now know where to go to get it. I know who you are. You are my neighbor or someone I talk to in my professional life. Maybe you are one of my friends living in misery who will talk to me about your miserable marriage and how being the nice guy has caused you to be used and abused. The facts are always the same. You married because you thought the woman was going to treat you right and maybe carry her weight by working or being someone to give you some kids and be a good mother and wife. Who does not want a family? Look at your parents. They probably stayed married and raised you and your siblings without much money. Sure things were simple as there was no Instagram or Facebook. Nothing meant more than the family and they made it work. Why cant you do it you ask. Your kindness and hard work is now being treated as weakness. Your wife might be having an emotional affair or touching her computer more than she touches you. Heaven forbid she might be cheating on you with some guy she met at the gym or some guy who has a wild streak attached to him who gives her attention because he wants to get in her pants. She took the wedding ring you spent too much money off her finger long ago and probably speaks very little of you to people she meets. If she even admired or respected you at one point, that disappeared long ago. Sex is now an afterthought in your relationship. All the things you were taught to be as a man may have attracted women to you and allowed you to get married and even have a family but really you were just a ticket to financial stability for a woman whose goals are simply about herself. You are waking up and now know to fix your situation you are either going to pay with money for freedom or the slow death of a life of misery because you are too nice to do anything to betray your marriage vows or leave your wife no matter how poorly she treats you. Either choice you make is filled with defeat and losses and your wife knows this so the negativity she brings is only amplified. If she even thinks you are not happy, her own plans for self preservation escalates and the disrespect she shows for you becomes even more blatant.
Men contact me and want me to explain why all this happened despite being the nice guy and doing everything right. They ask me how they can fix it and keep their relationship. I faced this personally and asked the same questions. Accepting reality is tough and not easily achieved even with all the negativity staring at you day to day. No man wants to accept that he married a woman who had an agenda and who didn't care about him as a person. Why did she require so much of you yet these new friends of hers get all the benefits you no longer get despite you paying for her life. She built up her bank account through your hard work and could manipulate you the whole time because you are a normal man. She can cash in her prize pack anytime knowing the longer she waits, the prize packet gets bigger. You want sex, family, and occasional appreciation. Sex goes away and the appreciation you thought your wife had for you was all faked, and the family might be great but if you want to be away from the poor treatment, you likely lose access to your kids. This is what it is. Its as no win as it gets. You cant fix it and any delays in deciding how you will manage your life only makes it worse and the recovery harder. Making a decision to end your marriage or to let your wife know directly or indirectly you no longer want to tolerate you being taken advantage of is not easy. It took me two years from the revelation and acceptance as to what was going on before I could walk out and begin fresh. This was before there was so much Red Pill information out there to give me that push I needed and it cost me a lot of money by waiting but I justify it because waiting allowed me to stumble on information my wife had that helped me get equal custody of my kids. A gift from God but I digress as my point is once you realize what is going on, the advice is simple. Change your life. Take the Loss. Fix Yourself. Don't wait. This is not easy and I know it. I walked out on a woman I loved and was attracted to despite how I was used and disrespected beyond belief. It was staring me in the face and I just ignored it which was against my character of someone who faces and addresses all problems I face. It had to be done. You know it does too. Choosing to end a marriage is going to cost you. There is no way around it. You might have a good lawyer or learn some secrets that can minimize the loss, but you still lose. Everything you worked for will be at least cut in half and you may not get equal custody of your kids. Your lifestyle will change. It also takes some adjustment to be alone and get back out into a dating world that has even more negativity. The other option is stay and die a slow death probably earlier than expected while your wife roots for your death, increases the insurance coverage(your wife probably has an insurance policy on you that you don't know about), and you age quickly making you even more unattractive to your wife who has now reduced you to a child in her mind. While you cannot change what is going to happen to you when it comes to divorce, the one thing you do have control over is yourself. You might be broken from years of hard work and mental abuse, but you can fix that. Once you are free and in your new residence, set some goals. Fight the divorce fight but get it past you. You will soon know how much money you have and what custody you have of your kids. You do not need to talk and interact with your ex wife, kids or not. Do not feel obligated to do so especially after the divorce and a custody order is in place. Enjoy your peace and quiet. Focus on being a better father. While its easy to say go lift weights and get buff, why not just start with a better diet. Exercise is always good but start slow. Try to lose some weight or just be outside more. Get some sun on your body. If you turn into some fitness nut that is great, but don't believe extremes are necessary. Improve how you feel about yourself. Enjoy women on your terms. You don't need to be in a relationship but you can date. If you don't have the skills to approach and meet women, that can be fixed as long as you are reasonably attractive. While the MGTOW option is there, again its one I do not support. Instead of hating and ignoring all women, enjoy them on your terms and learn from your past so they cant do what past women have done. Fun does not mean marriage or even a long term commitment. Openly just showing hate for women does not make you an attractive man but the hate for an ex is understandable. Dont talk about her or talk to her. Shes dead to you. The list of what you must do to fix yourself is endless but it is slow and gradual. Once you mentally accept what has happened to you, the sooner you can fix yourself. It is not easy and you often need support and a push. Men suffer in silence and take way more losses when it comes to the loss of a relationship while women always seem to have an army of friends and family to encourage her and help her beat you in every aspect of divorce and custody. They also can get a new man in seconds while even the best men have to work to get female attention. You have to get away from that. You have to eliminate your ex from your life and everyone that reminds you of her. If there are still connections, you will never maximize what you can be for yourself. Changing your mindset is not easy. You are probably a blue pill simp like most of us were for most of our lives. Women spot these men, "the nice guys", and use them like toilet paper. You look back at how you let women treat you before you got married and you cringe. That girl in college who loved you was the same woman who was cheating on you with the bad boys and older men. You probably stayed with her after she cheated on you and she still contacts you on occasion wanting to "catch up" as it is all about her and the self esteem boost. You cant do anything about that. Move on now. Its hard to accept because like me, you are probably an advocate of marriage and family. You want to be a provider. You want a beautiful wife and kids. We all do. However, you have to learn how to handle things when they go bad and have the courage to take your life back from the horrible woman who took some of it from you. Think about where you are it. Ask yourself honest questions. You know the truth. If you are that man who is afraid to leave his wife despite all the bad treatment understand she is either going to continue to treat you worse while you age out of your life broken and too often past the point of recovery or she has her own exit plan timed for her financial and social benefit. If she is treating you poorly and still staying in the marriage it isn't because she loves you, wants to fix it, or has even the slightest bit of respect for you. You already know this and like me, you were afraid to pull the trigger and take your life back. For all the damage my ex did to me, it helped me emotionally to show her that no matter how beautiful she was and we had kids, I was better than how I was treated and was not going to take it. It also cut back on the amount of my personal stuff she took. Women are thieves and will steal your personal things out of spite no matter if it has no meaning to her once she thinks you might be on to her game. If I had waited there was a good chance I would have come home from work one day with all the stuff in the house gone(most of which was mine before we married) with a note saying call my lawyer. I know men that has happened to and it is devastating. Do not be that guy. Once you do get the courage to leave, for all the losses you will take, no matter how your life changes, it will be for the better. You are your own person and you deserve to be happy but you must create your own happiness. As bad as things are, waiting is only going to make it worse. Take back your life gentlemen and begin fixing what you have left of it after the trauma of the divorce and custody fight is over. You might find that you end up happier and enjoying the company of women on your terms and an overall better life. Your self esteem is worth way more than any pay out you will give to an ungrateful woman. For any type of advice to work for you, it must be geared toward your situation and your mindset about what certain things mean. Marriage is a prime example and the breakup of a marriage and how it is handled determines whether certain advice has any actual meaning to a certain individual. If you are one of those guys who has gone through a divorce and maybe even child custody who wonders why men like me write what we do or believe we are just angry because someone hurt us, then we likely have a different definition of what marriage means and how divorce typically affects people and their children.
I don't want to talk to a man who tells me how he and his wife split up and they agreed on the division of the assets and they co parent without a problem. What really makes me puke is how I then have to hear how you remained friends with your ex and still talk to her with little to no animosity. The worst men then add how they still do stuff with the ex, and often her new boyfriend. That is all fine and good and its great you worked everything out, but I am guessing your definition of life and marriage is much different than mine or you are so stupid that you don't mind being manipulated by a woman who used to be your wife well after the divorce. Marriage goes beyond meeting someone who becomes your best friend and you build a life with her because you "love" her. It is so much more than that. Of course you want to be friends and have open interaction with the same family goals etc, but for many dominating, strong men, marriage is so much more and its success is mind blowing while its failure has huge ramifications. In addition to interacting well, you want to feel a passion towards the person unlike most anything else you feel. You need to feel about the woman you marry like you do your dream job or with the passion you would put toward running your own business. You want to be affectionate and have regular mind blowing sex. You want her to succeed in everything she does. You are a team and if the team breaks up, you suffer mentally, physically, and emotionally. If you don't feel these things about your partner you should never get married. The dilemma is that most men don't find this set up unless it is when they are young. Once you are out of school and in the work environment you have more going on. It can still be found but its more difficult as you age. If you want kids and haven't found that passion and connection with someone, what do you do? Do you settle? Do you stay single hoping the woman that makes you feel like you know you should is going to find her way into your life and still be able to have kids? There is no easy answer to that but I do know that is men did not want kids, there would be a lot less marriages versus women not wanting kids.Marriage for the second or third time is also often looked at with less demand and passion. If you are getting married for the first time, it is rarely smart to marry a woman who has already been married and divorced. On top of her already non caring nature when it comes to marriage, if she has done it before and you are now man number two, ask yourself why she is marrying you. If you look at things honestly it likely isn't because you are this great man she feels passion for and wants to do all the things that would make her a great wife. Most men dont see or understand how a woman thinks when it comes to marriage because most men, top notch men who were raised right, see marriage as so much more. Divorce is about deception or betrayal brought about by disrespect. Most men's marriage ends because they were deceived or betrayed. If a man cannot pinpoint the deception or betrayal what exactly what it was, the disrespect will be in his face and that pushes the divorce to happen. If your marriage ended amicably, you likely never should have been married. If you remain friends with an ex wife after a divorce you never should have been married. I dont care if there are kids involved. A man who married someone he felt all he needed to feel who pushed his desire for her off the chart only to see a divorce is not a happy man. All of the emotions are amplified and if he is successful, having to give up the assets in a divorce proceeding is not mentally easy. Add a wife who will try to limit custody or even alienate the kids and the emotions are amped up. The money and the kids is just icing on the cake for the deception or betrayal you feel which caused your marriage to end. Did your wife cheat on you? Did she refuse sex? Did she hate your guts and be financially dishonest while she pretended to like you? Did she have secrets that made you question who she was and why you were fooled for so long? The list is endless but whether she left you or you had no choice but to leave her, you still have passion and love for her and will be in fight mode not only for yourself, but to show her you are not a wimp that will be bullied. Men who don't feel these things before, during, and after marriage and later divorce, married the wrong woman for the wrong reasons. If you don't have anger and don't fight every issue that matters then as a man you aren't really being a man. Part of fighting is knowing when to make a deal and when you are dealing with an unreasonable ex spouse. The advice we at Men United give are not for the man who has no passion for his marriage or married a woman who he is going to roll over and give her whatever she wants because she wants a divorce. Fighting the divorce battle from a monetary standpoint or wanting equal custody does not mean you are angry. There is a time to fight and a time to move on. If you don't know or have the proper guidance, you can make a real mistake both emotionally and financially that will affect the relationship with your kids. Assuming you are the type of man we like to work with so these women will be held accountable for their behavior, the next step is to figure out what battles to pick with the ex and most importantly how to manage yourself physically and mentally during and after the process where even the strongest men break or commit a crime. Stay tuned for more help. I don't watch as much sports as I used to when I was younger. Getting older makes it a bit harder to follow players and wear jerseys of men/kids half my age. With rare exception, from the outside seeing other men and how they dress in their sports gear, it looks pretty stupid. Most of my soccer jerseys and other either valuable or unique sports memorabilia collected over a life of playing and watching sports(that my ex wife didn't steal from me under my nose before I could move out of my house) is boxed up and waiting for the day they can be sold. I have no interest in them and I have some pretty cool jerseys. I am even considering quitting a fantasy baseball league I have been in with the same guys for 30 years. No I am not depressed but as you age some things don't matter as much as they used to and life experience can make your priorities change. That being said, I still watch the NBA and have been a Lakers fan since I was a little kid when Kareem came over from Milwaukee and we got Magic, Kobe, Shaq etc. Nostalgia at its best. While I am not as passionate as I was as years past, I still try to keep up with them.
What does all this rambling have to do with divorce, child custody, and female nature etc, you ask? This summer they signed DaMarcus Cousins whose story with injuries and the amount of money it has cost him is well documented. As soon as he signs, he tears up his knee and may never wear the Lakers uniform. Making things worse for him, if you haven't heard, Cousins just got married over the weekend. He has kids by another woman so is probably paying her a ton of child support which goes not for the kid but for the baby mama. For some reason Cousins thinks its a good idea to get remarried and guess what, he wants his kid to attend the wedding. Can you believe the gall of such a request? Shockingly baby mama refuses to allow the kid to attend and it pisses Cousins off as it would any man. Baby mama turns on a hidden tape/video recorder and after refusing to allow his kid to attend his wedding, she gets Cousins on tape making all sorts of threats to her. She basically alienates his kid from him, refuses even the slightest act of kindness to a man who no matter their differences, is through the system of female wealth building called child support giving money every month to her for doing nothing. This set up is not new and is probably ongoing with Cousins and baby mama so provoking him is not a challenge. The fact he is a 7ft alpha male athlete type makes it even easierto provoke. He is now on tape saying things he shouldn't and its going to cost him quite a bit more had it was he said she said about what he said. As I referenced in a prior post, I had this happen to me. The only difference is that I found the recorder by accident before I got to the point I was outwardly making the threats that were running through my mind because of how a woman I loved and took care of was using the system to destroy me financially and blatantly alienate my kids from me with support of the family court system. After losing everything I had worked for and being under emotional and financial pressure, I very easily could have made threats to my soon to be ex. While certainly not the right thing do, under the pressures of the loss of money and family and a woman who knows how to say the right things to make the situation worse, to ask even a top notch man to not respond at least once inappropriately is asking a lot. Women know this as well. That is why they will carry recorders with them everywhere once the relationship starts to go bad or they think that divorce becomes a possibility. The wrong thing said on tape can cost you professionally and personally. The examples I could list of this behavior by women is endless. You don't ever see men taping women with such planning. By the time a man starts taping his woman, its too late. She knows all the tricks and your efforts to catch her cheating or behaving improper is not going to happen. With men, even after its obvious the relationship is over or has been from some time, we still lash out because we are the ones being isolated from our children and destroyed financially well after the divorce. The double standard is off the charts. Therefore, here is your free tip of the day..... Once your relationship even appears to be slightly going bad, SHUT THE HELL UP!!! DONT SAY ANYTHING OUT OF ANGER OR THAT WILL HURT YOUR FINANCIAL OR CUSTODIAL INTERESTS. ASSUME THERE ARE RECORDERS IN EVERY ROOM AND ON YOUR WIFES PERSON. YOUR ASS IS BEING TAPED AND THESE WOMEN ARE BETTER AT IT THAN DONNIE BRASCO AT A FAMILY SIT DOWN. Do you think I am embellishing or just saying things to scare you? Think again. Cousins is just a high profile example. I was married to the perfect looking soccer mom. If you met her you would think she is the nicest and prettiest woman you have ever met. It means nothing. Its an act. Its fake. Whether it was her own thinking the marriage was over(notice its thinking with women and they wont ever tell you until all their contingency plans for divorce are in place) or me stupidly dropping hints that I thought it was over, her vengeful side appeared. She was going to do anything to get all the money and alienate me from my kids despite the life I provided for her and no matter how different we might be, never doing anything to threaten or insult her. It didn't matter. She was going to covertly tape my ass. A good husband. The father of her children. She was doing this and not even caring if her attempts at provocation could cause me to say or do anything that could cost me my professional licenses or go to jail. Your wife will feel nothing if you end up in prison or cant earn money. What this does to your kids mean nothing yet she will say to a judge she has the best interests of the kids more than you do so she could should have primary custody. Do you get how Twilight Zone this whole system is for men? Your wife is probably doing this to you right now. You aren't exempt from such behavior. Your sweet and quiet wife knows exactly what to do and there are lawyers out there who encourage such behavior to help a woman get the kids even from a good dad. Don't say I didn't warn you. If you need help in this area or want to know how to combat it like I did to help preserve your chance at 50/50 custody, which I got by finding the perfect soccer moms dirty secrets, and maybe save some of your money or job, MenUnited.TV is here. I remember the first time the word divorce popped into my head. I had not been happy in my marriage for some time. In fact, I married someone who the day after we got married took her wedding ring off and I never saw it on her finger again for the length of the marriage(8 years). Watching a gorgeous woman treat me poorly while she treated everyone else well was just something that I could not accept I was seeing. It was a total mindfuck to be married to such a gorgeous woman who treated me with disdain and disrespect while knowing for some reason she was sacrificing her prime to live in a loveless marriage and have kids with someone she had no feelings for. Maybe it was just me being insecure despite my outward confidence. Maybe it was something I was doing wrong. It didn't matter. She was stunning and she was with me. She was as physically perfect to me she was detestable a human being.
Throughout our marriage we had money and all the personal items anyone could want. Add two beautiful healthy daughters to the mix where I felt so proud that my wife could stay home and be a traditional wife while I encouraged her and supported her to work or go to class and life was what I thought it was supposed to be. We never fought(because we never talked) and on the outside we looked like this beautiful family with the world at our feet. Yet there I was using the divorce word in my thoughts. For all the outside positivity, there were clearly a lot of problems. I knew what they were but I didn't rock the boat. A beautiful woman was giving me children and I was in for all the kids I could get. I would do whatever it took to take care of them. In my mid to late 30s I was realizing the dreams I could not find or achieve in my 20s, when I believed, and still do to this day, was the time for me to make those dreams reality. My parents were married for life and with less money and experiencing the burden of tragedy that no one deserves, they made it work. I had a great childhood. For me to think of divorce was just blasphemy. Yet there I was, contemplating divorce. The red bill had been hitting me upside the head since the day the wedding ring came off my wife's finger and she began living the single life filled with the disrespect that dared me to do something. My wife knew who I was, my character, and what mattered to me. She knew how badly I wanted kids and she knew how beautiful I thought she was. Where was I going to find better at this stage in life? Knowing who I was and how I carried myself gave her the outline of how to behave so she could get what she wanted. What I didn't realize and maybe am still in denial about is that she wanted certain things at that time in her life and I was the man who could provide them yet she didn't want me. I was just the right guy at the right time. No matter what I achieved or how I behaved, I was never going to be the man that mattered to her. Maybe I was a rebound from a man she loved. Maybe my ability to earn and provide her a nice life was very appealing even if she didn't smile when she saw me. Maybe she wanted kids and I was a good looking athletic man who would produce big strong kids. I could make a list. The bottom line is she was preparing for divorce before we ever said I do. I had no idea what was to come and my wife's desire to financially and emotionally destroy someone she did not even want to be with was beyond the anything you could imagine. Why do I mention this stuff that happened years ago no matter how bad the divorce ultimately turned out? I say this to help you men who are reading this and other sites who are contemplating divorce. If you are making your list of all the things that justify a divorce or push you to getting legal advice, know that she is already thinking about it. It is likely she has already seen a lawyer. If you are not her first husband as in my case, your wife knows the divorce laws as well as your lawyer and much more than you. Your success in your field means nothing in terms of what you know about the ramifications of divorce. She probably does not want to be married to you but is not going to leave until she can maximize her financial benefit. If you have kids, she does not want you to have equal custody and is planning her exit in the way that will maximize her custody and reduce the time you have with your kids. There are no limits as to what a woman will do once she decides she does not want you for the long term. Without even discussing it, while she can fake certain things day to day to fool the average man, she will show her colors to the point where even a man who believes in marriage can see that things are just not right. Add all of this negativity to the information you are likely to gather as to the cost of divorce and figuring out how to pick the right lawyer. You now realize the financial loss is coming. As an aside, while you are searching for a lawyer...IF A LAWYER TELLS YOU TO SETTLE FOR LESS THAN EQUAL 50/50 CUSTODY OF YOUR CHILDREN OR THAT THE JUDGE WONT GIVE YOU EQUAL CUSTODY, DO NOT HIRE THAT LAWYER!. You must get in fight mode and you need a lawyer who encourages you while you are feeling low because you lost your wife. Part of the fight mode is being the one to file for divorce before she does. Remember 70-80 percent of divorces are filed by women. This isn't the case because the world is filled with bad marriages where men abuse, lie, cheat, and force the loyal woman to leave. Women file because they do it when it will work best for them and they know men simply dont want to face the divorce because they lose money and custody the minute its filed which is what the opposite of what the woman gets when its filed. Women want to time it when you are at your peak financially or atleast not at rock bottom. They will fake what they have to and stay longer with you if it means a higher payout like staying married for 10 years so if you die she can get your Social Security(Imagine getting married a little later in life, working your butt off for 15 years and then you get divorced. Maybe you are pushing 60 and the kids are finally out of the house and your wife is living off all the inequitable distribution of your assets and like many men, the stress of it all finally kills you and you die in your early 60s. Soon after your ex wife goes and gets your monthly social security basically living off what put you in the grave). You aren't filing for divorce first because you want to brag to your friends that you left the sorry bitch and your some big man with no emotions. The men that don't file for divorce first are blindsided when the wife does it or have the obvious on ignore like I did. They thought their wife would never leave. The horrible behavior of your wife was right in front of you yet you did nothing and are now acting in shock that she is leaving you. Even the 20% of men that do file for divorce more often than not they didn't want to do it because of kids or the financial loss or they really wanted a family . I was one of the 20% who filed and I didn't want to do it. I wanted the family and put the bad behavior of my wife on ignore for years because I so badly wanted this great family where I could prove every day that I was going to be the foundation. I would have disrespected myself even more than I had by staying and allowing someone to use and abuse me. The statistics support the mindset of the modern man. It is one of weakness and fear. I would have saved thousand of dollars and made better choices had I had the information or a mentor who could help my mindset as a young man. Without it, I was ripe for what happened to me. I should have had sucker printed on my forehead when I walked around past age 30 trying to find a wife to build my ideal family. As you sit behind your computer and read all these divorce and coaching websites, ask yourself if you can accept what your reality is. It cannot be fixed. Your marriage is over. The question is now can you control the outcome. Can you walk out on your terms before she does. I can show you what to do and how to win. For you white knight beta men and feminist women, especially those who have been through a divorce, who want to contact MenUnited and say we are just bitter and angry men who got divorce raped or left by a woman and we spew nothing but hate, you are clearly missing the message of what we do and how we see women.
Our goals are to prepare men for marriage and divorce with the hope they never have to divorce. No one wants to get divorced but your normal male is not going to simply go monk mode by choice even after a bad divorce. Telling men not to marry or have kids because ours failed yet we have kids who we enjoy is pretty stupid. Telling men not to have kids because women control family courts is also stupid. There is nothing worse than some middle aged dude whose wife left him who now spews a MGTOW lifestyle like hes now the king of the world. It is pathetic and an embarrassment to what it means to be a man. Its almost as bad listening to young men who have been filled with so much negativity of the bitter men saying they are MGTOW and not getting married. But what about having kids these young men ask? Simply saying use a surrogate or just have some bastard kids goes not only against a moral system that many of us follow, but the destruction of the family unit via procreation is never a good thing for a society who wants to be above everyone else. The world has changed however that cannot be ignored and you cannot go into a marriage or start having kids without understanding the risk and the power the wife has especially if you make a good living or are a high dollar earner. There is more at risk for men both emotionally and financially because women simply are not loyal. Their hypergamy is on full display even after marriage because they are educated as to the family court system. In a world where the Ward and June Cleaver household is pretty much dead because its the rare man who can provide for a household without his wife working. Women also don't value what it means to be a stay at home mom and take care of a family. I used to think Generation X was the last generation where men and women still saw the importance of the family over all else. The way people treat each other and how kids are supposed to be raised still had a foundation in the core of this age group as it was their parents who stayed married forever and showed very little disrespect to each other when compared to the modern 21st century woman who is in a marriage or relationship. I am thinking now that it may have been the parents of the Generation Xers who last implemented these values when it may not have been the easy way to live. My parents stayed married their whole lives and faced many tragedies and difficulties yet as far as I know divorce was never discussed. My mom stayed at home and raised the kids and only took on a career once the kids were in high school. It wasn't because we were rich. In fact my father was poorer than I ever imagined and he could have used my moms income. The fact is their value system was one like many in those days. Dad worked. Mom stayed at home. It wasn't the perfect family but I had a top notch child hood with very few material things. Many parents, including parents of my friends had situations where maybe the dad was mentally abusive or unfaithful and the wife ignored it. The women were not outspoken and most importantly didn't blatantly disrespect the husband like women do now. This did not mean they didn't speak up or try to better themselves. Divorce was also rare because financially it would kill both parents and the kids even more so than it does today. The kids got their values but the economic and social changes pushed this lifestyle away and men who were kids during this time did not learn and adjust. Many of them get married and have kids like their father but married women who are nothing like their mother in their behavior and thinking. My father did not have to experience the modern day nature of a wife that would likely have caused him to drink himself silly or commit suicide if he had to face what the men of today must face in terms of women and behavior. We as men must overcome that and learn to control our relationship mindset This is where MenUnited comes in. We use our experience to prepare men for marriage and divorce. We did not have fathers who knew how to educate us as to the ways of women and the cost of divorce. They either never experienced it or if they did, they didnt talk to their sons. Their sons married women who have no problem showing what they are unlike our mothers who put the family first. We are not anti woman or anti family and certainly dont want to be the fat guy in a lawn chair sitting in his backyard or man cave playing video games talking about how life screwed them over.No matter our experience, we still like to enjoy the company of women yet we enjoy them on our terms and are mature enough to walk away from even the most beautiful of women who still want to date us despite our past relationship experiences that left us battered emotionally by someone we loved and financially destroyed by a family court system who does not value fathers. Young men need to be taught how to be married and when to do it. Why does it make sense to get married young versus waiting until you are in your mid 30s? Why is having kids still one of the most important things a man can do? These are lessons taught by MenUnited. We don't say all women are bad and don't ever get married or have kids. If you do get married and have kids and there is still a good chance you will get divorced. You need to plan for that divorce once you get engaged to a woman. My father was as good a man as I have ever met yet he was clueless how to explain the world to me and including the ways of women. If he had, the money it would have saved me and the knowledge he could have provided would have helped me make a better choice at a better time when it came to picking a wife and getting married. Once a man takes the red pill he cant undo it. He may find the pill through experience or the knowledge that is out there like it wasnt before the days of the internet and social media. As men we must now prepare and teach other about life. Unless you do not want kids, marriage and children is vital to a successful and moral society. Stories of divorce, financial rape, and parental alienation should never keep you from marrying and building a family. What the social media age should teach you is when to marry and how to manage your marriage. It should teach you the nature of women so you can pick one where you atleast have a chance to have a solid long term relationship while also knowing that even if you think you got a good one you are likely to be divorced or that you will be living in a marriage of defeat until you die because you dont have the confidence to walk away, which is your only power in a relationship. If you want to read about men complaining why their divorce went bad and that they now embrace the MGTOW life, MenUnited is not your source. If you want to try and understand the nature of women, why they do what they do, and how to anticipate and react to it in the marriage and dating environment, we are your source. If you are married and see divorce as a possibility and didn't prepare for it early on and want to know what to do to minimize the payout and see your kids as much as possible we are your source. A woman's worst enemy is an educated and confident man. Looks and money don't always bring knowledge and confidence even it if brings plenty of women. Without knowledge and confidence even the best looking alpha behaving dominant personality is going to be run over by what is likely a pretty and hypergamous woman. Our job is to educate and help you depending on where you are in your life. Only brutal honesty, which includes specific stories about a specific woman and general descriptions that fit most(there are always exceptions to every general statement) but not all women, in addition to teaching men to think, can help men manage their relationships and divorce. The more men I run across who need help from a legal or emotional standpoint dealing with the loss of their marriage, the more it's about trying to figure out why they are getting divorced and not how to save their assets and maximize time with their kids. I am amazed by the men who are looking for affirmation that they were a good husband and provider while trying to understand why their wife wanted a divorce or why they were treated so badly that they were forced to leave their wife even if they didn't want to despite the years of mental abuse, shaming, and disrespect. These same men will hire a lawyer who will encourage them to give up marital assets and sign a custody agreement that gives him every other weekend with his kids because they are told this is the best they can do in court. The lawyer gets his fee, does minimal work, and the man soon thereafter realizes his mistake and starts to see the financial and emotional issues that come with being bullied by the process like he was while he was married. Despite all this negativity and sudden change in day to day life, he still wants to know why his wife didn't want to be married to him any longer. As one of the 20% of men who left his wife and filed for divorce after years of mental abuse and neglect versus the typical man whose wife filed for divorce, I asked the same questions and sadly still do more than I want to admit. I didn't want to be divorced. I loved my wife and kids. The divorce process was horrible from losing most of my assets to a woman who contributed nothing to having to fight to win 50/50 custody of my two young daughters. I had barely moved out of my home when her first lawyer sent me a letter offering 2 days a month visitation with a long list of financial demands by a woman who refused to go back to work despite a college degree and who would use the system to spend the next four years not working full time. I was forced to endure a trial for child custody because I wanted 50/50 custody where my character and parental desire and skills were questioned by lawyers who without reason or evidence wanted to see a good father not have equal custody of daughters who need a strong dad in their lives regularly. It takes a special kind of evil to advocate for such a position but it was done with ease and a big smile. This is a process I wouldn't wish on any man yet despite being the one who left and seeing how badly I was treated pre and post divorce, I still too often asked myself what did I do wrong to cause this marriage to end? Why didn't my wife want to be married to me and why was I disrespected to the point I had no choice but to walk out on my family and endure the hell of the family court system? For all the marriages that do end(50% of first marriages and 70% of second marriages), think of all the marriages that don't end because the man does not want to deal with what most men who get divorced have to face. Now that many years have passed and I can reflect with less anger, I use my experience to help men understand why there was simply nothing they could have done so we can focus on doing as well as possible in a financial and custodial sense while letting the need for an explanation why go by the wayside as much as possible. Let me explain. Unless you are very lucky, you likely married a woman who was settling for you at a given time in her life when she wanted financial stability, children, or just wanted a wedding to show all her friends that she was married. If you weren't her first husband she likely needed you to take out the revenge she had for the first husband who didn't turn out to be the man she wanted or give her children. She does not want to be a wife and has no interest in an equal partnership over the long term. Her needs are her needs and they do not involve you. Once you have kids you will learn real quick that you are basically an afterthought and once she is done having kids with you, your value is even less. Her priorities are now her kids and you are simply a financial tool to be used and ignored. The older she is when she gets married, there is even less of a chance that she has any true interest in seeing marriage the way a man does and handling the responsibility and honesty that comes with being a wife. Even though she got married, she is still looking for attention. You might satisfy that need for awhile but if you are the nice guy you will get walked on and if you turn out to be a jerk, she will be looking elsewhere quicker and more openly. Back in the day this behavior was a bit more subtle many women knew how to fool the "nice guy" or the man who was doing everything right to make the relationship work. In today's modern social media society, things have changed and attention is more easily attainable and there is a record of who is actually giving a woman attention in the form of likes and followers. Cell phones make the exchange of attention via texting, pictures, and videos as common place and acceptable as getting a girls phone number back in the day so you could call a house phone and maybe get to talk to her. Women don't want other women getting more attention than they get married or not. Ask Steph Curry's wife about that. She does not even hide her desire for attention. If your wife is pretty your marriage is even more likely to fail because the attention she receives will be off that chart and women are not loyal long term in the 21st century. As a man you have to show you are the prize and rather than try to negotiate her desire or tolerate disrespect that goes way beyond the day to day issues that exist in a marriage, you must be able to walk away from women who do not respect you and what you bring to the table. If she does not admire you and what you are, you cant do anything to change that. A woman like that is never yours. It is just your turn. Her desire will soon be focused elsewhere and its simply a matter of timing when things go bad. As the man you need to decide when to move on or that you are the guy who will accept the wife being in control and stay until the kids leave the house or until she leaves you knowing you have no respect from the woman whose life you likely provide for day to day. There is no right answer but a self aware man is going to be an emotional basket case the day he realizes what his wife truly is and has to decide how to live his life going forward. When kids are involved you must make decisions that benefit their well being and there are no easy answers. Women know they control the narrative and if you are the nice guy who brings home a good paycheck, which is likely why she married you and allowed you to father her kids, you are in a no win situation while you wake up each day knowing she can pull the plug and get all the cash and prizes provided by the family court system. In the early stages of relationship failure men want to talk about all they do right. I make good money. I give her a car and a home and I help out with the kids. I clean the house and take care of the yard. I basically do everything I can so she has nothing to complain about. I also don't challenge her and defer to her wishes and desires. What men fail to realize is that no matter what they do, she is not going to be satisfied. She wants more and the foundation of your sacrifice combined with her own inner arrogance will make her even more emboldened to think she can find it whenever she wants it. If you mix in the likely NPD she has because she is pretty, you are pretty much screwed when it comes to maintaining an honest respectful relationship with her over the long haul. Has she been married before? Did you marry someone with kids from a prior marriage? If this is the case, you are likely just the next in line of her trying to find her unicorn. She picked you because of her need for money because her first husband was everything bad that you are good or this was the time to have kids. It is possible she didn't get enough money from the first husband or wanted more kids because she couldn't fool the first husband long enough to get all the kids she wanted. Once you meet her currently prioritized needs she will time the exit of the marriage by simply leaving or behaving so badly that she lives like a single woman while you slowly die from despair and she loses more and more respect for you because you allow the behavior rather than leave. This does not mean you're weak because it takes a special kind of man to leave even a bad wife knowing the financial loss and likelihood of not getting equal custody of your kids the minute you decide to walk out. Whether a man should ever get married and when is the best time to do it can be debated. Choosing the right wife is also something that must be discussed by men. How to be the dominant man in a relationship is also important to help a woman understand her role and your value to her so she might not show her nature so soon is also vital. These issues and others as they relate to marriage and behavior are for other topics to discuss. What men need to understand once their relationship ends is not why it ended and what you could have done different. It is too late and the reality is very painful. What men need to learn is what steps to take and when to take them to protect their financial assets and maximize the custody time of kids. They also need to find the right support system to deal with their emotions and to learn what is the best way to deal with an ex using hopefully as little contact as possible post marriage, kids or not. Without the proper support from the right lawyer, a bad situation is going to get worse. Trying to understand why your wife behaved the way she did or why she never really cared enough about you to be an equal partner in your marriage is pointless. You aren't unique and getting input and life or legal advice from the right men is invaluable. Men need to be more communicative and helpful to their friends who are going through this and get them to the right lawyer. My parents were married 40 years until my dad died. He was the nice guy and in today's world he would have been eaten alive by a horrible woman. While I wish I had him or someone to educate me as a young man about female nature so I could develop my sense of awareness and make better choices at better times, the world isn't like that any more and today's woman isn't like your mother. Their values and priorities have changed and they aren't afraid to put their behavior on display because they can. They are ruthless with agendas that so many men ignore because there is nothing better than a pretty woman or the joy of having children, which so many men never get to experience in life. Men cannot change what women have become but we can educate each other early to make better choices in life and how to focus on a task at hand rather than try to figure out why something went bad. There is nothing better than a top notch woman and a wonderful wife as they do exist even if they are as rare as a Trump supporter on a college campus, but when the reality hits that you didn't get one, you need to take the right steps going forward rather than asking why your ex is everything you thought she wasn't while she and her win at all costs lawyers, even to the detriment of your kids, destroy you in family court. There is no better place to get the education and focus on what matters when it comes to relationships, divorce, and child custody than with the team at menunited.tv. I am proud to be a part of it. |
AuthorThe Red Devil Archives
April 2021
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